36

Number 36 of The Knockout

What you need is a pet
You know?
Something you can take advantage of and ultimately control the life and death cycle
I suggest snails
You collect the snails though
It is a waste of money buying one of those fancy snails they sell in the aquarium if you are going to kill it as you see fit but whatever
Point is just get a fishbowl
One of those old school round ones with a mesh top or not
That could make things a lot more fun
Slugs would work too I guess
I’m just preaching being cost effective right now and admittedly you would feel a lot more terrible if you killed a Bunny rabbit or even a fish
Not that I do
Not have complete faith in you but you can get angry sometimes
I don’t know what your remorse level would be after pouring salt over the back of your pet and watching it dissolve into ooze
I know it would probably only take one to know that it wasn’t
I don’t know
I cried like a baby when I had to put down my cat and his name was Puss
That is the most generic thing you could think of
Go with snails
You will be so gratified
I know they don’t do tricks or anything but they have personalities
They are just slow
Plus you can paint their shells with nail polish
I bet you will really like that
Just remember no sunflower seeds if they are salted and no beer