CREEP

My car was running on fumes, empty from a long drive.
I met him at the BP, where he was buying matches.
A fine mess of a man....cute and charming with a gentleman's voice.

What a distraction he was...little did I know,
there was a delusional creep lingering within
his handsome facade.
He offered me a stick of gum while we waited in line,
and I accepted it, ignoring the signs....

My gut was flipping inside-out, questioning the
matches in his hand...
He told me it was for his girl... she did him wrong.
"The b***h deserves it...no second chances."

I asked him what she did to deserve such harsh words.
He told me she couldn't be trusted...(that's what the voice
in his head told him.) Then he bent down to whisper in my ear,
"Would you like to meet her...she's in my trunk?"

Chills crept up my spine when he smiled at me...
and with his subtle gesture, I knew that I was next....

 

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Layla J Omorose]

This was really good, short and gripping. well written and had a smooth flow. Good work

[Quill~]

:) thank you Layla!

[Leigh]

Get out of that car quick and run for it, I am drawn in already

[Quill~]

:) thank you leighgreen!

[Leigh]

My pleasure Q

[BL]

Very disturbing, you have set the scene well, but this deserves a continuation I think

[Quill~]

:) I hope to write a continuation soon...thanks Bluely!

[Archangel Gabriel]

This is a very nice write Quill. I enjoyed the story as it told a tale well in few words. Scary eh?

[Quill~]

:) very scary... thanks Archangel!

[sounds of shadows]

... very creepy moment - I trust that in the next moment, the star of the piece shows off her wicked ninja skills, kicks holes through him, and saves the girl in the trunk, herself, and the day.

(Perhaps followed by those magical words "So, is there *any* way I can thank you properly ....?" Wait ... I think this part was in a movie I saw one time ... Okay, maybe I saw it twice.)

[Quill~]

:) ha ha! you will have to tell me more about it when I get back!...sounds like a bad a*s movie/story!
thank you muchly S! will catch (and read) ya later...

[quinfinn]

time to kick the tires and light the fires, and get the hell out of Dodge! wow, what a creepy encounter...i am hoping this girl knows her martial arts....or packs a Desert Eagle magnum!

[Quill~]

she needs to get one, that's for sure!
thank you muchly...you are the king of sting! ;)

[quinfinn]

omg! you posted Radiohead! anyone else would have chosen "creep" but you opted out....awesome!

[Quill~]

I love "creep"...but, this calls for something more... a Paranoia of sorts. ;D

[quinfinn]

too cool! a great choice.....

[Quill~]

thanks again Quin... I gotta go...will catch ya soon! *hugs*

[quinfinn]

xoxoxo

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Intrigued...excellent read and write.

[Quill~]

:) Brandon, your kinds words put a smile on my face. thanks!

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Look forward to see what happens next. My pleasure, Quill

[Quill~]

we'll see.... thankies! :)

[SyberRose]

Now this is really a different one...great imagination Quill...Enjoyed...Rose:)

[Quill~]

:) Rose, thank you!...glad you enjoyed!

[Jack...]

Ok, I don't know which was creepier, the guy or this poem. I did not see that coming at all. very cool Quill. This one definitely opened my eyes.

P.S. when I was in high school I worked at a BP station.

[Quill~]

oh the guy!...no question! lol

thank you Jack!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A nice short but dramatic piece with plenty of flavour penned across the page.

[Quill~]

:) thanks John!