The Shadows

Just venting on how I'm feeling I guess...

The shadows I fear and flee from are always there... In every corner of every room, street, road, in every thought, look, sound, in my heart, mind, and now is creeping it's way into my soul... I try to run and hide. It always finds me where ever I go, I'm happy for a while and it always finds a way to turn that into darkness as well... The people I love and care for seem so distant from me now that it's like I'm a burden... That I'm just something to be passed along and not to be helped rather something to put up with. Something to deal with, something helpless and worthless.... I cry and no one noticed I ask for help and no one really does.... So I ask myself why bother.....then it whispers in my ear "why do you care?" I shake my head "why not disappear" I bite my lip "just give in....its seems scary but you know I love you" blood leaks into my mouth and the taste of iron and salt feel so good on my tongue "no one really cares about you, you're alone after all....you help so many people and yet you're hurting anyway?" I fight back the tears, why must I torture myself this way.....the dark shadows claw at my last bit of light and it hurts every night, tossing and turning in the fright of every night terror and dark memories of what used to be happiness everything flipped and turned, messed up bitterness left and each time I try to brighten everyone else's day I shatter and fall apart trying to keep this happy mask on. "Just give into my embrace" it says in an icy yet comforting voice like silk chilled in the winter air, it slides through me with ease and I cry tears of pain....loneliness, anger, and betrayal....I betrayed myself when I cry and the darkness has taken over no longer the same smile or friendly person you once knew...but fortunately this one is a bit stronger....only if it could feel it might have been perfect.
Dark dreams await in this shadow filled soul and mind maybe one day I will wake up from this sad dream life I live...

Author's Note

Don't mind the simple mistakes, still kinda new to writing, and it just me venting so don't take it seriously cause I'm not. Once I get how I feel out it doesn't bug me much anymore