Chapter 9: The Twinning Streak

Same as Chapter 8.

The second brawn event involved several large, flat slabs of rock being placed in the middle of town square, each one surrounded by vines that acted as ropes, much like the ones in boxing rings. On top of each slab were two of the brawny contenders, staring each other down as if they were about to exchange blows. Unsurprisingly, Justine found herself paired up with Mike Jr., who seemed perfectly capable of inflicting some permanent injuries on her.

"For our fourth event, you all have been paired up for a sparring competition. The goal is to keep fighting your partner until one of you gets knocked down three times, thereby making you the loser. And as for the winners, well, they'll be awarded with a perfect score by our judge," Captain Jones explained. "Oh, and just one stipulation. You break even one of your opponent's bones, and you're instantly disqualified."

"Seems simple enough." Mike Jr. smirked, cracking his knuckles.

Justine gulped, but maintained a serious expression nonetheless.

"Three... two... one... GO!" Jones announced as each pair of contestants started to fight.

Mike Jr. didn't bother to check if Justine was ready and instead nailed her right in the gut with a swift yet strong punch, which knocked her flat onto her back.

"Ooh! I don't think I can watch this!" Mark Jr. groaned from the sidelines, shielding his eyes. "I'm sorry, but the mere sight of seeing women get hurt makes my skin crawl!"

"So what if you were getting jumped in an alley by three girls at once?" Josephine chimed in, standing not too far away from him.

"Those chicks can kill me for all I care. I'm not hitting them back," Mark Jr. replied, his tone more serious.

"Wow, just when I thought you couldn't be any more of a pathetic weakling," Josephine sneered.

"Wha-?" Mark Jr. was quickly cut off.

"Sometimes chivalry just isn't the way to do things. You shouldn't be afraid to stand up for yourself when necessary, regardless of whatever gender your opponent is," Josephine deadpanned. "Oh, by the way, there's only two of those."

Mark Jr. merely looked away with a huff.

"Yo, b***h! You gonna get up, or what?!" Mike Jr. called out, still in a fighting stance.

Without a word, Justine abruptly performed a leg-sweep from the ground, knocking her cocky rival over and leveling the score. Both of them quickly got up and started to exchange punches, kicks, and chops, though none of these attacks were powerful enough to knock each other over. That is until Mike Jr. caught Justine's fist right as it was about to reach his face, before quickly lifting her off the ground and performing a body-slam.

Justine grunted upon impact, but quickly came back to her senses and rolled backwards a little. She then launched herself upwards, both of her feet striking Mike Jr. in the chest and knocking him over a second time. She landed on top of him as a result of her attack and quickly leapt off, backflipping over to her side of the ring before he could reach her. Her brow furrowed as she eyed her opponent slowly rising to a stand, before she abruptly ran in, attempting to knock him down before he could even get back up.

However, Justine was abruptly caught by the hand again. This time, Mike Jr. didn't hesitate and quickly elbowed her in the crotch, before shoving her away and making her stumble a little. He then capitalized on her vulnerability by rushing in and punching her square in the face. Justine didn't lose focus, however, and while she was falling backwards, she performed a high kick to the nose that sent Mike Jr. flat onto his back, effectively winning the match.

"We have ourselves a winner, folks... and her name is Justine Simmons!" Jones announced, followed by a trio of trumpeters playing the John Cena theme, only to see the entire crowd give him a tired stare. "No? Nothing? Bah well, since her opponent got knocked down just a second before she could, Justine is now one of this round's winners!"

"Phew, that was close," Justine let out a sigh of relief as her brother helped her up.

"I'll say," Mark Jr. replied.

"Aw, no fair! This was a fist-fight! I should not have lost that!" Mike Jr. complained, his nose bleeding profusely.

"Oh, please. You only have yourself to blame for failing here. Now let's just win the rest of these events, and we'll finally be able to notch our first permanent victory over the Simmons family in generations!" Josephine grinned sadistically.

---

As for the second brain event, all the more intellectual players were lined up on a single slab of rock acting as a stage.

"Alright folks. For this part of the competition, your goal is to simply perform a standup routine for our wonderful audience," Jones explained. "You each have five minutes to get some laughs out of the crowd; fail three times, and you fail this round."

"Heh, this should be easy. He excels in making jokes at people's expense," Justine muttered.

"Pfft, I wouldn't be so sure about that," Mike Jr. chimed in, now sporting a bandage on his nose. "You should hear some of the things my sister has said about other people."

"Er... actually I think I'll pass," Justine replied, not making eye contact with him.

All but two of the brain-oriented participants took their turn in trying to make the crowd laugh, each with varying degrees of success. Mark Jr. wasted no time in stepping up front once it was his turn, and he seemed fully confident in his abilities, so much so that he started speaking the moment everyone focused on him.

"So... Enrique Gonzalez, am I right?" he said, unable to hide the smirk that contorted half his face.

In an instant, the crowd as well as the judge all threw their heads back in a hysterical fit of laughter. Mark Jr. happily took in all the attention he was getting for a moment, before immediately getting back into his routine.

"Y'know, if there's one thing I can't stand about early adulthood, it's how every privilege in life is handed to you at random intervals. Like, I still need to wait a few more years before I can buy alcohol, or rent a car, or even buy a f*****g lottery ticket!" he continued. "So what can I buy? Guns and cigarettes. As if that makes any sense, right?!"

The crowd laughed once more, though not quite as strongly as before.

"And to cap things off: what type of street does ice-cream drive on?" Mark Jr. asked the crowd, only to receive countless head-scratches and shrugs. "Rocky Road!"

And immediately the audience howled with laughter again, prompting him to adopt a cocky smirk as he backed up.

"Try and top that," he sneered, folding his arms.

"With pleasure," Josephine snarked back.

She adopted a stern look as she walked up front, but as soon as she scanned the crowd, she went blank as a corpse for a few moments.

"Uh... so a few months back, I paid off every last cent of my credit-card debt. And boy did it feel satisfying! Hell, it's kinda' like the satisfaction you get when you see your wife walking around the house pregnant, and you think to yourself, 'Yup, I did that'," Josephine said at last.

Although she did manage to make the crowd laugh, Captain Jones was quick to step on stage and approach her.

"Alright, I think that's quite enough," he said.

"What the hell, dude?! I only told one joke!" Josephine cried out in protest.

"Yes, but you ripped that joke right out of The Benefits of Death. And according to the rules, you cannot steal jokes from existing fictional media... regardless of how much of a classic it is," Jones explained. "So for that, I'll have to disqualify you from this round."

"Y-You gotta be kidding me!" Josephine grumbled. "That's such an old show! I didn't think anyone here would still remember it!"

"Oh, get over it. You lost. Why not just try again later?" Mark Jr. asked.

"No one asked you, dick-slice!" Josephine snarled, balling her fists.

---

Moving on to the second team event, all the pairs of competitors were seated on stone benches, once again in the center of town square.

"This particular event will determine how much each competitor knows about their partner, and vice-versa. All you'll have to do is correctly answer a series of questions about each other, and whichever team gets the highest score wins this round," Jones explained.

"Tch, everyone knows that no one knows each other better than siblings. This should be a cakewalk." Justine grinned.

"I get the saying, but let's hope those cakes are gluten free. I've got a mild case of Celiac's," Mark Jr. replied.

"Oh wow, I didn't know that..." Justine said, dumbfounded.

"Alrighty then, so without further ado, let's start with our first question. Justine: what condition does Mark Jr. have that forces him to wear glasses?" Jones asked.

"He's far-sighted, just like Mom," Justine replied.

"Eh, she's right," Mark Jr. simply replied.

"Very good. Now, Mike Jr.: what was Josephine's worst class during the most recent school year?" Jones asked.

"Uh... I'm sure it was Forensics... I think?" Mike Jr. scratched his head.

"Correct, though not by much." Josephine snobbishly adjusted her glasses.

From then on, both sets of twins kept up their winning streak, and by the time the round was over, both teams were perfectly tied.

"Alright, now this final question will be asked to both teams here," Captain Jones began. "Boys, what are your sisters' favorite foods?"

"Shrimp cocktail," Mike Jr. quickly replied.

"And for the other Junior?" Jones asked.

"Um... I think it's pasta primavera," Mark Jr. replied somewhat hesitantly.

"Ehhh! Wrong! It's pasta carbonara," Justine added.

"And with that, the winners of this round are Mike Jr. and Josephine!" Jones announced.

With that, the round's winners stood up as Mike Jr. somersaulted along the ground, his sister front-flipping over him at the same time. They then exchanged a series of high-fives and wiggled their fingers while still facing away from each other, before turning back around and performing a chest bump that sent Josephine crashing into the nearby general store as her brother gave the crowd a sheepish look.

"But fear not. We're only two thirds into this thing, so it's still anyone's game!" Jones continued.

---

For the final third of the game, both wealthy teams knew they had to step up their game, for one wrong move could be enough to cost them the entire tournament.

The third and final brawn event involved a race through a handmade obstacle course through the jungle around the village. Mike Jr., in spite of his superior stamina and mobility, had a much more difficult time traversing through certain parts and even broke a few of them due to his sheer weight. Justine, on the other hand, was able to use her smaller frame and higher agility to her advantage and easily won the event.

The last brain event was a talent show, forcing all the brainy contenders to show off whatever skills they had up their sleeves. Mark Jr. took a long stick and drew a long, complicated calculus equation in the dried mud on the ground, before solving it without making a single mistake. Josephine, rather than flaunting her brain, decided to show off her unexpected flexibility and grace; she performed a complicated stripper-like routine, occasionally using a stick of bamboo as a pole to spin around on. By the time her segment ended, she garnered far more applause, effectively winning the round.

---

It all came down to the final team event, which once again had everyone lined up at the start of a track around the town, although this time half the contenders were lined up at the track's halfway point.

"This is it, folks! The final round is upon us!" Jones exclaimed. "For this last event, the brainy half of each team will have to run as fast as they can until they complete half a lap, all the while carrying a fresh, ripe, and very prickly durian. Then, they must pass the fruit to their brawny partner, who will then finish the race."

"Here goes nothing," Mark Jr. and Josephine mumbled in unison.

"On your mark... get set... GO!" Jones announced, prompting everyone to take off.

"Say, Josephine. I gotta say, that dance routine you did earlier was pretty damn good. I can definitely see why you were able to beat me last round," Mark Jr. said as they rounded the first turn, each with a durian in tow.

"Aww, thanks. As they say, it takes more than a healthy mind to be truly healthy. It also takes a healthy body, hence why I took that pole-dancing class," Josephine explained, a bit flattered from her rival's comment.

"Don't I know it. But you know what else would greatly improve your figure?" Mark Jr. smirked a little.

"What?" Josephine asked.

"Eating my dust!" Mark Jr. replied, putting on a burst of speed as he approached his sister, who took off running immediately after. "Seriously, I know you're blonde, but there's no way you can be that dense!"

"Oh, you are so gonna regret that!" Josephine picked up a little more speed. "Hey Junior! Catch!"

"Huh?" Mike Jr. asked stupidly, before his sister's durian abruptly hit him in the head.

He quickly caught it in his hands, before Josephine abruptly came up from behind and gave him a harsh shove.

"Oh, right," Mike Jr. said sheepishly as he started to jog after his rival.

However, despite his best efforts and generally superior physical condition, he was still a bit winded from losing the previous altercation, as well as getting crippled in the obstacle course. As such, he ultimately lost the race to Justine, and she and her brother effectively won the tournament.

"And that's a wrap, everyone! The winners of this year's Shipwreck Village Games are Mark Simmons, Jr., and his twin sister, Justine!" Captain Jones announced, prompting the entire audience to cheer.

With that, the twins faced each other and slapped the backs and palms of their hands together, before engaging in a double fist-bump and then facing outward as they snapped their fingers. Following this, a pair of the town's guards hurried over and dumped a large bucket of Glacier Cherry Gatorade onto them, before Jones handed them their bronze trophy.

"Rrgh, so close! We were so close to teaching those twats a lesson!" Mike Jr. moaned.

"Oh, if Dad were to find out about this, he'd flip!" Josephine spoke in a rare, concerned tone. "How are we supposed to try and achieve his dream at this rate?"

"Hey," Mark Jr. commented, approaching his rivals alongside his sister.

"Look, if you're here to gloat, just f**k off and do it somewhere else," Josephine growled, dragging her brother away by the arm.

"No no wait! You forgot your commemorative steak-knives!" Jones called out as he gave chase.

"Geez, we were just gonna say 'good game'. At the end of the day, we still had fun," Justine muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Eh, let's just give 'em their space. Snobbish people acting like sore losers is about as synonymous as peanut butter and pickles always going on the same sandwich." Mark Jr. jeered at the backs of the competition.