A Lesson In Profanity

Partially a brief How-To manual and partially just a rant. All fun. Yep.

"Bullshit" is used to describe a thing or an event, indicating that it is lacking meaning, pointless, fake, not realistic, a lie, lacking signs of intelligence, etc. It has also been used to indicate that something is incredibly and/or obviously not fair. Sometimes it takes the place of a noun altogether. For a person, you should use the term "full of s**t" or the lesser used "full of bullshit".

"S**t" is another word for feces (In plain words, poop). It is used to indicate that something or someone is worthless, a waste, stupid, etc. In some instances, it can be used interchangeably with the word "bullshit".

"F*****g" is another word for having sex or making love. It is also used to indicate that something or someone is frustrating, exasperating, or otherwise being difficult or hard to handle.

I COULD say 'The cat is being extremely frustrating. She keeps messing around with the cabinet doors while I am trying to sleep." Or instead I could say, "The f*****g cat keeps messing around with the cabinet doors while I am trying to sleep." Both mean the same thing, but the latter statement is shorter and indicates a strong feeling of frustration.

With the correct usage, profanity can be used to convey a stronger amount of emotion in a short amount of words. On the other hand, it can work against you. In fact, there are often times when it is more beneficial to use your vocabulary skills. For example, saying "This is s**t" is okay, but "This is stupidity at it's finest" is more insulting, in a complimentary sort of way. Some people use profanity as a replacement for a vocabulary, instead of as an addition, which I do not recommend.

Because of it's common misuse, (or in in some cases, correct usage but in an insulting form) it is not for everyone. As with all things, what you say is always open to interpretation. Words that only had one meaning to begin with, have different or added meanings now and can mean different things to different people. For example, the word "b***h" is a term of endearment and a compliment to me, implying that I speak my mind and stand up for what I believe in. For some, it simply means a dog in heat. For others, it indicates a cell-mate. And there are also those who interpret it as an insult and only an insult, implying that they are unnecessarily aggressive and/or complain a lot for no reason.

Profanity is always evolving. But not everyone believes in evolution, and context is a hard thing for a lot of people to understand. Use at your own risk.

What is my point behind all of this? Profanity is comprised mostly of one and 2 syllable words. A majority of which, have 7 or less letters. Their meanings are pretty simple. If you can't even use profanity correctly, than you should focus on your regular vocabulary first.

For those who do know how to use profanity but are faced with opposition from others who feel insulted by it's mere presence, some pointers (these could also be useful in situations where someone is offended by something other than profanity):

Person A: "S**t! I dropped my ice cream."
Person B: "I don't see the need for that kind of language."
Person A: "My apologies, ma'am/sir. That was in no way intended as an offense to you, but in fact, an offense to me for dropping my f*****g ice cream."

This also works:

Person A: "S**t! I dropped my ice cream."
Person B: "I don't see the need for that kind of language."
Person A: "Oh my! What a coincidence. I don't see the need for you to wear those ugly brown and green pants in my presence. Sir/ma'am, I guess we are even."

In some cases, profanity can be used to show offense at something else. Here is an example where the one offended uses profanity, modeled from a real life event:

Aunt Phyllis: "BK, did you get pictures of Uncle Cowboy's old shed? Because my camera died before I could."
BK: "Yeah, I got a bunch. I'll put them on FaceBook for you."
Aunt Phyllis: "Okay, don't forget."

*insert moment of silence here*

Nana aka Carol: "...I don't see the need for all those pictures."
Aunt Phyllis: "Carol, now I KNOW I'm gonna come back there and kick your a*s!"

See what she did there?

Author's Note

I could rework this and work on the grammar some more, I know. And I will. Maybe.