Unrequited Love

This was actually intended to be a song but, as I have no musical ability whatsoever, it became a poem.

Unrequited Love,

Do you know my name?

In my eyes you are flawless

I am drawn into your pain

Let me be the torch of light

Guiding you through your darkest night

Let my face be what you see

As you bathe yourself in misery

Decadent angel

Sweet tortured soul

A gleaned bit of onyx

Wrapped in my folds

Let me save you from this fight

And dissolve into the night

Existing as traces of ecstasy

Let me live on in your memory

Drawn into reality it would not last

Let our love exist only through rose tinted glass

And bask in the radiance from above…

Let me be your unrequited love

Reviews

[Emily]

This is a really well done piece. I'm not usually one for rhyme, but over and over I'm shown examples which are not forced and where the rhyme scheme and the word choice are very well done. This is a sterling example of that.
This has a song like melody to it as you read, it almost weaves itself from the writer to the reader, as though the reader an feel the notes and words flowing between the two you've written about.

Nice work!

[Seshat Nidaba]

You found a way to form an impersonal relationship with unrequited love? That is a most formidable accomplishment! Ah what we would do, for the beauty of an ideal!

[Kyle]

this is beautifully written about such an incredibly important topic that we all face in life at some point...

Great job!

[Crowley]

Wonderful, I like the the question in the second line, very revealing as to frame of mind I think. Great emotion and description. Loved this.

[Everett DeValle]

Beautiful work...I truly enjoyed reading.

[.]

enchanting..I think it's much better as a poem..

[DiMar4u]

this one caught me by surprise,
it invoked an emotional vulnerability
i did not forsee....
thankz 4 that.

[KimLott]

Nicely written and i luv luv luv the twisted perspective and the last line. Keep writing, keep reviewing ;).

[Antonio Valentino]

Charlotte, what a wonderful expression of love. It is in the air methinks. This was fantastic, I'm glad I got to read it. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Antonio

[Cari Lynn Vaughn]

Wonderful wording, beautifully descriptive. Very well done. I love the twist on traditional theme!