Last Chance

And it was at that time that I thought about Benjamin Franklin writing that Declaration of Independance. Him saying that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I thought about how he knew to put the 'pursuit' in there, like no one can actually have happiness. We can only pursue it.




Lately I've been at a struggle against myself, and my feelings. It's like everyday I wake up on one side of the bed, and every night I go to sleep on the other. It's an emotional marathon, but it's like when you get to the point to pass the batton, you just stand there. Because, the person you need to finish the race isn't there. And, you can't go any further by yourself.


Well, while I was watching The Pursuit Of Happiness, I did a lot of thinking. That maybe happiness isn't something that just comes and goes when it wants to, but that it's something you pursue. Maybe happiness is something we over look. I constantly find myself picking out things wrong with my life, rather than the things that aren't wrong. Is it just that as humans we put the bad over good? If something has 10 good things, yet one fault, it is automatically classified as a bad thing.

What is our society getting at?
Have I done something bad to earn all of this waiting? And, also the insecurities that the everything I'm waiting for might actually turn out to be nothing at all? I've done my best at everything I could. I know there is somethings I need work on, but I try. Don't you also think that if two people care enough about each other, that they should be together? In some way or form? Well, maybe I'm just preaching to an empty congregation. I'd just like some answers...About maybe love, and life. Or how the two of those intertwine to make something incredible, and also pull apart and make something hell. I guess now I realize that happiness isn't about having a boyfriend, or cool friends. I mean, I admit. Having a boyfriend definatly makes me happy, but it's not the key to survival. I think this is where God comes in. He is my key to survival; my happiness. And, for the longest time, I didn't see that. Now I'm still working on getting that idea branded into my mind, but I am definatly seeing things differently. Now everything is different, and will continue to become different. I am different, life is different. Maybe, it's the fact that everything is constantly changing all the time that eats away at me. People change, situations change, and most importantly feelings change. No matter how much it hurts, it happens. I guess I just have to be strong and accept that waiting is all I can do right now. At least until I figure some things out.





It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson, the declaration of independence, and our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and I remember thinking; how did he know to put the pursuit part in there. That maybe happiness is something we can only pursue, and maybe actually we can never have it, no matter what.

How did he know that?

Reviews

[Michael]

Excellent as is all of your work but this in particular I really relate to (apart from the god bit)
We as humans always look at the negative of anything when there are plenty of positives to start with.
I think I know you better than you think (depsite what you say :o) ) we all spend our life time looking for happiness and for most of us it does eventually come even tho it can be taken away when least expected.
Your life, the people in it and just about everything you know right now will change over time but stay positive I believe happiness will eventually be given to those that most deserve it and your one of those people. x