80 Below

I can’t stop-

While words tumble and smash into one another

I try to stay an iceberg

20% above water, 80% below the surface

Transference of emotion onto white

Stark paper and graphite hieroglyphs

Did we get to the mindset of-

Pay attention here;

Can a building have moral opinions

Not every one person can be a nurse, gas station owner, and a saint

Have you been to the demonstration?

 

Hello, hello

Predators are you there?

The death of birth….

Hello! Hello!

This is the U.S. of Capital

The buildings are happy in the park

Watch for the over drafts

Sly tricksters remain

Outfoxing one another in regulation

While the suffers lead our country to peace

 

Reviews

[Avoiry]

I like the versing and the choice of words and the brash intruding of , pay attention, hello hello. It makes it stand out and it gives it a almost mind tumbling effect. * " Can a building have moral opinions " I really love that , i can't put my finger on it but it inspires me none the less. Nice work

[Sasha]

Though numbers are scary, I really liked the start. I got it - you're trying to hide while the words go nuts around you. Maybe the 20% sticking out above the surface wanted to see it happen. Maybe I'm reading too much into things.
Anyway, it got really random and nuts after that. I liked the lines "mindset...here" and how they kinda contradicted themselves. It's a little loopy (even for me) but I liked it. :)