Tenderness

This was written for a contest-that required a piece which was seven words long! I found this oth challenging and inspiring. Unfortunately I only found the competition a day before the finish date! Any constructive criticism welcome!

Breath mingles,

Lips brush,

Hands touch.

Author's Note

Any comments welcome provided they are constructive.

Reviews

[Type0]

I know you were bound by the limited word count, but I feel that it's really brought out the feel of the poem here.

Since you've collected three phrases, each featuring just a noun and a verb, it suggests that we are really looking at a snapshot of the experience. This suggests an extended possibility of the moment, and causes me to visualise the few specific parts that you've drawn my attention towards.

The image you provide is just lovely. It's absolutely beautiful and so pure. The only thing I would have done differently is to replace the commas with full-stops. But that's just me. Your use of the comma adds a slight time-frame to the image, giving a sense of a progression within the image that you've shown.

I really like this one. I wish you the best of luck in the contest, my dear!

x

[Dusky]

Thanks for the review! I'm returning the favor.
Wow I never knew you could do so much in only six words. Your poem is an example as to what the right words in the right place can do. You've well and truly managed to capture the feeling of tenderness. It makes me feel all gooey inside.

[The Outlaws' Song]

WOW!!! I never manage to be so short and incorporate an eloquent message!!! This is absolutely...wow!!!!

Your poem carries, inspires and was written with a lot of tenderness:)

[Jordan]

6-words, just wow. I never could have imagined that such a beautiful picture could be portrayed with just six words. And the noun-verb combination you made wow simply astounding. I love your work, and am eager to read more!

[Russianbeauty]

i like this. gives me tingles and such

[Barries Girl]

Wow, im not sure i could have done the subject that much justice with so few words.

Well done you

[SM Davis]

this is wonderful. Thank you so much for your submission! I like the softness of the imagery here, and so well done in such a short space.

[Billy]

I've never experienced love myself, but reading your poem makes me think I have.
Well done.