CREEP

My car was running on fumes, empty from a long drive.
I met him at the BP, where he was buying matches.
A fine mess of a man....cute and charming with a gentleman's voice.

What a distraction he was...little did I know,
there was a delusional creep lingering within
his handsome facade.
He offered me a stick of gum while we waited in line,
and I accepted it, ignoring the signs....

My gut was flipping inside-out, questioning the
matches in his hand...
He told me it was for his girl... she did him wrong.
"The b***h deserves it...no second chances."

I asked him what she did to deserve such harsh words.
He told me she couldn't be trusted...(that's what the voice
in his head told him.) Then he bent down to whisper in my ear,
"Would you like to meet her...she's in my trunk?"

Chills crept up my spine when he smiled at me...
and with his subtle gesture, I knew that I was next....

 

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

Damn it, listen I was joking that day at the Gas Station "nO hE wAsNt" shut up get out of my head, listen do you want to see my cabin in the woods 200 miles from the nearest breathing human or not?

[Quill~]

yeah sure... NOT! lol
your voice is getting louder... I can hear him! eerie!
:) thanks for your fun response. *he he*

[xxlheart]

feels like Dr. Seuss meets Alfred Hitchcock. Very unique and very well written!

[Quill~]

:) thank you! I was in a bad mood at the time. lol

[xxlheart]

lol well I well certain that you weren't in a um spirited mood

[Quill~]

you are correct.... this was an easy one to spill out. lol

[xxlheart]

lol....glad we are friends

[Quill~]

yep! muahahahahaha!

[xxlheart]

could you be a bit more careful, you just kissed my um eye ~L~

[Quill~]

LOL you're cute! :))

[xxlheart]

darling, cute ain't a fair description of me but I am flattered by it anyway

[Quill~]

stop that, your being silly! ;P

[xxlheart]

yeppers, PSS my wife calls it (pre sleep sillies but I prefer pre sleep stupids) ~L~

[Quill~]

that's most husbands...oops! did I just write that out loud??! LOL ;D

[xxlheart]

ROTFL....well I can't deny that but tell the other husbands because they will revoke my membership

[xxlheart]

which would be a bad thing (have to say that)

[Quill~]

oh I'm sure they're dealing with their own card. ;)

[Quill~]

testing..testing... 1, 2, 3,...can anyone else hear me?

[Quill~]

I hope not.....

[xxlheart]

oh that's cute, dealing with cards very cute. but don't joke about the husband club it is all that keeps us sane when dealing with you ladies ~L~

[xxlheart]

okay this is starting to get weird or weirder ~L~ the messages are scrambled which makes it even more confusing than it was ~L~

[Quill~]

well ain't that a shame!... we ladies are more resourceful than that... after all, we wear the stilettos. :P

[Quill~]

I KNOW!>>> it just skipped a response...over each other!

[xxlheart]

btw, you can count to 3....wow very impressive, I lose track after 2 (okay 1)

[Quill~]

is that a pointed joke? not funny dude! :P

[Quill~]

I soooooooo can count to 10! :D

[xxlheart]

LMBO ten really? without the fingers??

[xxlheart]

this place is still acting weird!

[Quill~]

are you sure it's this place?...
I tease.. *batting eyelashes*

[xxlheart]

I do love me a good woman in stilettos :)

[xxlheart]

well that is what I am going with dear, otherwise you will have to admit I am stupid

[xxlheart]

which will then lend credence to my argument of not being a very good writer

[xxlheart]

and therefor I shall finally win a disagreement with you

[xxlheart]

so yeah it is this place ~LOL~

[Quill~]

your fast!... can't keep up... brain..needs...food.... ugh....

[Quill~]

*you are fast* typo :P

[xxlheart]

you just call me a s**t??

[xxlheart]

or whatever the man word for that is ~L~

[Quill~]

d****e

[Quill~]

not you though... LOL

[xxlheart]

ROTF you just called me a d****e ???

[xxlheart]

not you though...um not you would have seemed better the though makes it a little shaky mom ~L~

[Quill~]

*he he*... I'm innocent!

[xxlheart]

um I believe you need a new account to play the innocent card :)

[xxlheart]

and seriously don't correct typos on review comments you nerd ~L~

[Quill~]

I am a nerd... big time... and I think nerds are cool! So there!

a new account? (what a brilliant idea) :D

[xxlheart]

LOL um, no not really it just helps the economy letting them think so. hey you can open an account and call it Bruce. something different ~L~

[Quill~]

how does that work?...do I get to grab my crotch and spew profanity?

[xxlheart]

and that differs from you now how??

[Quill~]

OH SNAP!!!

[Quill~]

YOU ARSEhole! :P

[xxlheart]

~LOL~ yes, yes Bruce i am

[Quill~]

I knew it!... you never fooled me. ;)

[B-poet]

I loved how creepy this felt after reading it. You should start a short novel series with the plot development you've got going here. Great work. An intriguing write and read. :)

[Quill~]

:) thank you Bpoet!..i'll have to see what develops.

[David Scott]

I was captivated in the first line. I enjoyed the fullness of the story with so few words wasted. I am very impressed with the skill of your story telling here.

[Quill~]

:) thank you David! I appreciate it, means a lot.

[Sirius King]

wow...i wanna know what happens next

[Quill~]

something gory...I think. lol
:) thank you SR!

[Sirius King]

sounds fun ;-)

[Quill~]

it is! :)

[Sirius King]

ha!

[Quill~]

now that I've read yours, i'm a little intimidated! lol

[Sirius King]

lol dont be...that was my first try at something that dark

you've got a really great start here...you can go anywhere with it...cant wait to see what you come up with!

[Quill~]

thanks.. wish me luck! lol
your first try is dope! :)

[Sirius King]

no luck need, you have talent!


thanks! :-)

[Sirius King]

*Needed

[Quill~]

gotcha... i'm a typo queen! lol

[Sirius King]

lol

[Baby Ricochet]

That is a creepy story. Good job

[Quill~]

:) thanks BR!

[Frieda P]

O.O Oy creepy! Ha, muchly enjoyed your crazy escapade here....is there a sequel?

[Quill~]

:) thanks Frieda, I think so!...stay tuned.

[Frieda P]

I certainly will, but I'm scared, don't want you to end up in the trunk! ;-)

[Quill~]

:) neither do I!...plus, it's already crowded in there. lol

[Frieda P]

True probably doesn't smell so hot either ;-P

[Quill~]

ewwww no it doesn't...pretty stuffy actually! ;D

[Frieda P]

I hope you have a cute pink revolver stuck in your pretty posy pocketbook for just such creeps. ha

[Quill~]

nope... need to get one, now! lol

[Frieda P]

Sounds like a plan! Lol ;-)

[Quill~]

I need to figure out how to use it! lol

[Frieda P]

You just say 'smile' to the creep and pull the trigger. ;-)

[Mark]

*gulp* Succinct and powerful. You painted just enough to scare, and to keep me interested. Well done work.

[Quill~]

:) thank you muchly Mark!

[Shaun Payton]

That would be a creep indeed. There is too much violence against women, and many creeps. This was a "hey lady get the hell outta there" least thats what i said to my screen.

[Quill~]

:) I know, right?... I'd be gone. lol
thanks Shaun!

[Shaun Payton]

Lol heck yeah seeya laters lol You are welcome Quill.

[Peter H]

i would have halled a*s out of their or i would have called the police or alerted someone , riveting write

[Quill~]

:) that's what I'd do...thanks Peter!