Dying to Live

Exactly as the title says...

"Learn to think before you speak, dear"

"You need tact"

"Ask the Lord to bridle your tongue"

"Your tongue is going to get you in trouble"

"You need to address your movements"

"Your attitude is that thorn in your side"

"You're so complicated"

...

And to all that...one may agree,

If, on the surface, they know me,

But..at the core I'm curled up in a ball, you see,

I've allowed my hurt to rule me, so my words burn at exorbitant degrees.

They're the type of words that simmer on your skin,

And burn through to prick you within,

Based on the waste that comes from being born in sin,

Bamboozled by the enemy's tactics and fang-riddled grin.

You see...all this time I've chosen to live,

Live in me...and press on in 'faith' yet deal with my own grief,

Not fully surrendering to the Almighty in my beliefs,

Finding it harder and harder to forgive.

Cursing those who've wronged me...hoping to pass off 'subtle sins'...proclaiming my perpetual innocence,

Not even examining that I needed recompense,

Indulging in my own selfish desires, engulfed in flames of reticence,

Realizing now, that toward my walk there was pure negligence.

But God is faithful and just in all His ways,

Death is what I deserve...but thank God for His grace..

So indeed I choose to die...die in trying to run the current race,

Die to Him so His way, in my eyes, won't decay.

You see, without Him, I'm nothing...with a void that can't be filled,

With 'me' living this way, I give too much reign to sin,

Led by arrogance..by confusion..by strife...all eager to win,

Win my soul for eternity in hell...oh what joy the enemy would bask in.

But now...I proclaim that I am dying TO live...

Have a fulfilling life in Him,

Living through my purpose in God's grand scheme,

Laying myself in front of Him...a living sacrifice..the thanks I give.

I'm dying to self so He can truly have His way with me,

I release to Him my heart, my mind, my soul, and body,

Revive me, oh Lord...for You, revive me

I'm choosing to die to live...carry out Your mighty plan..use me.

Author's Note

Breakthrough.