Side Story

A little snapshot image.

We stood watching our home burn.  Different plumes of flame and smoke signifying different relics of our lives.  Black velvety smokes of wood and books.  Yellowish tinted smoke for the dreams we were still after.  Lacey toxic clouds for the food storage containers. 

We thought of our cats, terrified, their fur going up in a flash, long before they succumbed to unconsciousness… A sizzle of something wet…

I became aware of a greyish object floating about my mouth.  An odd metallic crosshatch-patterned sphere poked at my face.

Microphone. 

News fleas.

"Sir?  You've lost your home, your pets, all of your belongings -- even those things that weren't directly destroyed by flame are irretrievably damaged by smoke and heat…how do you feel?"

It only took a few seconds to formulate the words to express my feelings at this trespass.

"Like becoming the man who murders you."

 

Reviews

[Damian Alan Gray]

Nice write!
I particularly like this line:

"We thought of our cats, terrified, their fur going up in a flash, long before they succumbed to unconsciousness� A sizzle of something wet�"

It sent shivers down my spine.
I might suggest for reader impact, however, that you change the pause marks (there's a name for that isn't there?) to perhaps a semicolon or a dash, then just ending the sentence with a standard period.
I sincerely hope to see more from you soon, my friend. I can tell already that I'm going to like your style.

[luthien7]

Nice "snapshot". This makes for an extremely effective micro-mini, paints a picture the reader can see and relate to. I quite like the ending - in a longer story it would be hurried but here it fits very well (and I think the best answer I've ever heard to that ridiculous and unfeeling question in the midst of a personal tragedy). Like this alot.

Thanks for the opportunity to read!

[yinseriv]

The descriptors were dead on. You played my emotions well. I was left wanting more, which is good. But the end felt rushed a bit. This was a good write though. Glad ta meet cha.