CRESCENT MOON

A space in time just before sleeping.

 

Were you aware?

While you slept?

 

My finger lightly traced your jaw line,

and along that soft edge of you

I felt both your firm resolve

and gentle compassion.

 

Were you aware?

While you slept?

 

That I nuzzled your ear and

whispered the most quiet of whispers

ever whispered, thanking you for rose petals

on the floor, tea mugs for two, bottomless steak-fries,

dog mountain, nautical nellies, half dome, murphys, and hanging in the air, for sticks turned blue,

and for swans and hamburgers in paradise, too.

 

Were you aware?

While you slept?

 

The slight, excited tremble of my body as

I slipped my hand into yours, falling

asleep against the crescent moon of you.

 

While you slept,

were you aware?

Reviews

[emmajoy]

How to comment about such sensitive words, such loving words! You've used them to describe an emotion that's virtually undescribable by most people: the closeness, the emotion of loving someone day by day by day.

Yes, that's what I mean.. there's longevity in this piece, either what's been or what's to come, such is the warmth and depth of your relationship.

'Falling asleep against the crescent moon of you' - a perfect line. Beautiful.

[Babbette Francis]

This was absolutely beautiful. They say women are more sensitive then men, but I'm not so sure. Its the men, not women that write some of the most heartfelt poetry I've ever read. And this is no exception. Beautiful!!

[Kelly Scheppers]

My dear Charles, I truly adore this poem!

"Were you aware?
While you slept?
The slight, excited tremble of my body as
I slipped my hand into yours, falling
asleep against the crescent moon of you."

How extraordinary this reads...it's going in my faves!!

Did I say "Wow..."?

; )
Kelly

[Stacy A. Foster]

Nice work Charles!

Loving and passionate... and I agree that the repetition works well in this. If she isn't aware you should tell her. Sounds like this is someone distant whom the writer would like to have closer.

Cheers,
Stacy

There was good form, and the repetition of the two lines brought good emphasis. The message was well imparted and the picture magnificently painted. An enjoyable read.