Chapter 2: The Deliberation

Blake heads home to think over the odd emotions he felt today.

For the rest of the day, Blake continues to ponder the unusual emotions he experienced as soon as he laid eyes on Danielle that morning. During his time in the office, during the bus ride to his apartment complex, and during the elevator ride up to the fourteenth floor. He knows the feelings that came over him are far different than anything he's felt before. He felt... strange. He feels as though he wants to get to know Danielle more, which is not something he can say about the other women on his floor. And when he took in the view of her whole body, he felt a slight urge to lay more than just his eyes on her. To gently rake his fingers through her luscious hair, touch her skin to see if it feels as smooth and soft as it looks, and caress that shapely a*s of hers. He admires the way she looks, the way her voice lingers on certain syllables and seeps into his ears like honey.

Those might seem like emotions that most men tend to feel around certain women, but with Blake it's a different story. It might have something to do with how he was brought up. He went to all-male Catholic schools from Kindergarten up until college and was never allowed to have girls over, no matter the reason. Growing up, he was always so obedient and well-behaved that he never broke those rules. Sure, he sees a lot of women at his workplace, but that's the first time he's ever been around so many females since Pre-K.

No matter how much time he spends thinking on the issue, Blake just can't come up with a reason why he feels the way he does. With a groan, he slumps into his apartment and locks the door behind him. His residence is quaint overall; a living room that flows into a kitchenette, two bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a balcony that provides a splendid view of the cityscape, especially during sunsets. With all the money he's put away over the years, buying an even nicer place wouldn't be breaking the bank or anywhere near that, but Blake doesn't care to spend any more than strictly necessary.

He changes into a slightly more casual outfit, and when he reenters the living room, the rays of the setting sun are reflecting off the crystals on the chandelier, smattering the room in a disco-ball effect. Blake takes in this view for a bit, before receiving a sudden urge to step out onto the balcony. He sits down on one of the woven wooden chairs and ponders to himself, letting the gentle, cool summer breeze blow over him.

The balcony is one of several places within Blake's apartment that he sometimes daydreams about, and said daydreams always involve women. Whether they involve lounging together on the living room couch and watching TV, or cooking dinner together in the kitchenette, or sitting next to each other on the aforementioned porch. And as of now, he's imagining himself doing these things with Danielle.

Oddly enough, the bedroom is not one of the spots he daydreams about. He knows for a fact that he's not into guys, and he's seen some remarkably beautiful women in his time, but not one of them aroused any desire in him. This often makes him a laughing-stock among his male friends, who claim that he has a few bolts loose because he apparently can't feel lust. Blake pays the criticism no mind, but even he wonders if the way he perceives women is really normal or not. He sometimes pictures himself hanging out with them normally, but nothing romantic or sexual ever happens between them. Could it be a result of how he was brought up? Or is it a self-imposed inhibition?

Eventually, Blake stops pondering and has another daydream, this one centering on himself and Danielle watching a romantic comedy in the living room. After the film ends, he shuts off the TV and the two start to make out, before Danielle climbs on top. Right as she starts to unbutton his shirt, he quickly snaps out of it.

"Gah! What the hell is wrong with me?" Blake mumbles. "I've never felt this way before, so why is this happening now?"

He sits there in silence for a bit, before looking up and noticing how long he's been doing so - the sun is almost done setting. Blake grunts and stands back up. He heads inside and shuts the door behind him, before grabbing his keys and preparing to depart. He figures it's about time he heads to the corporate Happy Hour that's scheduled for tonight. Surely a bit of socialization and alcohol will help take his mind off his predicament.