Coincidence Much

Long Awaited Meeting Between Partners

After my lectures were finished I grabbed my books and was ready to go home. As I was going to the stop the whining girl saw me and ran up to me in an instant.

"Hey, you aren't going to get away like this morning." She smiled from ear to ear as if she won something. I smiled along and just walked away. She ran up towards me again though this time she grabbed my arm and ran all the way to a park. When we stopped only she was out of breath.

"Ha ha you dragged me all the way here to talk or something. Wait are you going to confess your love to me. I'm not ready to hear those words yet. Hold on a second we don't know each other."

"Of course not, I have someone else I like and I'm dating him too." 

"Ah I'm dating too ahh maybe I don't know anymore." Just remembering makes me doubt everything once again. "Well, since we are past that let's do introductions. Ahem, HI nice to meet you once again. I'm name is Cydney Bunbuns."

"Pfft, your last name is weird you sound like a teddy bear."

"Excuse me, but I got Bunbuns from a special historical figure."

"Yeah, Queen Elizabeth's the first's teddy bear la Bunbuns the one and only thing that got her going through tough times."

"Hey no it's not a history like that but it was nice to hear something different for once."

"Ho ho so was it the ancestor of Julie von Racheale Ludrig Deportorio Ragnar Stevphfor Mon Bunbuns. The first princess to ever lay waste to the war Untied Ledgar started with Londezar over a peace treaty. She violated 7 rules, killed her troops not to mention her own family that stopped her. If you ask me I would gladly date a fine woman like her but it's been 175 years since it has ended. Now Cydney Bunbuns I would love to learn where the name Bunbuns came from."

"How did you know that?"

"Well, I have my ways besides her journal's really useful in terms of her wonderful actions."

"Wait wait wait we are getting way off track here. I only wanted to learn your name that's all."

"Oh yeah I forgot my name is Lycus Blankruz nice to meet you."

"You say my name is weird huh."

"It is because you sound sweet, delicious and well cuddly as a teddy bear." We started laughing man I wonder how long it was since I had last laughed this much. Wondering about everything that happened last night makes me hurt all over again. Wait Cydney Bunbuns sounds familiar where did I hear it. Ah she's my partner for the game. This is a small world after all so I smile along until my phone rings with Cecil on the line.

"Hello?"

"Lycus! Where are you?"

"Uh with a friend.....ish."

"Why did you pause and add an ish to the end."

"Stuff happened and I think we're friends."

"Wait Lycus had friends!! You said friends are bothersome, loud, dumb and gluttons."

"We aren't friends you know."

"Well anyways come home Rose is waiting."

"No thanks I have plans."

"No you don't I know you well. From the looks from it you are a loner."

"And you Cecil is a little useless prick that doesn't want to dirty her hands."

"Just get home now Rose wants to see you and talk about tomorrow."

"Yes yes I understand bye." Cydney tried calling someone but it was no luck. I smiled and ha to say good bye to her and headed to the apartment. Everyone was seated well not everyone just them doing their own things. I had no part of it what so ever so I went and researched on Char;lie. The fact was that it wasn't his real name. His name is Matthew Aznlolkid. His parents sold him off to loan sharks to pay off their gambling debts. He has a family of 3 with a wife and a child. He was put in jail for assaulting a police officer and murdering the judge the following day. His family decided to move away without his knowledge leading to a divorce. His partner in the game is Lovedy Torecorp. She as anyone else wants money and would use any means to get it. She had 4 marriages with all of them dying leading to all of their life insurance to her and her alone. Reading profile after profile took a drag on my mind. The last thing I wanted to do is talk to Rose because I begin to doubt it. I love her but she disappears before anything real happens. At those times I seek comfort in the games that I host. That was when Rose took the files and seemed really angry.

"Hey you stopped talking to me so I backed off for your air or was it space." 

Reviews

[Jerome Malenfant]

The dialogue between these people is really confusing and disjointed. It's also not clear in the first set of exchanges which one is speaking. And why is this girl described as 'whining'? The exchanges between this girl and the narrator, who don't know each other, seems very unnatural. And then this Lycus guy calls up with a message but instead of giving it gets distracted by the minor fact that the narrator added an 'ish' to 'friend'; that also seems an unnatural response.

"...ran up to me in an instant" suggests that she ran really fast, covering the distance between them "in an instant". "...in an instant ran up to me" I think would be better, meaning that she started to run in an instant.