Before My Time

“Living is too hard right now. Dying is easy. Let me die.” ― Kristin Cashore

Gone are the days

Lived I in freedom

Free of expectations

And the chains of propriety

Lost are the memories

Among others of mine

From an age long forgotten

From a time left behind

Try how I might

To break free of the failures

Gradually built as they weigh

On my shoulders and I wilt

From the inside out I die

I search through life

For one to share the load

But so far I found none

Am I fated to die alone?

Years of my life

Do I have yet to live

If such be the present

Bleak seems the future

Why I mourn the past

Lost be the cause

I know not why

I mourn the future

Where change be the core

I know not

But yet I mourn

For my spark long gone

To live I now desire

My life I now despise

Yet all that be nothing

Compared to the sorrow I know

The regret of lost chances

The anger of lost opportunities

The frustration for things unreachable

The desire for things not mine

All I do take out

On my life for time eternal

Yet no matter what I do

I do not know how

I do not know why

I and dying from the inside

I am dying before my time

05.08.2016

Author's Note

I wrote this some time last year and just found it recently while cleaning up my room. Thought I'd might as well post it rather than let it lie around forgotten. Hope you find it good.