The Power of Defeat

A poem about a woman who finds her loved one dead, and forever searches for his murderer.

The metallic smell of death,

hung heavy in the air.

I wanted to turn and flee,

escape from this despair.

But something held be back,

something dark than the night.

For it left me here to endure the aftermath of this fight...

The bloodstained bricks and the body littered floor,

filled me with terror louder than a lions roar.

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse,

I saw a familiar face lying still in the dirt.

I sank to my weary knees stifling a cry,

for the last time we spoke we never said good-by.

Then anger pulsed through my veins,

turing my world red.

I stood and said I would not rest until your killer was dead.

Author's Note

I wrote this when I was 13 and recited it for the class, it made my English teacher cry and I was wondering what other people though :) thanks for reading

Reviews

[halflives]

Wow. Powerful words in speech. As for your first work on here, I'd say it will establish a nice place for you. It describes a way of death inside a poem. That's quite hard to do. I'm sure this took you quite a while to come up with. If it took you shorter than a day to entice this from those talented fingetips of yours, I'd say you were a writer with a mission. Though a little editting and beta wouldn't hurt, and I wouldn't say that it's PERFECT (as nothing is), I like this. I like this a lot.