Waking Dream

Night falls, moon rises, and stars appear one by one.

I sit in my room, my warm breath fogging up the glass as I watch them through my window.

The window that blocks me from the outside world,

The world that I want to crash into, head on.

But not alone.

I close my eyes and imagine you pulling up in front of my house in your old car, tires squealing, horn honking, beckoning me outside, to run away, to escape from this prison I call home.

The old me is gone now, the one that always follows the rules and embraces perfection,

The new me breaks loose, you can see it as I run down the driveway and slide into your car, eager to experience freedom and adventure.

You're the only one who can see it.

The tires crunch over pavement, over discarded cigarettes and shattered glass, as we speed away, driving off into the night, the ice cold air brushing up against our faces and welcoming us into the land of the unknown.

Where we're going is a mystery, we just drive for hours, following the endless trail of nothing, leaving behind the pasts we hide, the memories we dread, the lives we hate.

I laugh as you sing along with the music in your off-key voice and drum your fingers against the stick in rhythm with the song,

I watch as your messy brown hair runs wild in the wind, then I scoot closer to you so I can bury my face into your neck and breathe in the smell of soft soap and stale smoke, the scent I know so well.

We pull over, too tired to go on, ready to rest and prepare for the journey that lay ahead.

You move to the backseat and pull me into your arms as I press my body against yours and feel your heart beating quickly beside mine.

My eyes close as you kiss me gently, your unshaven face grazing along my skin, and I melt, like a candle does when it first makes contact with a single flame.

For once in my life, I finally feel safe, in your arms, protected, like nothing could go wrong, nothing could ruin my happiness, nothing could break this apart.

We hold on tight, afraid of ruining the moment, afraid of letting go of something so perfect.

Breathing in unison, drowning out the rest of the world with our love, a love that is so deep that there's no ending to it.

When I open my eyes, I'm back in my room and you're not there.

I look up and see the moon, the stars, and the blanket of darkness surrounding me.

Then I see that window, the window that keeps me inside, the window that protects me from the world that I hunger for, and the window that blocks me from you, imprisoning me in this loveless nightmare.

Then, at that moment, I realize that the only place our love truly exists is in my dreams and that it's time to face reality once again.

Truths flood back and tears roll down my cheeks as I long for you, the one thing I can't have, the one thing I'm forbidden to have because you already belong to another.

My spirit breaks slowly, as I think to myself how the girl that holds your heart in the palms of her hands--that gets showered with kisses and compliments, that shines brighter than every other in your eyes--was supposed to be me.

Breathing hard, I think back to the times when I was that girl.

And my heart aches.

 

Reviews

[Eyes focused like a mir..]

I feel struck by how I easily connected with the situation and the mood. You are quite a descriptive writer yourself. I thought there were small grammar errors but I don't really think those matter as much. The mood transaction was excellent indeed. I felt her suffering towards the end strongly. It was bold written for me. It was screaming.
I'm a huge fan of painting pictures, and you painted walls with this piece!

[Saturn's Lover]

I thought that was written just beautifully. And I could very much relate.

[The Purple Kazoo]

this is a great poem. good emotion. i think that the last line "and my heart aches" works really well. somehow, such a simple statement is a perfect conclusion to this poem. kudos.

[Captain Ugly]

I enjoyed this. Very poetic prose. The entire piece flowed very smoothly even with all of the suffering in the piece. Strong. I felt it.
Just Me.
Captain Ugly.