Edge (50 words)

This was an option in a contest on another site. The aim is write something in 50 words.

Two steps.

And I’m at the edge.

A sharp inhale of salty air, smelling as it strokes my cheeks, my hair lashing across my face, like branches in a storm. My heart a drum beat, blood pumping in my ears. My eyes wide open, blink, pupils dilate.

Ready to jump.
 

Author's Note

The aim of this was to attempt to write something meaningful with imagery in under 50 words.
Please let me know how I have done with this task.
I would encourage anyone to have a go at this - its difficult - but really makes you think and create something really beautiful.

Reviews

[Robyn]

You've done a wonderful job of creating a vivd scene in a mere fifty words, that is no easy feat. "A sharp inhale of salty air, smelling as it strokes my cheeks..." is my favourite line, great alliteration, very appealing to the senses. I like how you formatted it too, suits the topic, good luck with the contest.

[miSS LEaf]

sharp images created from so few words, well done :)

[Trée]

Wonderfully powerful. You paint such an evocative picture in only fifty words but I can feel the salt on my lips and the rain in my face, the darkness below and a chill off the open water. I imagine a porcelain white face and midnight black hair, glossy wet slapping face like petulant snakes. See how your writing stirs the imagination? A sign of a great job.

[emmajoy]

This is great! I've read it three times... have such a picture in my mind now.

,' my hair lashing across my face, like branches in a storm.' - how true that is, it happens, vicious wind.

Congratulations in creating so much in so few words.

[Drifting Blue]

You leave the reader in suspense. Is she Icarus or a suicide. Very good abstraction. It lets the reader make a choice. Very well done.

[Emily_.]

You have definetly acheived this task. I love this and the imagery is brilliant. I don't know if the taste of salt can be classed as imagery but I definetly felt that.

[Jordan]

Wow, that was simply astounding, and amazing use of imagery in just 50 words for a story.
It almost has a poetic feel to it, in my opinion of course. And, as usual, this is just another great work for you.
It's always good to make things for contests. I think I may try at this one, even though I don't really write stories that often. Of course, I sometimes just get to lazy or something to do a story, even a short one.
The comparison between your hair lashing across your face like branches in a storm is simply wonderful and amazing.
You never seem to surprise me with any of your works that you do, I hope you know that, for they are simply wonderful and amazing. You have a gift for imprinting imagery into your works of Literature, and I can't wait to read more and more of your writing.
For now, however, I bid thee adieu!

[charlotte talley]

this was good, you were very descriptive in your 50 words, I only wish I could do this in 50 words.

[Barries Girl]

That was as breath taking as standing up there waiting to jump must feel.
Great stuff

[The Outlaws' Song]

You've done a great job with this task -- the use of imagery is great!!

Thanks for bringing this suggestion to my attention. I'm sure it's a hard task to write something meaningful in less than 50 words but you've done a brilliant job.

Also, thanks for stopping by my page - it's very nice having the chance to read your creations.

Looking forward to reading more of your work.