Cheesecake

A Story by ChaseBorlain

A short YA love story.

June 11^th 2008

Mike called today. I tried to ignore the call but my fingers took over and tapped Accept Call. He wanted to meet me at the coffee house. My brain screamed “no”, but my mouth said yes. I really need to have a discussion with my body about making decisions for me. When I met up with him, it was the same old routine. He said how sorry he was for being MIA but the Army kept him really busy. By Army, I know he means all the girls who flock to his uniform. I’m not stupid but I really think he cares about me more than the others. I mean, he always comes back to me. He’s a guy and guys have needs, something I’m not willing to give him until after marriage, so I don’t mind cutting him some slack…for now. I keep hoping he’ll get it all out of his system and see how amazing we’d be together. In a year he’ll be done with his contract and I’ll have a year of college done. It’ll be a perfect start to our story. I called Jordan as soon as I left the coffee house. I think he was busy though, because he got off the phone pretty quickly. I’ll have to give him details tomorrow if I see him on campus.

Xoxo

****

6-24-08

Annabelle has spent the past couple weeks talking about how Mike is different this time and Mike this and Mike that. I know I’m supposed to be her best friend (I should mention I despise the word friend now) but I can’t stand to see her cry because of him. She’s only attached to him because he’s older. Why doesn’t she see how wrong he is for her? I respect the guy and all. He fights for his country. It’s hard not to respect him. But it doesn’t automatically make him perfect boyfriend material. And he doesn’t really care about Annabelle. If he did, he wouldn’t waste his time with other girls. I tried carefully suggesting this to Annabelle but she just waved it off. She doesn’t want to see the truth. With him around, she’ll never look at me as anything other than her “bestie for life”, as she calls me. I only started this pointless journal because I can’t tell anyone else how much I love her.

-J

****

July 7^th 2008

I went to Mike’s barracks tonight. Wait until you hear what happened! His roommates were gone; he lit candles around the room and played soft music. The takeout spaghetti was good but he had strawberries and whip cream for dessert. He must’ve forgotten I’m allergic to strawberries. Then, oh dearest and cherished diary, he told me he loves me! Can you believe it? He even said understands and respects my choice to wait. And he’s been so attentive lately. Maybe he’s finally done with other girls. I called Jordan right away! He said he was happy for me. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. The man of my dreams loves me and I have the world’s bestest friend.

Xoxo!

****

7-12-08

I’m terrified I’m going to lose her completely. She’s practically planning their wedding. It’s only a matter of time before she forgets about me.

-J

****

August 27^th 2008

I completed my first marathon today! Took me 4 hours and 26 minutes. Longer than expected but I wasn’t trying for speed. I just wanted to finish it. Mike had to go to a barbeque for his friend’s birthday. He said his friend is out of the Army soon and it was one of the last times to see the guy. Oh well, at least Jordan came. He rode his bike alongside me almost the entire way until a couple miles before the end. I thought maybe he got tired but when I crossed the finish line, I saw him standing next to mama. He held a plate with a huge slice of cheesecake smothered in raspberry sauce. I wonder if he knows it’s my absolute favorite. Mama says I should date him because he’s so good to me. I don’t think she gets that we’re just besties for life.

xoxo

****

8-28-08

Holy hell. She kissed my cheek yesterday. She was also pretty excited about the dessert I brought her. I knew she’d want to treat herself. I remember the first day her and I met in 8^th grade. She had shared a piece of her cheesecake with me said it was her favorite. Maybe I’m finally getting out of the friend zone. And maybe I can finally get her away from Mike.

-Jordan

****

September 20th 2008

I don’t what happened. Everything with Mike has been so great and then he tried to sleep with me. He said he still respects me but thought that since we love each other, it could still be special. He asked if I didn’t really love him as much as I say. Of course I love him! Maybe I should sleep with him so he knows how much he means to me. I need to ask Jordan what I should do.

Xoxo

****

9-22-08

I can’t believe she’s considering sleeping with Mike! She’s such a smart woman! Why is she making such a dumb decision? If she was really in love with him and he was really in love with her, as much as it would kill me, I’d support her decision. But that’s not the case. I can’t support her decision now, my own desires aside.

-J

****

October 9^th 2008

Well Diary, I was gonna sleep with Mike tonight. But after a lot of thinking, I couldn’t go through with it. I wouldn’t be doing it for the right reasons. I want to wait until marriage and if Mike’s not okay with that, then maybe he really isn’t the man of my dreams. I need to tell Jordan. He seemed so disappointed when I told him I was considering it. Hope he’ll be proud of my decision.

Xoxo

****

10-12-08

Annabelle has tried calling a few times but I don’t want to talk to her. I don’t want to hear about how she gave all of herself to someone who doesn’t care. Part of me wants to make sure she’s okay but I don’t know if I could handle hearing the details. As I’m sitting here clicking away on the keyboard, I realize I should probably man up and just talk to her. But it’s easier said than done. Maybe the right thing to do is just walk away and let her be happy with her life.

-J

****

November 14^th 2008

I finally did it, Diary. I left Mike. He just kept pushing and pushing. It’s like sex is the only thing he cares about. I’m a human being, not an animal during mating season. The more I think about it, the more I see how awful of a boyfriend he was. Jordan was right. Jordan is always right. I hope I see him on campus soon. I think he’s mad at me because he won’t answer my calls. I miss him.

Xoxo

****

11-21-08

Today I talked to one of the girls from my chem class. She’s almost as beautiful as Annabelle. I’ve noticed her before and finally decided to make my move. We sat in the cafeteria, since I know Annabelle never goes there, and talked for hours. Tiffany is very intelligent and it was weird not explaining all the chemistry terms to her. I liked having to explain my schoolwork to Annabelle. Even though she was probably always bored, she’d listen and ask questions. When I’m with Tiffany, I do most of the listening. It’s a nice change, I think.

-J

****

December 5^th 2008

Finals week is coming up! I have been studying like crazy. I even joined a couple study groups. It’s a lot of work but I’m so excited to be halfway done with freshman year! Oh, Mike called me today. This time my body made the smart decision and ignored it. Funny thing, it wasn’t even a hard choice. I realize now that I don’t need a boyfriend to make me happy. I’m doing just fine on my own. But there is one man I do need in my life and who make me happy. Jordan. I really do miss him so much. I hope he’s doing well. I don’t know how much longer I can go without hearing from him.

Xoxo

****

12-8-08

Finals week is here. Things with Tiffany are going great and we’ve helped each other a lot with our classes. I wonder if Annabelle is doing well on her finals. I’d call her back but I don’t want to hear about her and Mike and their wonderful life together.

-J

****

January 3^th 2009

Happy New Year, Diary! With a new year come new choices. I’ve decided I need to see Jordan and if he doesn’t want to answer my calls, I’ll hunt him down. I’ve considered showing up at his apartment, but then I’d have to deal with his roommates. Maybe I should try to find him on campus. When I told mama about him avoiding me, she I shouldn’t have taken his friendship for granted. Maybe she’s right.

Xoxo

***

1-23-09

Ran into Annabelle today. I’m almost certain our chance encounter was planned since the chemistry building doesn’t hold any classes for psych majors. Tiffany was with me and it was an all around awkward situation. I made a lame excuse about meaning to call her back but I’ve been busy and how I had to get a new phone. The phone part was true, but it took me all of 10 minutes to get a new one and recover my entire contact list. She told me she hasn’t been with Mike for awhile now. That was a big surprise. Maybe I should’ve answered her calls, but I guess it doesn’t matter now. I’m with Tiffany.

-J

****

February 12^th 2009

A couple weeks ago I went to a party with Stephanie and met her brother’s friend, Brenden. He’s tall and borders between cute and hot. He’s a little older (I guess I like ‘em older) and works as an accountant at a big firm in the city. Pretty much everything a girl hopes for. And he’s very respectful. The night I met him he asked if he could have my number and permission to call me. It was all very old fashioned but I liked it. We’ve been on a lot of dates over these past two weeks and I was getting nervous about his expectations. But tonight, when I pulled away from a kiss, (I’d like to add that this kiss was intense and my brain wanted to make different choices) he asked if he had done something wrong. I told him about how I wanted to wait until marriage. I thought he was going say how stupid it was, how no one waits for marriage anymore. But he said he admires my willingness to stick to my decision. He said everyone is entitled to make their own choices and no one should tell you otherwise. Isn’t he so amazing? I really want to tell Jordan about him. I wonder if he’ll approve. I finally talked to him and met his new girlfriend. She seems nice. A little plain, but nice.

Xoxo

****

2-13-09

Tiffany asked about sex today. She asked me how many people I’ve been with. Ever since 9^th grade when Annabelle told me she wanted to save herself for her husband, I’ve been waiting too. I thought maybe we could be each other’s firsts. I don’t know why I’m still waiting. I think it means I’m still holding on to hope that someday Annabelle and I will end up together. I need to let go of that hope, but I’m not fully ready to make the leap. For now I told Tiffany I want to wait a little longer before we take that step in our relationship. I avoided her question and didn’t tell her I was a virgin. I don’t want her trying to figure out why. There’s only so many reasons a 19 year old college guy hasn’t had sex.

-J

****

March 15^th 2009

When Brenden and I were leaving the coffee house, we ran into Jordan and Tiffany. Jordan didn’t seem himself. He was kind of cold and barely looked at me. He sure stared Brenden up and down though. I’ve told Brenden all about Jordan but after meeting him, Brenden said Jordan doesn’t seem like my best friend. Brenden’s right. Jordan acted like I’m a barely tolerable acquaintance. I’m worried about him. I hope he’s happy with Tiffany, although I’ve decided I don’t like her very much. She seems too pretentious for him. Jordan is the smartest person I know, but he doesn’t flaunt it. I can’t really find anything else wrong with Tiffany, but I just don’t like her. Oh, and she calls him “Jord”. Ew. I want to talk to him but our friendship has been pretty much non-existent lately and if I call telling him I don’t think Tiffany is right for him, I might lose him forever.

Xoxo

****

3-25-09

What a week! I have been in such a terrible mood ever since seeing Annabelle with Mr. Money Bags and I started feeling really guilty for the way I’ve been neglecting Tiffany. But then, you know what happens? Tiffany tells me she hates basketball! How does she just bring this up now when I’ve told her a thousand times that I love basketball? And I’m only on the school’s team! She refused to go to Grant’s March Madness party with me and wouldn’t even come to my game. Good thing we won or I would’ve really been in a bad mood. I can’t believe I’m dating someone who hates basketball. On a side note, I swear I saw Annabelle at the game. But when I looked again, she was gone. I wanted her to be there so badly, I probably imaged seeing her.

-J

****

April 4^th 2009

I broke up with Brenden today. Nothing in particular happened and he really is such a great guy, but something just didn’t feel right. Something was missing and I wasn’t making a real connection with him. I knew it wasn’t right to stay with him and string him along. I know how that feels and I never wish it on anyone. He just never really understood me and could never read me. I don’t know if that makes sense. I walked by a bakery earlier and saw a cheesecake in the window. It made me think of Jordan. He always gets me, even more than I understand myself. I need someone like that. I wonder if he saw me at his game. I tried hiding because I didn’t want to distract his concentration. I’m going call him tomorrow and hope he answers this time.

Xoxo

****

4-17-09

On a whim, I decided to answer Annabelle’s call the other day. She wanted to see me but I really have been busy and couldn’t meet up with her until today. I met her at the coffee house. All the old feelings slammed back into my heart. I care about Tiffany, maybe I even love her, but no one can compare to Annabelle. She seems really happy, even though she just broke things off with Mr. Money Bags. And something about her is different. It’s like she sees the world more clearly and not as a boy-crazy teen anymore. This new Annabelle would never have put up with a guy like Mike. I hope it’s not just a phase and she really had made a change. She says how much she misses our friendship and I agree with her. I use to tell her everything, well almost everything. It feels strange for her to be out of the loop. Maybe I’m going to have to settle for only ever being her friend.

-J

****

May 10^th 2009

Okay, Diary, I need help figuring out a strange situation. Something has been bothering me and I’ve tried to ignore it but I can’t. I’m scared of what it might mean. There was a feeling when I met up with Jordan last month. It’s like I was looking at him with different eyes and a different brain. Why had I ever doubted any of his advice? He tried to warn my about Mike and I didn’t listen. I know I’ll never put up with that kind of treatment again. But Jordan has always treated me better than any boyfriend. And he gets me. He’s texted me a couple times but my stomach starts to do weird things and I can’t get myself to reply back. My body hates me. Or it’s trying to tell me something.

****

5-26-09

I’ve had it! Here I am thinking Annabelle has changed and I’m made the fool. She’s been ignoring my texts and hasn’t tried calling me at all. She had her “bestie” fill and will only come back when the next failed relationship crisis ruins her life. I think it’s time I finally sleep with Tiffany and sever my heart’s tie to Annabelle once and for all.

-J

****

June 2^nd 2009

I am in love with Jordan. There. I admitted it. I’ve been trying to deny it and I don’t know why. He’s always been the right choice, right smack in front of my face the whole time. I’m an idiot for being so blind. There’s just one problem, well two. First, I don’t deserve him. I’ve taken his friendship for granted and haven’t appreciated how amazing he is. The second, and biggest, problem is that he probably only thinks of me as his silly boy-crazy friend who always rants about her problems. I want to tell him how I feel but I’m so scared he’s just going to reject me. Mama said she knew it all along and had faith I’d eventually make the right decision. I need to get the courage to tell him because I know the way I feel is the real deal. He’s not just another guy. He’s THE guy. Oh, and then there’s Tiffany…

6-11-09

I never thought it would end like this. It started when I broke up with Tiffany a few days ago. I finally decided I couldn’t continue my life without at least trying to get the one person I desire more than anything. Annabelle is worth that risk. I called her up, instead of my usual texts, and almost threw up when she answered. I asked if she’d meet me at the coffee house. She said she needed to talk to me anyway. I had this whole speech planned out in my head, but she never got to hear any of it. I got to the coffee house an hour early and waited. When she finally walked around the corner, stunning in a yellow sun dress, I couldn’t help myself. I just pulled her into my arms and kissed her beautiful lips. And the most wonderful thing happened: she pulled me closer and kissed me back. At that moment I knew no words were needed. We knew each other well enough to see what was in the other’s eyes. I need to tell her that I’ve been waiting for her, just like she’s been saving herself for her future husband. I feel like any minute I’m going to wake up from this wonderful dream.

-Her Jordan

****

June 11^th 2012

I know it’s been a very long time since I wrote to you, my ever loyal Diary. But I turned to you when I needed to vent and I’ve had nothing to complain about for quite awhile. I still don’t now but I have some time before I have to get ready and thought I’d take a moment alone. This morning, when I woke up next to Stephanie, she asked if I was nervous. I didn’t have to think about my answer. I’m not even the slightest bit nervous. After 9 years of ups and downs, I’m marrying my best friend for life. How could there be any doubt in my mind? And do you know what I’m most excited for tonight? (Well besides marrying the real man of my dreams and finally…you know) The cake we are going to cut and feed to each other. A raspberry sauce covered cheesecake.

Xoxo, His Annabelle