for a bit, i had something cool going on, with the last word of each line starting all with the same letter for each.. stanza? is that what they're called?
then I kind of lost it and i got two lines to match instead.
that i really lost it, and I just made it end with the
again,
once again,
thing...
thats all.
My Review
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Painfully beautiful. Yes I agree, we have all felt like this. You depicted the emotions, pain, anguish so well I was reliving it there for a few minutes.
If I stay still, the pain lingers, just
throbs.
If I try to escape, the rope gets
tighter.
You captured it perfectly! You have a powerful way to get so much through in so few words.
Posted 16 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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You really do accomplish the goal of poetry: create the most powerful image and emotion with the fewest number of words. This one is so tragic, yet so beautiful, its... i just love it. "Like a noose around my throat... a sudden snap and I die, again."
Painfully beautiful. Yes I agree, we have all felt like this. You depicted the emotions, pain, anguish so well I was reliving it there for a few minutes.
If I stay still, the pain lingers, just
throbs.
If I try to escape, the rope gets
tighter.
You captured it perfectly! You have a powerful way to get so much through in so few words.
Excellent poem, a pleasure to read, but I have a question if you didn't want anyone you know to read your work why post it? And you say your a nobody like all of the rest. God didn't think you were a nobody or he wouldn't have put you here on Earth. Nice writing.
i don't care for grammar.
i like to swear.
i jump around.
my thoughts don't like to stay on the same track.
I'm brutally depressing,
ridiculously repetitive,
surprisingly pretty good with words... more..