20 or Well

Number 20 from The Knockouts

I have felt incredibly capable
It is f*****g terrifying
I would say I was afraid
But
That’s not really how things work now is it?
I am spinning wheels
I haven’t left anything behind which is probably the best thing I could do for the environment
It is kind of sad when I consider that I’m probably not going to do anything with my life
Well
My mind is out pacing me
A couple days ago I had a dream I was playing football again
I was playing for the coach that finally cut me off
I don’t have the desire to play sports anymore
But
I have these dreams once in a while
There are a few things that hint at something deeper
I mean
How many football stadiums have baseball diamonds?
I guess there is Oakland
Which makes sense
I have been California dreaming since I left
Good thoughts and bad thoughts
The end of the world
I guess it is not the end of the world
More of the end of me
I have friends that won’t talk to me anymore
I won’t talk to some of my friends ever again I guess barring the latter
I still don’t think I’ll talk to them
I’m fairly firm
But
You never know
But it’s not the
Type it out
Because if it is the end of the world there are a few things I would miss
I’m getting sentimental
I apologize
It’s an overarching theme in a lot of my work
Call it hero worship
I don’t have a lot of heroes
When I was little, I wanted to be Nightcrawler from the X-men
He wasn’t really my hero though
More of an escape
If you could be anywhere in the world
Right?
I don’t think I would even mind the blue skin or the tail
That whole being stared at thing
I mean
I could just disappear