loving you

laying here, boken hearted,
as it seems.
tears begin to fall, the words in my head,
they itch to scream.

i cannot be more sorry
than i am today.
do you hear the words, the ones
i'm dying to say?

i wish, more than anything in the world,
to understand.
to get how i hurt you, so that behavior
is banned.

i'd give anything, anything
to not feel.
to be numb, to lock up my emotions,
end it with a seal.

more than that, i'd do anything
to fix it.
heal what i broke, to our friendship,
recommit.

to say i love you more than life itself,
may be an exaggeration.
but it isn't to say that it was nothing more
than a false apparition.

so for now, i guess i wait, until you know
i love you fully.
in my mind and in my heart,
forever and truly.