Dancer of the Valley

I honestly don't really know where I was going with this poem, but I guess I did pull a bit of inspiration from the game Dark Souls. It was really fun to write and really contrasts with my other work.

Behind these torn curtains I watch in peace

As wind and mist curves over her body

I know that she longs for the sweet release

Stop dead in my tracks, thinking she saw me

Her body is paint, the stage her canvass

She makes her art, a blade I now brandish

Her dress nothing but intense gaudiness

Dancing passion, valley as audience

I make my way down, now I stand behind

The voice of my conscience screams in my mind

I bring down the blade, stamp out the embers

Somebody like me always remembers

In the valley I stand, frozen in time

I’ve taken her life and now I take mine

Author's Note

I am always looking to learn. ANY constructive criticism is accepted! Feel free to comment. Hope you enjoyed!

Reviews

[D Connolly]

I don't know Dark Souls, but I do like the poem! It takes a morbid turn at the end which is a nice touch. The beginning is somewhat sensual, and it creates a big contrast with the ending. Very nice

[ReedWrite]

I love this poem...and while I know nothing of Dark Souls, I love the ebb and flow you've created here.
The wording and descriptions are beautiful...rich with imagery...and then the ending:
In the valley I stand, frozen in time/I’ve taken her life and now I take mine
I was like, 'Noooooooo...don't take your life, too.' LOL...it just landed with a punch...and that is exactly what all writers strive to create...words that resonate with the reader. Awesome job.

[Chase Weik]

I smiled so much when I read this review. Thank you so much for taking your time to read my stuff. It means a lot to me. I really am glad that you enjoyed!

[I_Love_Anime!]

As an avid Dark Souls fan, I can relate to this poem. This boss fight has a couple beautiful cut scenes and the animations of the way she moves and dances about are extremely on par with what you wrote. The description words you used to describe her are so perfect. You can almost see has she sways about. I love the phrase you used "her body is paint, the stage her canvas". Keep up the good work!

[Chase Weik]

Thank you for taking the time to read my work. It means a lot to me and I'm glad that you enjoyed it! Thank you!

[Chris]

Death isn't to be "taken" (in any sense or definition of the word) lightly. Exploration of obsession and the depths some go towards IS a difficult thing to accept or process. In this one I "felt" both were victims and the resultant actions were a destruction of both their lives and our societal moralities. In this type of expression there IS NO like - just a hint of sadness and missed understandings - least to me.