He

He laid his eyes upon the creature, on the monster He had created without giving it any thoughts, on the hideous living He had loved and held so dearly inside his huge palm. Remorse filled His heart every time He looked at it, wondering how they would be able to survive with such hatred and anger living among them all. Forgiveness and mercy was a routine since the beginning; whispers of prayers were melody to His ears, but He got quickly tired of hearing it. Not because it was the same excuse over and over, but because there was no honesty inside the holy words, inside those blackened empty hearts, inside those meaningless tears, inside those dead souls.

Flickers of lights shined everywhere in this immense darkness, illuminating so brightly for a second before vanishing into the darkness of sins. The weakening lights, battling for their last breath, for their last hours, minutes, seconds of life; and then there was those with pure and undying lights, those with such innocence that its sole light could open the gated hearts of thousands.

But it won’t last, He thought, this world is filled with sins, horror, disgust, repugnance, terror and vengeance.

“O, what have I done!” He cried as He closed his hands, imprisoning the world back into despair again.

There were no tears this time, not even a single sparkle of guilt, sorrow, or pity flared in those sad eyes. He had no hope for them, no hope for those merciful creatures �" they needed to be taught a lesson, but how could they understand if there was no innocence and pureness in them anymore?

Author's Note

Please, ignore any grammar mistakes since English isn't my first native language. This is an essay, I just suddenly got this idea during my literature class and I wanted to share it with everybody.
Thank you for reading it and hope it made some sense!

Reviews

[Schatzi]

Hello Mio,

I think you have an interesting premise here. I like the whole 'He' thing. You appear to have a few run on sentences in the opening paragraph. Matter of fact, in my personal opinion, your opening paragraph could be split into two paragraphs. I think it would make your opening more powerful. Other than that, it's a good story--very interesting.

Thank you for sharing!

Kind regards,

Schatzi

[Mio]

Thank you for your helpful comment!

[AUU]

It made great sense. Making he a noun by capitalizing it is all you really needed for it to make sense. Great work.

[Mio]

Thank you very much!

[Jacob Clifford]

There's a grand scale in this piece. Thank you for sharing.

[Mio]

Thank you!