I've been reading more of your pieces and really admire how you balance sensuality and other genuine human emotions. The sensual elements are great but made more powerful by the other emotional insights.
This made me grin and reminded me, interestingly enough, about the Bible. One area speaks of the Nephilim, the children that resulted of the union between the 'sons of God' and the 'daughters of man'. A popular theory states that the sons of God were angels.
It's a pretty poem, but at the end, it strikes me as...limiting and full of self-sabotage on the part of the narrator. She longs for pleasure that can only be found in dreams or the arms of someone that is not mortal, someone she, in all probability, will never meet. Thus, she can never be happy with a 'mere' man. It reminds me of one too many tales I've heard of women, girls really, that left their significant others not because of any problem that was going on, but because their partner didn't compare to their fantasy of a perfect man.
Please don't take this as a criticism of the poem itself. It is merely an opinion on the subject matter. I also understand that the problem isn't confined to women. Just, it irks me to hear or see someone ignoring what is right in front of them in favor of some fantasy ideal they'll never acquire.
It is a nice poem, though, one that is well written.
-Caradoc
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
:) thank you Caradoc...I find your thoughts intriguing...
you overwhelm me (in a good way)... .. read more:) thank you Caradoc...I find your thoughts intriguing...
you overwhelm me (in a good way)... never hold back your opinions, you are honest and I respect that.
At this moment I'm feeling fairly proud that I don't strive to be mere mortal man...however, I wish I dreamt because one would sooner or later sound this good.
I grew up a romantic, often carrying Walter Benton's "This is my Beloved" with me to my
every high school class. I learned to recite each line, and if I close my eyes and listen to
my inner ear, your final stanza reads like, and sounds like a continuation of that wonderful
book of poetry. What a wonderful treatment of morning love..
~"No mortal man could
bestow this kind of magic
to leave a dripping trail
of white washed dreams
in wanton beads of morning dew..."~
~niiice-a very sleek and silky write~very kool-i love!~
'Naked...blushing all over down to my anxious thighs'...sorry I had to quote this...just stood out to me...the whole poem is such a sensual and tender write...beautiful display of emotive passion.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
:) merci beaucoup!!
11 Years Ago
De rein, Mademoiselle...comment ca va?
11 Years Ago
Je suis bien et vous?
11 Years Ago
Oui, ca va bien. :)
Still want to go to that island? :)
11 Years Ago
absolutely. :)
11 Years Ago
I'm sending my magic carpet. :)
You never told me how you learned French.
11 Years Ago
My best friend. :)
11 Years Ago
Cool. He's French?
11 Years Ago
VERY. :) ********
11 Years Ago
That's so cool...did you meet him in France?
11 Years Ago
sorry, I'm actually talking to him right now! lol
11 Years Ago
He says "quoi de neuf" :)
11 Years Ago
Bonjour! :)
11 Years Ago
Ah I see...hey if you can please give pointers...I would greatly appreciate it with your experience... read moreAh I see...hey if you can please give pointers...I would greatly appreciate it with your experience...I'm an eager learner. :)
11 Years Ago
Bonjour Monsieur :)
11 Years Ago
cool...message me anytime... my bestfriend is cool with it too...
He promises not to get jeal.. read morecool...message me anytime... my bestfriend is cool with it too...
He promises not to get jealous... "isn't that right Pierre?" Ha ha :))
11 Years Ago
his response is "Surement pas!!" lmao!
11 Years Ago
I'm not the jealous type either...it comes with experience...I really wanted to ask you that the oth.. read moreI'm not the jealous type either...it comes with experience...I really wanted to ask you that the other night...sure ill pm you for practice, if you don't mind...I wanted brush up on it. :)
11 Years Ago
Tres bien...merci beaucoup, Monsieur. :)
11 Years Ago
ha ha
he says, "vous etes les bienvenus". :)
anytime, Everett!
read moreha ha
he says, "vous etes les bienvenus". :)
anytime, Everett!
and thank you!
11 Years Ago
Very cool...so French...sorry, the culture does have a strong influence on me since high school...to.. read moreVery cool...so French...sorry, the culture does have a strong influence on me since high school...too bad, I never followed up, due to life circumstances...I do apply French aesthetics in my writing. :)
11 Years Ago
Will do...Au revoir, Madame et Monsieur. :)
11 Years Ago
You should, you are already ahead. :)
11 Years Ago
Merc beaucoup, Madame.
11 Years Ago
merci bien, mon ami.
11 Years Ago
Nice...I flex your French...makes me think outside the box more. :)
11 Years Ago
Sheesh...spellchecks sorry, I like how you flex your french.
11 Years Ago
ha ha... that's cool... thanks.
You too. :)
11 Years Ago
That's what happen to me the other times...I'm typing fast with one finger on an iPhone...and I'm mu.. read moreThat's what happen to me the other times...I'm typing fast with one finger on an iPhone...and I'm multi tasking other things. So it was so cool to practice from memory. :)
11 Years Ago
you're talented to do that. :D
11 Years Ago
Awe thank you...so no translator...if I did, I wouldn't have gotten stuck lol I hope to read more of.. read moreAwe thank you...so no translator...if I did, I wouldn't have gotten stuck lol I hope to read more of your artful words, Madame. ;)
11 Years Ago
thanks... I will be reading you soon, promise.
I'm in the middle of a few writes. :)
You.. read morethanks... I will be reading you soon, promise.
I'm in the middle of a few writes. :)
You are so sweet to notice my work. very appreciated friend!
11 Years Ago
I don't force reviews on my writing...I keep organic...I believe in free will. However, I greatly ap.. read moreI don't force reviews on my writing...I keep organic...I believe in free will. However, I greatly appreciate your consideration. :)
will be by tomorrow, then... :)
I'm going to sleep now...profiter de votre nuit!
and tha.. read morewill be by tomorrow, then... :)
I'm going to sleep now...profiter de votre nuit!
and thank you.
erotically divine once again very lyrical im not immortal but i enjoy writing sincerely too in a VERY different way, if you want, i think you might like this one, let me know http://foemeno.hubpages.com/hub/Compete-or-be-dismissed
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
:) thanks...glad you enjoyed!...I'll check it out.
11 Years Ago
:) read "Compete or to be dismissed"...it's good! I like the "Kung-fu" analogy.
I'm a romantic at heart, here to express myself through my work...I write for me. I welcome others to read. I look forward to learning and sharing thoughts, through poetry and stories. :)
Quill~
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