Chapter 15: It's Not Over Yet

The gang feels that they can finally relax, but soon discover that Garbanzo is not one to rest, even while behind bars.

"...and then, just moments before I could dive in, she loudly queefed in my face," Dad wrapped up his story. "And the look on her face afterwards was absolutely priceless!"

"Hah! That story gets better every damn time you tell it!" Simon fell into a fit of drunken laughter.

About a month had passed since we defeated Giant Moth. It had been a pretty peaceful, uneventful day so far, and my friends and I had spent it lounging around at Xavier's mansion, primarily in the expansive living room. Joining us were my biological father and my stepdad, who had both been invited over. Contrary to what you might assume, Simon was actually my real father, but I still insisted on calling the other guy "Dad" simply because I'd been used to doing so for decades. Not that Simon minded it all that much.

The two had spent all afternoon telling many stories from the past, most of which involved my late mother, and at the moment, Dad had just finished a story about the first time they made love. Don't get me wrong, it was always fun to talk and reminisce about Mom, but this was the type of story that would've been better kept private. And the mortified expressions on Tequila and Xavier's faces were further proof of this.

"I remember even several decades after that, we still laughed about it occasionally. Ah, memories," Dad continued, sipping his beer. "I'll be honest, that cooch is one of the things I miss the most about her."

"Yeah, Dad... you've clearly had a few too many," I replied flatly.

"I think they both have," Tequila chimed in, watching as Simon grabbed what had to be his fifth beer that afternoon.

"Er, pardon my interruption, but I don't suppose you two have some stories to tell that aren't awkward to tell in public?" Xavier asked.

"Sure, but those are the ones where Jasper was present, so he already knows all of them," Simon replied.

"Yeah, so we thought it'd be better to tell the stories in which he wasn't present," Dad butt in.

"Okay, but surely there was something else that happened while I was gone. Surely something funny happened while I was away at school, or maybe during either of your honeymoons," I argued. "Unless you mean to tell me that all you did while I wasn't around was have sex."

Before either man could respond, a jingle sounded from the slightly muted television, signifying a breaking news report that immediately caught our attention.

"This just in, viewers! The house at 789 Tangerine Lane down in Phoenix, Arizona has been broken into!" the reporter explained. "The perpetrator left absolutely no traces on the scene, but the home's owner, fashion icon Carmen Rodriguez, is nowhere to be seen!"

"Oh my god! That's my mom!" Tequila shrieked in alarm.

"In other news today, a riot has broken out within the walls of a prison not too far away, led by recently arrested crime kingpin Garbanzo Gonzalez, son of the former president. He has somehow managed to escape from his cell, and all the guards and cops within the prison have been taken out," the reporter continued.

"Something tells me these two occurrences are connected," I said.

"No kidding," Tequila replied. "We'd better get down there, now!"

"Guys, I hate to say this, but we'd better get going," Xavier stood up. "You two don't mind holding up the fort, do you?"

"Oh no, not a problem at all," Dad assured him.

"Yeah. I've always wanted to tour a mansion," Simon replied.

"Yeah, well don't cause too much trouble while we're gone!" Xavier warned.

"You didn't mention the fact that you have a wine-cellar the size of a football field," I quietly spoke as we went upstairs. "What if those two find it while we're gone?"

"Oh, relax. It's password protected," Xavier replied. "Even if they manage to disable its security system, it's still under manufacturer's warranty."

"But you're the manufacturer," Tequila butt in.

"Gah! What was I thinking giving myself a receipt?!" Xavier loudly slapped a hand onto his face.

---

After loading our armor into our suitcases and driving to the airstrip, we got our bags checked and got onto one of Xavier's private jets so we could get to Phoenix much faster. Tequila kept exuding worry during the whole traveling process, which I could completely understand, but her stress all but dissipated as she fell asleep on the plane ride, and she was surprisingly calm the rest of the way.

Once we had reclaimed our rather light luggage, we headed out to my tan, solar-powered station-wagon, which was parked in the airport lot, and headed out to Carmen's house. Along the way, "Erotic City" by Prince started to play on the radio.

"Man, I remember the first time I heard this song, I was still an egg in my mom's left ovary. And I remember getting fertilized right as the bridge was playing," Tequila giggled. It always amazed me how she was easily able to make snarky comments no matter the situation.

After briefly laughing at that minor joke, we continued to drive until we finally pulled up at our destination. The cops that had presumably shown up earlier had all vanished without a trace, but several strands of caution tape had been hung up on the scene.

"Alright, so we already know that Garbanzo took your mother, but I suggest we stake this place out in case there's some crucial evidence to be found here," I said.

"Sounds fine to me," Xavier replied.

With that, we took turns changing into our armored catsuits just in case there was some hidden danger nearby, before making our way into the house. We climbed through the shattered front window and looked around. The interior was relatively untouched, save for some toppled furniture and broken pottery. And comparing the current scene to my previous surveys of the house, I could tell that nothing had been stolen. Nonetheless, we continued to explore the place, even going to the second floor, but our efforts bore no fruit.

"Well I'm out of ideas," Tequila groaned worriedly. "I guess all that's left to do is make our way to the prison, but... we're in a border state, so there's probably a ton of prisons around here. It'll take forever to figure out which one he took her to, and by then, who knows what he'll have done to her?"

"Don't fret, honey. We can find it in a heartbeat," I replied, taking out my smartphone. "That guy in the news said that the riot happened at the nearest prison, so all we have do do is filter out the prisons that are solely meant for illegal immigrants, and once we've narrowed it all down, we'll just go to the one that's the closest to our current location."

"Well damn, I was about to say that," Xavier grumbled.

---

After figuring out where to go, we hurried back to the car and drove over, trying to move as quickly as possible while remaining within the speed limit. The prison in question was in an isolated location somewhat near to the Rio Grande, and had a loading dock filled with large crates out back. Upon arrival, I pulled the car up to the curb, but I guess I was going just a bit too fast and ended up ramming into the parking meter.

"Huh. Seventeen years with this car, and I've only now damaged it," I chuckled.

"That's impressive. Thankfully it doesn't look too bad," Xavier replied as we got out.

"Oh, thank god you guys are here!" a cop called out to us, grabbing our attention in an instant. "Every single cop who's gone in there hasn't come out or even returned my calls! Needless to say, you three should exercise caution!"

"Will do, chief," I replied coolly.