Mad Love

Patients in a mental hospital fall in love

Mad Love

 

 Boulder Behavioral Health Center

Trevor Roth

Trevor slept a few days in his room because he was full of the drug Haldol. He was wearing scrubs because he had taken all his clothes off after being caught running through the campus naked. The campus police caught up with him and sent him to jail. His behavior became more erratic and strange so he was transferred to Boulder County Hospital. He had to be strapped down on a bed for two days until the Haldol entered his system. Once he had calmed down they transferred him to Boulder Behavioral health. He had been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder a few years ago his freshman year.

 

Boulder Behavioral Health Center

Rachel May

Three days ago Rachel May was found unconscious in her dorm room. She had taken a bottle of Vodka and a bottle of sleeping pills. She was taken to the hospital where they pumped her stomach and kept her for observation. Her records indicated that she had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder six months ago. She was on Tagertol but she still had manias and depressions. She was put on Lithium which made her sleepy. She skipped group and slept in her room.

 

 

Trevor and Rachel

 

Trevor was laying on the couch in the day room waiting for morning group to start. He was still a little groggy from the Haldol. They had adjusted the dosage since he came down from his manic episode. He was having a hard time taking his medication which was Depakote. He would go into a hypo-manic phase and feel pretty good and not take his meds. He was on SSI and living with a friend from college. His roommate understood but he felt that he was wearing out his welcome there. At breakfast, Trevor noticed a girl sitting by herself. He wondered who she was. She had dark hair and green eyes. He was a sucker for green eyes.  His hair was brown and long since he didn’t cut it much. He had hazel eyes. He wondered where she had been or if she had just checked in the other night.

Dream Girl walked in draped in a blanket. She sat at the far end of the couch watching TV. He thought he had noticed her a few days earlier but she hadn’t been attending the group sessions. This is the first time he’d seen her at group. Group started and people participated except Dream Girl. She sat quietly and the group leader let her stay quiet but encouraged her to speak up when she wanted to. After group everybody went back to their rooms except Rachel and Trevor. Trevor pretended to watch TV while he watched Dream Girl. He guessed that she was depressed and possibly suicidal. She looked sad. He wanted to cheer her up. He took the paper he was given at group and made a paper crane out of it.

 He sat near her and said “Hi, I’m Trevor”

“Hi, I’m Rachel.”

“Have you been here long?”

“A couple of weeks.”
“Me too. I have Bipolar Disorder”

“Supposedly, I do too. I was diagnosed last year after a manic episode.”

“What brings you here?”

“I was suicidal. I am getting better. I don’t want to kill myself; I just want to die.” Rachel chuckled. Nurse “Ratchet” (I call all the nurses “Nurse Ratchet”) told me that I needed to go to group everyday if I wanted to get out of here. “

“Yeah, they gave me a ton of Haldol and got mad when I wanted to sleep all day. The psychiatrist reduced my Haldol so I am more coherent. “

“They decided that my meds weren’t working because I was cycling so they put me on Lithium which made me a zombie at first. I was sleeping a lot too.”

“Are you in school?”

“Yeah, but not for long. I keep getting sick.”

“I had to drop out my senior year. I am on SSI; Social Security Insurance.”

“I hope this new medication will mellow me out and I can keep going to school.”

“I hear Lithium is good. Depakote is also good from what I have heard.”

“I hate the fact that I have to be on meds for the rest of my freakin’ life.”

“I know how you feel, but it’s better than being in a hospital.”

Rachel smiled, “Amen, Brother.”

Trevor put the paper crane on Rachel’s leg and left the room.

Rachel picked up the crane. She was impressed with how the wings moved when she pulled the beak. She smiled again. She liked the fact that Trevor made her smile. It was more smiling she had done since she arrived.

 

Trevor smiled as he went back to his room. He sat on his bed thinking about the crane he gave Rachel. It was nice to connect with someone in this hospital. Trevor had a few friends but he hadn’t had a girlfriend since he was diagnosed. With “Nurse Ratchet” doing rounds every fifteen minutes it would be impossible to spend any time alone with Rachel anyway. He decided to make a friend out of Rachel and table any romantic ideas.

                The next day Trevor found Rachel at breakfast. “Thank you for the little bird, Trevor.” Rachel said shyly. “You’re welcome, my lady. It was my pleasure,” Trevor said gallantly.

“Do you know when you’re getting out of here?,” Rachel asked cautiously.

“I have no clue; I had a pretty bad episode. They want to change my medication.”

“I could be in for the long haul too; if my medication doesn’t work”

“I’m guessing at least six weeks.”

“I think that’s true for me too. It takes at least that amount of time for the medication to kick-in. So I have read. “

“You have striking eyes,” Trevor whispered.

“Thanks, my mother gave them to me.”

“Are you from Boulder?” Rachel asked.

“No, Chicago.”

“I am from Denver.”

“What food are you craving right now?” Trevor asked with a smile.

“I miss Chile’s artichoke dip.”

“I miss Chicago’s deep dish pizza with mushrooms, peppers, sausage, and pepperoni.”

Rachel looked at her oatmeal. “It’s definitely better than this s**t.”

Trevor laughed.

Breakfast was over so everybody went outside; it was mandatory. Trevor didn’t want to seem too interested in Rachel so he smoked a cigarette with the other nicotine junkies.  He usually smoked when he was manic. This time he was feeling a little nervous. He listened to the others talk but he didn’t participate. After his cigarette he did some push-ups and sit-ups He wished he could run a mile and work off the extra energy he felt. He avoided looking at Rachel who was walking around with a group of ladies. After recess, Trevor was called over to the medical window and was given another dose of Lithium and Haldol. The medication mellowed him out. He avoided taking a nap and went to the day-room to watch TV before the next group.

                Rachel looked at Trevor while he did his exercises. He was in good physical shape. She liked his arms and abs the most. Rachel wasn’t looking for a boyfriend right now. She wanted to focus on herself. She was attracted to Trevor, however. He seemed to be a few years older than her. Her last boyfriend dumped her when, in a manic episode, she stole his credit card and maxed it out online. She wondered what it would be like to date another bipolar person. Their medication would need to be working.  She could understand him because of his struggles with the illness. She didn’t know if she wanted all the drama involved dating someone who is Bipolar unless their medication was working and he was willing to take it regularly. She didn’t know if the medication she was taking would work long term or the medication that Trevor was given would work. She was lonely, though and still hurting from her last break-up. Having someone who understood her illness might be encouraging.

                During the next week, Trevor kept his distance from Rachel. She was sad and cried a lot. An artist, he made drawings of her during recess in a composition book he obtained from the nurse. He wrote poems in the book also. He was starting to feel more normal on the medication he was given. A another week went by he felt lest manic and more mellow. He met with a psychiatrist who told him that the lithium would keep him from going manic. He also would have fewer hypo-manic episodes where he felt euphoric but not delusional. That would ensure that he would take his medication more often and not go off of it. Rachel started feeling better the fifth week.  She was afraid that she would have to take the semester off and focus on getting her medication right. She was also taking lithium. It made her drowsy and loopy. She went to group and saw Trevor but didn’t speak to him. Her mother dropped off some clothes and lotions since she didn’t know how long she was going to be there. She also left some books for Rachel to read. This was a godsend because Rachel was an avid reader. Her medication was adjusted and the next week Rachel felt a lot better. She no longer wanted to die and she felt more alert. She searched out Trevor to talk to him at recess.

                Trevor was sitting against the building, smoking a cigarette when Rachel walked up. He was holding two composition books and writing in one of them.

“Hello, stranger,” Rachel said cheerfully.

“Well, hello, my lady. Are you feeling better?” Trevor asked with a bit of concern in his voice.

“Yes, I do feel better. The thoughts of death have gone away. They adjusted my medication so I don’t feel so drowsy. “

“That’s great to hear.”

“What did you major in when you were in college?”

“Fine Arts”

“Are those your drawings?” Rachel pointed to the composition books he was holding.

“Yes and some poems. Maybe later I can show them to you.”

“I’d like that, Trevor” Rachel said with enthusiasm.

“Have you put on any art shows?”

“I put one on before I got sick.  I sold some paintings. I’d like to do another one after I get my medication sorted out. “

“I am majoring in history. I want to be a high school history teacher. I’m thinking about minoring in English“

“You smell like margaritas.”

“It’s this new lotion my mother gave me; “Virgin Mojitos” from the Body Shop.”

Trevor took a final puff of his cigarette and threw it on the ground. He felt attracted to Rachel but didn’t want to make a move because of nurse Ratchet and also because of her vulnerable emotional state. He didn’t want to give her his drawings because they were mostly of her. He would give the drawings to her if she asked for them again.

“I saw you reading earlier. Did someone give you some books?”

“My mother stopped by and dropped off some clothes and books and stuff.”

“The book you had looked pretty dog-eared. What is it?”

“It’s my copy of Dune. I read it at least once a year. It’s my all-time favorite book.”

“You like science-fiction?”
“Yes, mostly. I also read other types of historical fiction and classics.”

“I read The X-Men and mysteries.”

“When you get stable what do you want to do with your life?”

“I want to work part-time and do art shows.”

“My parents saved up money so I can go to college. I don’t want to disappoint them. “

“Are you an only child?”

“Yes. My parents tried to have more but couldn’t”

“I have an older brother. He has offered to live with me but we don’t get along too well. I might have to take him up on his offer if my roommate situation goes sour. “

It was time go back inside. During group Rachel sat near Trevor. He liked that. At lunch time they sat together but didn’t talk. Then Rachel went off to read her book. Trevor continued to write in his composition book. Trevor called his roommate and discovered that he would not be renewing the lease with Trevor on it. He had six months to find a new place. He talked to a social worker who helped him sign up for low-income housing. He wanted to stay in boulder because it was good for his personality and his talents as an artist. A few weeks went by and Trevor and Rachel built a rapport together. They became friends but there was a little bit of sexual tension too.

                Everyone was in their rooms for the afternoon after the last group. Rachel stopped reading her book and wondered what kind of artist Trevor was. He was yet to show her his drawings. She went to his room and saw him sitting on his bed. She knocked and came in.

“Can I look at your drawings, now?” Rachel asked shyly.

“Sure you can, my lady. “ Trevor gave her the composition books. Rachel sat on the bed and looked through them. She was shocked. They were mostly of her with poems about her. He had been watching her as she struggled with depression. There was on that she liked because she was smiling. Rachel looked up at Trevor and smiled. “They’re beautiful. You have a great talent.” Rachel sat closer to Trevor. She put her hand on his cheek. She leaned over and kissed him. At first, Trevor did nothing, and then he slowly reciprocated the kiss. They broke away suddenly when nurse Ratchet came to the door and said that it was time for exercise.

                They walked around the track during the exercise period but resisted the temptation to hold hands. They didn’t want to be punished by nurse Ratchet so they kept their distance. At dinner, they sat with other people. After another two weeks Rachel was discharged. She gave her mother’s phone number to Trevor since she would be staying with her mother for a while. Trevor gave her the drawings he made. He didn’t know when he was going to be discharged. He gave Rachel his cell phone that he wrote on the composition books that he gave her.

                Trevor stayed another two months and was discharged. He stayed with his roommate until the lease ran out and then he stayed with his brother for a while until the low �"income housing he signed up for became available. He didn’t call Rachel. He was afraid that their little romance was due to being in hospital and not a genuine thing. He seemed to be stable on lithium and stopped having manic and hypo-manic episodes. He was stable enough to do an art show and put some other work on consignment at a coffee shop. He was sitting at home when he got a call on his cell. He didn’t recognize the number.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Trevor?”

“Rachel?” Trevor was shocked to hear her voice.

“It’s good to hear from you, Trevor”

“Are you back in school?”

“Yes, I am doing a lot better now. How have you been?”
“I did a show. I am more stable now. I haven’t had a manic episode in months”

“I was wondering if you wanted to get together sometime.”

“That would be great. I am living in Denver right now.”

“I’ll be in Denver next week to visit my mother. We can meet then. I would love to see your place.”

“It’s pretty paltry. I can meet you at a book store not too far from my place. “

The next week Trevor met Rachel at a book store/coffee shop near his apartment. Trevor was impressed with Rachel’s demeanor. She was happy and clear-eyed. He felt better also since being in the hospital. Rachel insisted on seeing his paintings so they walked to his apartment. He showed her his paintings and drawings. Rachel was impressed. Trevor made tea and they talked about life outside of the hospital. Rachel was more accepting of her diagnoses. Trevor said the lithium slows him down a bit but he is still creative and productive. He has gained a little weight, though. Rachel laughed and said she is also a little heavier. Trevor noticed that her hips were wider and her breasts were bigger. Trevor suddenly put his tea down, grabbed Rachel’s face and kissed her passionately. Rachel didn’t resist. They made love all afternoon. As Rachel was sleeping, Trevor drew a more complete drawing of Rachel. Their mad love started in the hospital but blossomed into real love.