Love Me Thrice

A woman falls in love with two men. Who will she marry?

           Love Me Thrice

                           By Ellen Roberts copyright 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

June 1, 2003 Universal Studios   LA, California

The film executive held up the screen play and looked at a page and said “ It’s more than a little creepy”. 

Helen Banks said “ I know. But do you get that the doctor’s love for the little girl redeems him from  his pedophilia?”

 The executive said  “ Yes , but can a pedophile really stop being a pedophile?”

Helen said, “  In my research I have learned that pedophiles are able to control their pedophilia”

The executive said “  I see. We will have to contact you again about this project”

 Helen asked  “When can I expect a decision?”

The executive looked at his watch and said “ Within the next  few weeks. Thank you for coming in Ms. Banks. “

Helen sighed and said “Thank you, Mr. Washington. “ She got up and left the office.

Helen stood outside the building of Universal Studios.  She looked down at her bag that held the copies of her screenplay entitled “ The Sociopath” . She saw a trashcan nearby and was tempted  to dump the screenplay.  She thougt better of it. This was her third rejection  of her screenplay. She felt that she should give up or do an extensive rewrite.  She faught back tears  and took a plane home to Denver, CO.

Helen Banks,  an African-American woman from Denver , Colorado was grateful for how her screenwriting career was going. She had three screenplays under her belt and another studio was considering optioning her Angels series. All in all she shouldn’t feel so bad about this rejection but she did. The  Sociopath was a story of a psychiatric pedophile professor who strives to save a little girl from being a sociopath by using information obtained in a Nazi concentration camp became sort of her baby. The manuscript that the screenplay was  based on failed to sell also. In frustration  Helen  posted the manuscript as a free e-book.  She began to get letters from people who claimed to be pedophiles. They Were grateful for her work. That didn’t encourage her about the book. Maybe it did glorify pedophilia.

24-Hour Fitness, Denver Colorado  September 1, 2003

It was 2am and Helen felt more than a little fidgety.  Because of her Bipolar Disorder she rarely slept at night. She got a membership at the gym years ago when her husband was concerned about her exercising at night. It was 3 years since her husband died in a car accident. She was surprised at how well she had recovered from her husband’s death in the last three years. She  carved out a career in screen writing and novel  writing  and was making good money. She felt good about being able to make a living at something she so enjoyed doing

Helen looked around at the gym and only saw a couple people on the treadmills and one person working out on weights. She went to an open treadmill in the middle of the room and began walking with her headphones on. She began mulling over in her mind ,as the music of Harry Connick Jr. was playing in her ear, how she could rewrite her screen play to make it less creepy.  She thought that maybe she should make the little girl into a young woman or a teenager  so that people weren’t creeped out by the therapy that the professor used.

“Excuse me” a blonde middle aged white man touched her arm lightly.

Helen took a minute before she realized the man was talking to her.

“Yes?” Helen was a little annoyed ; still walking on the treadmill.

“Did you know if these treadmills burn more calories than the elliptical ?”  The man asked innocently.

“I have no idea, sir, maybe you should ask an employee.” Helen said, still annoyed.

“I was just wondering because the elliptical makes me dizzy””

“I would stick to the treadmills then. “  Helen said wondering why this man was talking to her. Was he trying to pick her up?

“I was wondering , ma’am if you would like to go out for some breakfast or coffee sometime? “

He was trying to pick her up. It surprised Helen because men don’t approach her. She stopped walking and considered it.

“Do you live around here?” Helen asked, wondering if this man was legit.

“ I live downtown, I am a barrister with  a small firm”  Helen liked the look in his vivid blue eyes. He looked to be about the same age as her maybe slightly younger.

“Why are you here at this hour?” Helen asked.

 “I was working on a very important case and I needed to wind myself down before I went home, that’s all..” The barrister looked up at Helen as she was standing on the treadmill. “

“Go out for coffee? That would be fine. When? “ Helen heard herself saying.

“Tomorrow afternoon or sometime next week?”

“I can’t do it tomorrow but Monday would be good.”

The barrister  took out his hand and said “ Ethan Nottingham at your service ma’am. “

Helen shook his hand and said “ Helen Banks” . Something made her smile. She thought it was the English accent. She thought he sounded like he was from London.

Ethan took out his phone and asked politely, “May I have your phone number?”

“Sure it’s 303-377-2323. That is my land line; my cell is 720-446-4545”

Helen liked the way he smiled as he put the numbers in his phone.

“Thank you very much, madame. I will call you on Friday to confirm our appointment.  I hope I haven’t disturbed your work out. “

“ That’s alright, Mr. Nottingham” Helen said.

“It’s Ethan.” He said with a smile.

“Ethan”  Helen said and smiled back.

He walked away and Helen resumed her workout.

 

Friday, September 5, 2003. Park Hill Duplex.

Helen started to get ready to walk her 2 pugs when her landline rang. It was about ten in the morning.

“Hello?” Helen hoped it was Universal Studios.

“Hello , Helen?” A deep tenor replied.

“Yes?”  Helen wondered who this was.

“it’s Ethan from the gym? How are you? “

“Oh Ethan ! “ Helen said with more than a little enthusiasm.

“I am doing fine, thank you. “ Helen said wondering why she was so excited to hear from the barrister.”

“I was wondering if we were set for Monday”

“Yes, I like to go to a little coffee shop around the corner from my duplex called “Cup O’ Joe”  is that alright?

“Yes, I’d like that Helen. 12 o’clock?”

“Yes, that is fine. You could meet me at my house and we could walk over. They let you have your pets on the patio. I have 2 pugs. My address is 2244 Eudora street. “

“I think I can find that, Helen. “ Helen like the way he said her name.  She felt like he liked her.

“Ok 12 o’clock it is. Call me if you get lost”

“I will, Helen. Goodbye.”

“Bye, Ethan. “ Helen said with a smile.

 

Monday September 7 2003, Cup O’ Joe , Denver , Colorado

Helen looked at her watch pensively. It read 12:15. She wondered if Ethan forgot their date. Her dogs were getting a little restless waiting at the door. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and the pugs barked at it. Helen rushed to the door, opened it and standing there was Ethan.

“Ethan!” Helen exclaimed with some relief.

“I am so sorry I’m late, Helen. Will you forgive me? “  Ethan asked with a smile.

“I’m glad you made it, Ethan” Helen said with a smile. “Come on in”

Ethan stepped through the door and was accosted by Helen’s two pugs. He petted them and said “ I was occupied at work. It took a little effort to get away.”

“Do you have time for some coffee?” Helen wondered.

“I have cleared my schedule for the rest of the afternoon.” Ethan took a step closer to her .

“Great, let’s go.”  Helen led her pugs to the door and stepped through it. Their walk to the coffee shop was pleasant. It was a nice fall day ; not to cold or windy. They purchased their coffee and sat on the patio. Helen brought some treats for her pugs and they munched happily on them . Ethan talked about his background. He studied Law and Philosophy in London and moved to the United States years ago. After he got his license here he found a small firm in Denver doing criminal and probate law. Helen said she was a writer and screenwriter and that she was married for twenty years to her husband before he died in a hit-and-run car accident in 2000. Her husband , Herbert, was an electrician  and tried to start his own electrical company  but failed. He went back to the IBEW after his business failed toward the end of his life. Helen thought the conversation was going swimmingly. She liked Ethan and thought his English accent was kind of sexy. She had one nagging question though.

“What are your thoughts on God?” Helen asked quietly.

“ I don’t believe in God. “ Ethan said firmly.

“Oh.” Helen said rather disappointedly . Her husband Herbert was a Christian when they married but lost his faith in the last ten years of their marriage. Helen vowed that she could not marry a man who didn’t love God.

“Is that a problem?” Ethan asked with concern in his voice.

“My husband became an atheist before he died. It really hurt that he turned his back on God. I feel  that I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe in God. “

“ I understand where you are coming from , Helen. I find you to be a pleasant lady. I hope we can remain friends .”  Ethan offered his hand to Helen.

Helen looked at it for a moment. The one time a man shows interest in her and he is an atheist. She didn’t understand why this was happening. She took his hand and shook it. It was a little sweaty which puzzled her.

“You can call me anytime, Ethan”.  Helen said with a sad smile.

Ethan said , “Lets enjoy our coffee and the nice weather shall we?”

Helen and Ethan enjoyed the afternoon drinking coffee and making small talk until Helen’s pugs got restless and she took them home. The walk to her house was quiet and reflective. When Helen reached her door Ethan said, “May I give you a hug, Helen?” Suddenly Helen missed the arms of a man around her. She said yes. They hugged  for a while and Helen held on until Ethan broke away. "A second too long," she thought. Helen looked as Ethan turned a walked away. She opened her door, led the pugs in , sat down and cried.

 

Park Hill Duplex October 1.

Helen hadn’t heard from Ethan. It hurt but he probably moved on. She was holding a rejection letter from Universal  Studios regarding her screenplay. She angrily threw it down  scaring away one of her pugs. The phone rang. It was her landline she had no idea who it might be. She didn’t feel like talking right now. She picked up the phone before it went to voice mail. 

“Hello?” Her voice broke which embarrassed her a little bit. She didn’t know who was calling her in the middle of the afternoon.

“Helen it’s Ethan, are you alright?” The concern in his voice touched Helen.

“No, my screenplay was rejected by the studio for the third time. I don’t think it’s very good”  Helen started crying after she breathlessly explained to Ethan .

“I think you are a brilliant writer, Helen. “ Ethan said with a smile in his voice.

“ Have you read any of my books?” Helen asked expecting a negative answer.

“Yes, I have and I have to tell you that I think you have a great talent.”

“I don’t know Ethan , I was doing alright but this is the first rejection I have received.”

“Rejection often happens in your industry. It doesn’t mean that your writing is faulty. It could be an issue the studio has with the work. “

“I am hurt, Ethan. I really want this project green-lighted.”  Helen said with a broken voice.

“I would like to read what you have, Helen. “

“That’s easy there is an e-book that my screenplay is based on. You can read that for free. I couldn’t sell the damn thing so I put it out as an e-book. It’s online I can give the link. “ Helen gave him the information and Ethan wrote it down . She was flattered that he read some of her books and was interested in The Sociopath.

“What books of mine have you read? “

“I read your Angel series. “

“Oh,” Helen was flattered that this man would find the time to read three of her books in a month. “

“What did you think?” Helen asked with some trepidation.

“ I was rather impressed with your Biblical knowledge” Ethan said quietly.

“You read the Bible?”

“I have read the Bible. One has to know what one is rejecting”

“My husband used to read a lot of philosophy books  especially after he became an Atheist. That stuff goes over my head” Helen laughed. She was feeling tons better.

“You read philosophy?” Ethan asked sounding impressed.

“ After my husband died I read his philosophy books. I wanted to understand him more and kind of get into his head. I had a hard time understanding what I was reading , though. He also read a lot of westerns .I read some of those occasionally when I miss him. “ Helen didn’t know what she was feeling. She liked Ethan but she knew nothing could come of a relationship with him. He said he wanted to be friends.

“Do you watch American sports like hockey? “ Helen asked

“I attend the occasional football parties with my colleagues “ Ethan said with some amusement.

“There’s a hocky game at Sports Grill tomorrow night. Did you want to come with me?”

“ I confess, I don’t know much about hockey.”

“It’s like rugby but on ice. “

“I’d like that , Helen.”

“ Good, pick me up at 6?”

“Alright”

Ethan picked Helen up and they  went to the Sports Grill to watch the Avs play. It was a great game and Helen had a good time with Ethan. They ate some pizza and Helen snacked compulsively on hot wings. Ethan didn’t touch the wings he said they were too spicy for his taste. In the course of their conversation Ethan mentioned that he was seeing a woman that worked at his firm. Helen was slightly jealous  but then decided that it was good that he was dating other people.

Over the course of several  months  Ethan would call and they would talk on the phone. Ethan never mentioned seeing her in person or going to another hockey game and that gave Helen a sense of relief. She thought the less she saw of Ethan the better  but they could talk on the phone. Helen said she was working on a rewrite of her screenplay. Her Angel series was being put into production but the studio hired someone else to write the screenplays which made Helen a little nervous.

Helen never mentioned that she had Bipolar Disorder to Ethan. She didn’t want to give him an excuse to break off their  friendship. She stood in the shower and realized she would have to tell him at some point. She was stable on Lithium and rarely went manic although she would suffer from bouts of depression. She was on Lithium for 20 years and had very few side effects. Her only challenge was taking time to work on her writing and being slow and meticulous about it. It took her a year to turn around a screenplay and longer to write a novel.  It took her seven years to finish college with a degree in English because she was first diagnosed with Manic Depression/ Bipolar Disorder in college. Helen decided that she would tell Ethan the next time they talked.

Animal City Veterinary Center May 14, 2004 Denver, Co

Helen’s pug,  Alice, was sick. She had been vomiting and having diarrhea nonstop for two days. She dropped Alice of and took her other pug , Bethany, home. Ethan called her cell. “ I couldn’t reach your land line. Are you busy?”

“ I was  at the vet's. One of my pugs is sick. I just left her and came home. “

“Can I come over?”  Ethan asked  with somewhat of a broken voice.

“Sure. Are you alright?” Helen asked  surprised at his request.

“ I want to discuss something with you”

Helen was on the phone with the vet when she heard a knock on the door.  The vet said she could pick up Alice in two days.  Helen went to the door and opened it.  It was Ethan. He was dressed rather more casually than she had seen him last. He was wearing a blue flannel shirt and faded jeans with loafers . He wore no socks. He wore a worn, woolen blue blazer over his shirt.   Helen wondered why he wanted to talk to her.

“Hi, Ethan come on in. “ Helen led Ethan over to the couch in the living room and she sat down in a chair opposite him. Ethan had a rather haggard look on his face like he had just tumbled out of bed.

Helen asked “ What’s up?” with a tenacious smile  on her face.

Her pug, Bethany was eating food in the kitchen and failed to accost Ethan at the door. Ethan nervously ran his hand through his hair.

“I was wondering if I could talk to you about your faith in God”  Ethan said slowly.

“What do you want to know?”

“How do you know that God exists?”, asked Ethan.

Helen took a moment to answer him. “ I was raised a Christian from an early age. I read the Bible at the age of nine. I guess I have always believed in God”.

“Where does your faith come from?” asked Ethan.

“I suppose it comes from reading the Bible and what I was taught and my parent’s example.”

“When I read the Bible for the first time at the age of 14 I had the opposite reaction. I felt that a compassionate God would not allow suffering  in the world. “  

“I am asking these questions because something peculiar has happened to me.  The young lady I told you about, Christie, whom I was seeing broke up with me . She found my phone and found numbers and text messages from other women. She said I was dishonest and a womanizer and left me.Helen I am 43 years old. I am really getting tired of being single. I know I shouldn’t have been sleeping around  but I was not serious with Christie until recently. I re-read your Angel series and I began to question my beliefs. That hasn’t happened to me since I was a young lad in college. I began to talk aloud to myself and then I started to call on God’s name. It was strange but it comforted me. I felft better. I went to the Episcopal church on the corner of my building and sat there for a while. I began to pray again. A priest came up to me and wanted to know if I wanted to talk. I told him no I was alright. Helen reading your books has made me wonder if I am wrong about God. I still don’t’ understand why God allows suffering nor do I completely believe in Jesus but I can’t call myself and atheist anymore.”

Helen looked at Ethan and wanted to cry. It was wonderful seeing the seeds of faith take hold of a man who was once an atheist. Ethan was talking to the coffee table in front of him and averted his eyes from hers. Helen swallowed and said” Ethan, I believe God is working on your heart. Be open to Him. “

“ I need to say that your book The Last War has shaken me to the core. I never understood God’s point of view in the suffering of others. You depictions of the Angels made me go through my own life and find instances where I suspect an Angel may have been involved. I have always believed that we are dealt the hand we are given randomly and that there is no rhyme or reason to what happens to us. I re-read parts of the Bible and found that I was agreeing with what was being written .I wonder if God does exist and how he wants me to live. I have decided that I should be celibate for the time being until I can make some decisions about my life. “

“Ethan, as your friend I am there for you.” Helen lightly put her hand on his. His had was on his thigh it opened and grabbed her hand.

“That’s the thing. I don’t want you to be just a  friend”  said Ethan.

Helen was puzzled by what he meant by that.

“I want you to be my lady”  Ethan said slowly and with purpose.

Helen looked at Ethan’s eyes the corners of them were creased in a smile.

“I don’t know, Ethan. I know you are beginning to reach out to God. I don’t want to be a distraction”

“I don’t think you would distract me. I think you would help me. Your writing is affecting my heart in a way that hasn’t happened before.  When I talked about my girlfriend you never judged me. You have been patient with me and a good friend. When I read The Last War I began to love God and to love you.“ “Ethan.” Suddenly a rush of stark loneliness engulfed her. She reached out to him and hugged him. They held each other on the couch for what seemed an eternity. Helen felt years of loneliness she felt melt away. When they broke away Ethan gently placed his hand on Helen’s face. He kissed her.

As they held hands on the couch Helen  said “ I go to a Presbyterian church  would you like to come visit? “

Ethan smiled and said “ Yes, I’d like that although I am also interested in the Episcopalian church near my home. Would you mind going there with me sometime?”

“ Yes I would love to go. “ Helen heard barking coming from the kitchen and went to investigate. “ Bethany was barking at the back door for some reason. Helen called out.

“I think I need to take Bethany for a walk do you want to come with me?”

Ethan said in the kitchen doorway. “I’d love to”

Ethan took Bethany for a walk with Ethan at her side. They held hands as they walked down the street. Neighbors looked out there houses in curiosity. They walked to a park and played with Bethany for a while. When they got back to the house the phone rang. It was Columbia Studios  they wanted Helen to pitch her screenplay for The Sociopath. Helen was so excited she hugged Ethan. She was going to go to LA next week and meet with film executives.  The first movie in her Angels series would be coming out by winter. She felt so much better about her career.

As the months rolled by Ethan and Helen’s relationship seemed to blossom. Ethan would only admit that he was an agnostic and not a Christian. Helen felt it was only a matter of time before Ethan was going to become a Christian.

They did fun things together as a couple. They usually went out on the weekends. Dinner, movies, the zoo, outings in the mountains, picnics, . Helen split her time between the Presbyterian church she went to and the Episcopalian church Ethan liked.

Helen  often slept in the morning after staying up all night. She often took red-eye flights when she traveled because it was more compatible to her sleep schedule. Helen knew she was not being honest with Ethan. She still needed to tell him about her bipolar disorder. She was feeding her pugs when she realized that she had known Ethan a year and that it was  October 2004. She needed to tell him.

Ethan was aware of Helen’s sleep schedule. He thought it was odd but didn’t question it.Helen invited Ethan over for dinner that week. She was going to tell him. Helen used her slow cooker to prepare a roast , mashed potatoes, salad, and cherry pie for dessert. The night before they were supposed to have dinner, Ethan called at one o’clock in the morning.

“Hello, Helen? “ Ethan asked.

“Hello Ethan I am up just working, I haven’t gone to bed yet”

There was a small pause over the line. “I have something to tell you. I am thinking of joining a year-long mission to South America.

Helen paused. “Really?”

“Ethan I have something I need to tell you. “

“What’s that , darling” Ethan asked innocently.

“ I should have told you this when we first started dating but I have Bipolar Disorder. Are you familiar with it?”

A pause on the phone “  Yes,  is that manic depression? “

“Yes”  I have had it for twenty years. I was diagnosed in college. I take medication for it. I don’t go manic anymore  but sometimes when I am stressed out I have bouts of depression. My strange sleep schedule is due to my Bipolar Disorder. “

“I see” Ethan said with some dispassion.

“ I haven’t had any depressions lately because I have been so happy but I do get depressed and I have to do things like cognitive therapy and make sure I am taking my medication. “

“Helen, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I just  kept putting it off and I was afraid I was going to lose you.”

“Helen you haven’t lost me. I think that it’s amazing that you are able to keep a career in writing with such a challenging condition. I need to tell you thought that I may be going to South America next month. “

“That soon?”

“Yes and Helen , I would appreciate it if you didn’t follow me there.

“Why is that? “

“I need to work out my relationship with God. When I have done that I will send for you. “

“Ethan are you still having dinner with me tomorrow night? “

“Yes, darling”

“Ethan, now that I have found you, I don’t want to lose you.

“You haven’t lost me , darling. This is only  temporary.”

 

Park Hill Duplex October 5, 2004

Ethan came over with red roses and gave them to Helen. They sat down and ate dinner and Helen kept apologizing for not telling Ethan of her condition. He kept telling her that he forgave her and that her writing impressed him even more. He talked about the mission with excitement in his eyes. It would be a year long  and minister to an orphanage in South America.  Ethan related that his work had become stale and boring and pointless. He was done being an attorney.

The next month Ethan was gone and Helen was heartbroken. She wrote to the address that Ethan gave her but got no response. A year passed and  no word from Ethan. Helen stopped writing. She figured that when Ethan found God he left her behind. 

One year turned into two, then three, then four, then five , then six.  Helen worked on her novels and screenplays and became fairly successful. Ethan never contacted her. When she tried to contact him she got  nowhere. She wondered if something bad had befallen him in South America. She stopped thinking about him and went on with her life. At times she played the “what if” game and wondered if she could have married Ethan. Men sometimes approached her for dates but she refused. She figured that she was a widow and that she was done with dating or marriage.

March 2 , 2010 Denver Press Club.

Helen had come home from and productive trip to LA to pitch a screenplay. She joined a small book club in Denver through an online service and went every month. Someone nominated one of her books for the discussion and she went that night.

At the discussion a man who looked part Asian sat next to her. Her new novel was called Communion; the story of Jesus as a vampire. People had interesting questions for her as she sat in the discussion. The group broke up and people were standing around talking. Most people enjoyed the book though some thought it was a little too violent for a vampire novel .

The man who sat next to her was getting coffee at the same time she was and started talking to her. He related that vampire novels were his favorite genre and he appreciated her novel. It wasn’t that Twighlight crap that he felt ruined vampires. Helen laughed at that. She noticed that this man was in fairly good shape. She asked him what he did for a living. He said he was a fire fighter. He supervised fire fighters for a local fire house in Lakewood. Helen was impressed. He introduced himself as Frank Tanaka. Helen shook his hand and gave him her name. She asked him what other hobbies he had beside the book club. He said he practiced Japanese Fencing ; called Kendo. Helen said that was interesting. She remembered a James Bond movie e where she saw Kendo demonstrated. She also read a book about the famous female samurai Tomoe Gozen .He said he was familiar with her. They stood around for a minute and Frank asked Helen out for some coffee. Suddenly  Helen remembered Ethan and that innocent invitation for coffee that proved disastrous. She felt a pang of loneliness that stabbed her in the heart. She had kept busy with her career, but her social life suffered. She had plenty of girlfriends and people from her writing that she met but no romantic ties. She said yes. She gave him her numbers and her address. They set up a date for the next week.

Cup O’ Joe’s  March 15, 2010 Denver, CO

Helen got some coffee while waiting for Frank Tananka to arrive. She felt nervous. She didn’t know what he wanted and hoped that he was a Christian. She didn’t want  to go through being with another atheist.  Helen was deep in thought . When she looked up Frank was standing there.

“Helen?” , Frank asked.

Jolted out of her reverie Helen said “Hello, Frank. Come sit down.”

Frank sat down across from her in the booth. He was holding a Chai Latte. He took a sip and said, “ I’m glad you came. “

“Are you busy at the fire house?” Helen asked.

“I am off today. I will be working the next thirty-six hours. “

“You said you are a supervisor. Do you go to fires?”

“Not usually. I supervise  and provide backup only when a fire fighter calls in.”

“Why did you want to become a fire fighter?

“I grew up watching super -hero movies and reading comic books. I wanted to be a hero. I wasn’t great at math and science like my parents. I thought about joining the military but I settled on being a fire fighter. My parents weren’t happy about it at first because the wanted me to go to college. They got used to it eventually.How about you ? Why did you become a writer?  “

 

Helen said, “Growing up I always had my nose in a book. I read everything I could get my hands on. I loved writing stories. I was a lonely kid and didn’t have any friends in school so writing was a great comfort to me. When I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in college I started writing professionally and procured an agent. I can make my own hours and I make pretty good money. I enjoy watching my stories come to life in books and films. I really enjoy it.

“You have bipolar disorder? “ Frank asked with concern in his voice.

“ Yes. I take medication for it and have been stable for over 25 years. I don’t get manic much anymore  although I do get depressed if I am stressed out.  I need to be disciplined with my diet and sleep. I sleep in the mornings and stay up at night. My doctor says I have Circadian Rhythm Disorder. It’s a side effect of the bipolar disorder. “

“I am surprised that you can work so much.  My sister has bipolar disorder and she is on disability. She has been for years. I struggle with depression at times especially during the winter. “

“I hope this doesn’t put you off.” Helen commented tentatively.

“Not at all, Helen. I understand your struggles because my sister has had them for years. She’s five years younger than me and struggles with psycho-affective disorder. She has a hard time taking her meds and is in the hospital at least once every few months. “

“I am so relieved.” Helen said with a sigh.

“What are you r thoughts on God?” Helen asked quietly.

“I am a Catholic. Been raised Catholic all my life. I attended a Catholic boys school. My father is a Buddhist but my mother is Catholic. We attend  The Epiphany in Lakewood. I have gone there all my life.”

Helen let out a deep breath. She felt like she could breathe. She wanted to laugh at how God blessed her with someone she could relate to. She was protestant and didn’t understand Catholicism but she was willing to learn.

“ I don’t understand the Priesthood thing or the Pope thing or the Mary thing.  I would like to learn though.”

“The Apostle Peter was the first Pope. The priesthood developed to compete with pagan and  Jewish religions, Mary is venerated in the Church but people misunderstand that as worship. I hope that helps.”

“I see. Are you devoted?”

“I can’t always attend church because of work. I go to confession at least once a month and I  tithe my income. I try to go to Mass during the week if I can’t make it to church on Sunday. I volunteer at the church and do other activities when I am able.”

“How long have you been single?”

“I was married for 3 years I have been divorced for one year.”

“ I have been a widow for ten years. My husband was killed in front of our house in a hit-and -run. He was just going out to get the mail when a drunk driver swerved on to our lawn and hit him. We never found who did it. Some neighbors saw what happened and tried to help my husband. I came out and found him lying by our porch. I called 911 but it was too late. “

“I am so sorry, Helen.” Frank said quietly.

Helen smiled and said “ I feel like God is teaching me to make the most of every day and opportunity . I had a bad breakup several years ago. I am trying to move on from that. I cared about him very much but he left me to find God and I haven’t heard from him in years. “

“I am struggling to move on from my wife but she is being very resentful . She is trying to get more money from me in alimony payments. I told her I don’t make much as a fire fighter but she wants to go back to college and wants me to pay for it. “

 

As the afternoon went on Helen and Frank talked about many topics. Helen learned that Frank also had a younger brother who was seven years younger and was a computer software engineer.  He did not struggle with bipolar disorder or depression.  He lived in LA California and had a small son and wife. Frank said that his father died from  colon cancer five years ago and he was taking care of his mother who didn’t have social security because she was a housewife. She was seventy and was doing well and was healthy.

Helen and Frank walked home holding hands. When they got to the door Frank gave Helen a hug.  Helen came in with her dogs and sat down on the couch and cried. It was a good cry. Finally she had let go of the pain Ethan caused. She tried not to think about Ethan but he would often come to her mind at times when she was lonely and reflective." Six years was a long time to hold on to these feelings" , Helen thought. She was so glad she accepted Frank’s invitation.

Park Hill Duplex  August 1, 2010

Helen was in the kitchen feeding per pugs when the phone rang.  She didn’t recognize the number and answered it . “Hello?”

“Is this Helen Banks?”

“Yes.”

“I am Fumiko Tanaka , Frank’s ex-wife?”

“Why are you calling me and how did you get this number?”

“I got it from his phone when he came over to give me a check.  Are you his girlfriend?”

“I am seeing him, yes” Helen knew this would not end well.

“Did you know that I had a miscarriage six months after the divorce?”

“No he hasn’t told me much about your marriage.”

“We are trying to reconcile and you are in the way. I suggest that you break it off with my husband. He is not being honest with you. “

“Frank hasn’t mentioned to me that you want to reconcile. He has said that you wanted more alimony to pay for college. I need to talk to Frank before I make a decision to break up with him.”

“We are planning on starting a family. Frank needs  you out of his life. You are a distraction. “

“Ms. Tanaka, I need to go. I will consider what you said. Goodbye”

She hung up abruptly. Helen sat there and wondered what Frank wasn’t saying about his marriage to Fumiko. She called Frank. He wasn’t there . She left a message to have him come over anytime today even if it is late. She knew he might be working at the Fire House. When he came over at two am on a Friday, Helen was relieved to see him. She told him about Fumiko’s call. He was surprised. He said he left his phone in the kitchen to get something from the attic at the house where Fumiko was living . He was still paying rent on the house. They agreed to do that until Fumiko could find a job. Frank said he wasn’t trying reconcile with his ex-wife. He said that ,yes ,she had a miscarriage six months after the divorce. She wanted to reconcile with him but he wasn’t willing to. He said his father arranged the marriage between Fumiko and him. He introduced her to him and cultivated their dating relationship. He was not  fully committed to the marriage anyway. He wanted children but realized that he wasn’t in love with Fumiko. When he found out she was pregnant he was sort of willing to reconcile but when she had a miscarriage he changed his mind. Frank said he wasn’t being dishonest with Helen. He truly didn’t’ want to reconcile with her . Helen said “Then your ex-wife is badly misinformed.”

“ I don’t know why she called you”

“She wants to reconcile with you, obviously.”

“Helen I really tried to keep my marriage together but Fumiko was stubborn. She wanted things her way. She wanted children. I was willing to give them to her but she didn’t respect me and my profession as a fire fighter. She wanted me to go to school and get an associate’s degree in computers. I told her I didn’t want to do that. She was stressed out about me being a fire fighter and risking my neck every day. She is jealous and controlling and I won’t have it. I will talk to her.”

“ I would appreciate that. If she calls again I will get another phone. “  Helen reached up and kissed Frank. It was more passionate than usual. Helen thought Frank was trying to show her that he cared for her.

In the morning Helen was making coffee when she heard the phone ring. It was Frank. He said he talked to Fumiko and warned her never to call Helen again. Fumiko threatened to take him to court over the alimony so he offered to pay for half of her schooling and she would get student loans and grants to cover the rest. Fumiko agreed not to call again. Helen was relieved.

As the months went on Helen and Frank grew close. Helen started to go to the Epiphany more and more. She even talked to Father Watson, the priest at the parish, about various issues she had with the Catholic church. She volunteered with Frank in various activities to reach out to the homeless and serve the elderly in the parish.

Helen felt so close to Frank. She was immensely proud of him and his job as a fire fighter. She even asked him to teach her to use the Naginata that Tomoe Gozen used as a weapon. He was impressed with this and touched that she would ask him something like that. They had a few training sessions. Helen felt a little awkward and clumsy with the weapon but she enjoyed Frank teaching her about the Naginata and how he was so patient.

Helen would watch Frank at kendo tournaments and was totally impressed. Frank was not always happy with his performance but Helen was so proud and attracted to him.

 

 

 

24- Hour Fitness  July 1 ,20010

It was four am and Helen was at the gym. She had just finished writing a screenplay and was feeling restless. She hoped the screenplay would sell. She wasn’t sure. It was about a religion called the Goddess and about a society of women on another planet who worshipped the Goddess. She was proud of the screenplay and hoped she could pitch it to Columbia Studios who produced The Sociopath. She felt good about Columbia Studios because they accepted her controversial work. The re-write went well.

She got off the treadmill and looked at her phone. There was a missed call. She thought it might be Frank calling from a fire. She didn’t recognize the number. She clicked on the number and called it.

“Hello?” She didn’t recognize the voice.

“This is Helen Banks you called my cell phone?”

“Mrs. Banks , yes. There’s been an accident . Frank wanted me to call you. It was the last thing he wanted me to do for him”

A sinking feeling came over Helen. “The last thing? Is Frank alright? “

“Not ma’am he died in a fire several hours ago. He radioed when he was trapped in a building and couldn’t get out. He wanted to tell you that he wanted to marry you and that he was sorry that he couldn’t do that.”

Helen sat on the treadmill Her legs had given way. She started hyperventilating . Frank was gone? Gone? “Frank?” He was so strong and healthy. How could he die?  Why was he at the fire? He was  a supervisor. Was he covering for someone? He said sometimes he did that. What was going on? “

“Ma’am my name is Brandon Hollingsworth I worked with Frank. He was filling in for another fire fighter. The fire engulfed the building in record time. The structure began to collapse before we could go in. It became too hot to go in in time to get Frank. Ma’am I am so sorry. “

“Do, do you have the recording of his last call? “ Helen felt that reality was crumbling around her.

“Yes. “

“I would like to hear it. “

“Come to the fire house today and I can get it for you.”

“I will”. Helen sat on the treadmill and held her phone she wanted to scream in agony. She wanted to rip all her clothes off and sit naked in ashes like Job. Instead she sat there on the treadmill crying. Someone came up to her and asked if she was  ok. She said no; she just lost her boyfriend in a fire. The person sat down next to her and reached out their  hand. She sat there with the stranger holding his hand until she could get herself together and leave the gym.

It was ten o’clock that same morning. Helen was so depressed that she didn’t take a shower. She just got dressed  and drove to the fire house. She walked in and saw some people in the foyer.

“Does  anyone know where Brandon Hollingsworth is? “ Helen said in a loud voice. Her voice was scratchy because she had been crying all night.

“I know where he is ma’am let me take you to him. “  A uniformed fire fighter said as he was sitting on the couch.

He led her to an office in the back of the building. Brandon Hollingsworth was sitting at his desk writing something on a piece paper. He looked up and said “ Mrs. Banks?”

Helen said quietly “Yes”

He immediately stood up and shook Helen’s hand.

“Hello, I am Brandon Hollingsworth, Frank’s boss I am sorry for the circumstances that caused us to meet. “

“Mr. Hollingsworth what happened to  my boyfriend? “

“He died in a fire yesterday in Commerce City. He was responding to a fire in a building near the highway.It was an industrial structure and it was burning pretty fiercely. He was taking over for a fire fighter that was injured in a previous fire a few weeks ago. He radioed that he was trapped. We tried to go in  and get him when the building collapsed. I am sorry ma’am we did everything that we can do. “

“You said you  had his last call” Helen said hoarsely.

“Yes we do, ma’am. Let me get that for you.” He left his office and walked out the door. He came in a few minutes later with what looked like a wallkie talkie (tm). He put it on his desk. Helen sat down and braced herself to hear her boyfriend’s voice. “

The re was static and then. “Engine 52, Engine 52 I am trapped in the building I can’t get out. Oh, God. I really blew it. Please tell my girlfriend, Helen Banks that  I wanted to marry her but I am sorry. Oh so sorry Baby. I can’t get out. I don’t think I am going to make it. Oh Jesus, Oh Mary Mother of God. Oh God….” More static and then silence. “

Helen’s heart imploded. She was starting to hyperventilate again. Mr.Hollingsworth handed her a glass of water in a mug. Her hand shook as she took it. She took a few sips. She had nothing to say. Nothing to offer. She had nothing. She sat in silence for what seemed an eternity. “The family is coming in today.Do you want them to hear this recording?”

“Yes , I do. It was his last call. It was his voice. I think they would want to hear it.”

“They are coming in at noon. Did you want to wait for them?” Mr. Hollingsworth asked gently.

“How did you get my number?”

Mr. Hollingsworth said “Frank had your number on file for emergencies. “

“I would like to wait for the family”

“You can do that over here, Mrs. Banks. “ Mr. Hollingsworth led Helen over to the main foyer and showed her the couch. “

Helen sat down and cried. Someone handed her a mug with water in it. Helen sat there and cried herself out. No one disturbed her . it was very quiet. Everyone stayed out the room and gave her  space.

“Mrs. Banks? “ Mr. Hollingsworth asked quietly.

“We have his belongings. Is there anything in this that you would  like.?”

Helen looked up. Mr. Hollingsworth was holding a large box. It had things that were in Frank’s locker. His gear was still in the locker. These were personal things he kept. He put the box down in front of her. She immediately spotted a leather journal and a King James Bible with the cover on it. With an unsteady hand she took out the journal and the Bible on top of it. She held them close to herself for a moment and then put them in her bag.

“That’s al I want, I think.”

She looked through the box and discovered a ring box. She opened it. It was an engagement ring. Helen started breathing heavily. The oxygen left her body immediately. If Fumiko knew about this she would be livid. She put the ring in the box and put the box in her bag. Maybe she should leave. If Frank’s family found out that she had these things they might take them away from her. No. She wanted to make sure that his mother and sister and brother were ok.

She sat on the couch and later Mr. Hollingsworth came by and took the box away. She sat on the couch for the next hour. She hoped Fumiko wasn’t going to be there but she wasn’t sure. She didn’t want a big confrontation with Fumiko.

12 O’clock came and she heard some commotion at the door. A older woman with a man and a woman who looked slightly Asian walked in. Mr. Hollingsworth was called and he walked in. He greeted the family and pointed to Helen. They looked over at her sitting on the couch. The older woman walked over and said “ Are you my Frankie’s girlfriend?”

“Helen said “Yes.”

“My name is Beth Tanaka these are my children Luke and Purity. Helen stood up and shook each hand.

“I am so sorry, Mrs. Tanaka.”

“ I didn’t want him to do this job. It’s not safe. He insisted though.  He was always a helpful child but a bit of an adrenaline freak. He was always falling off a building or his bike. He broke his arm three times when he was twelve. I was afraid this might happen. Fumiko can’t bear to come today. She is in shock. I know this sounds insensitive but I would appreciate It if you didn’t attend the funeral. Fumiko is so angry with you. It would only cause a disturbance” . Just when Helen thought she couldn’t breathe anymore she lost still more oxygen.

“Mrs. Tanaka , I need to say goodbye to Frank. I need to go to his funeral.” Helen said in a controlled voice. She wanted to yell at this woman.

“Like I said Fumiko is distraught she would not tolerate your presence at her husband’s funeral. I’m so sorry.”

“ I understand” Helen bowed her head and thought of the ring and the journal and the Bible. They must not know she has them.

Helen looked at Luke and Purity who were standing behind their mother.  Tears were in their eyes. Luke put his hand on his mother’s shoulder. Helen turned and walked away. She sat in her car for an eternity just crying and crying. She heard a rap on her window. It was Mr. Hollingsworth.

“Are you alright?”, He asked.

“They don’t want me at Frank’s funeral because of Fumiko his ex-wife. I am devastated. “

“I’m so sorry Mrs. Banks that is incredibly hard. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Please don’t tell them that I have his things. I don’t want them to take them away from me. “

“ I won’t . I can arrange a private ceremony just for you if you would like. We can schedule it before the family arrives.”

“I would appreciate that. Mr. Hollingsworth.”

“Call me Brandon, Mrs. Banks. “

Lakewood Fire house , engine 52 July 10, 2010

Helen arrived early at the behest of Mr. Hollingsworth. He said he could give her a private viewing before the family arrived and before they put the coffin on the engine for the procession to the Epiphany. Helen walked in and saw a coffin. It was closed. Frank’s body had been burned in the fire. Helen bought a chain and put Frank’s engagement ring on it. She wore it around her neck. It gave her comfort. She put it on under her blouse so no one could see it. She was feeling better. The first few days were pretty rough. She put her pugs in the Doggy Day Care because she didn’t know if she could take care of  them that week. She slept and tried to stay showered and shampooed. It was hard. She canceled all her appointments for the week. She just watched movies and looked at pictures on her phone of her and Frank.They were fooling around one day and he sent her a picture of himself shirtless. She wanted Frank. He was handsome and well built. She  was looking forward to having sex with him when they got married. She hoped she would marry him some day.

Later Helen went to the Epiphany to talk to Father Watson.She no longer wanted to go to church, but she had to talk to someone who knew Frank.  She talked to him about her grief and her feelings that God was somehow punishing her because two men she fell in love with were gone. Father Watson counseled her not to get bitter and angry toward God. God does not punish people by taking loved ones away from us. Loved ones are in a better place and God is taking care of Frank in heaven. Marriage to him wasn’t God’s will. You need to pray that God answers the desires of your heart. If you want to get married again someday you will. Helen said she wanted Frank. Father Watson said it wasn’t meant to be. Frank was a devout Catholic. He loved God. God called him home. Helen picked up her dogs and took them to the park. She sat on a bench praying to God She poured her heart out and cried out to God in the anguish of her heart. She was there for a long time just playing with her dogs and praying to God. She  got home and felt much better. She made something to eat, took a sleeping pill, and took  a nap.

Helen took a red-eye to LA later that week. She pitched her screen play to the film company that produced her Angel  series. She felt that she had a good chance since they had produced three of her books already. She pitched it and went back home to wait for their decision. She was poking around the duplex when there was a knock on the door.  She opened the door and almost fell over. It was Ethan. He was a little thinner and his blonde hair had grey streaks in it . He was wearing a black shirt with a priest’s collar on it. Helen was in shock.

“Hello, Helen. “  Ethan smiled a little self-consciously.

“O my God, Ethan?  Where the hell how you been?”

“I was in South America for two years then I moved to New Mexico to go to Seminary school. I am an Episcopal priest now. “

“You could have contacted me , Ethan. It’s been six years.”

“I know, darling. I am so sorry. I contracted TB in South America. My wife nursed me back to health and then we moved to New Mexico to help a small parish there. I am fluent in Spanish so I was a help to them. My wife died of  brain cancer that metastasized from her ovarian cancer and died a year ago. I was devastated. I didn’t forget about you , dear. I just had so much going on. I thought eventually you would move on. I am so sorry. I was wrong. “

Helen felt like slamming the door in his face until she looked into his eyes. She paused and saw sadness and remorse in them.  It melted her heart and all the anger she felt at him for years melted away. Helen stepped back said “Come in, Ethan”

They sat on the couch and Ethan pulled out a small picture album that he had in his bag. He showed her pictures of his wife and the people in the orphanage in South America. He showed her pictures of the people in the church in New Mexico. It was the Iglesias Messiah  Episcopal  Church in New Mexico. He showed her the children at the parish and how he became the church’s youth minister.

 

“So  how are things with you?” Ethan asked cheerfully.

 Helen looked up at Ethan and said with a broken voice.  “I just buried my boyfriend, Ethan”

Ethan gasped. “ Oh my goodness, Helen. I am so very sorry. “

“ He was a fire fighter he died in  a fire. He was a red-blooded American hero and I lost him. ”

“I am so sorry for your  loss.  When I lost my wife I was devastated . I had to move back to Colorado to find some solace. “

Helen pulled out the ring around her neck. “See this? It was in his locker; he was going to propose. I don’t know when he was going to do that but soon. I heard a recording of him saying that he wanted to marry me and that he was sorry because he was   going to die. Ethan I am so heartbroken. “

Ethan reached out to her and held her hand. He put his other hand over hers and just held her hand as she burst into tears. They sat together on the couch for a long time. Helen felt comforted . She suspected that Ethan was a good priest.

“Was it because I have bipolar disorder that you left me?” Helen asked.

“No, darling. I was very interested in you. I wanted to seek out God and expand my faith. I truly planned to send for you when the  mission was over. South America was devastated by floods and the orphanage was destroyed . I had to stay an extra year to rebuild the orphanage. I met my wife at the orphanage. She was one of the teachers there. I totally did not expect to fall in love with another woman. You were always on my heart. I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you that I had found another woman. Eventually I figured that you would move on and find a husband yourself. It was wrong for me not to contact you after I got back from South America.”

“Ethan, I need you.” Helen said slowly as she looked into his eyes. Those beautiful  eyes had more wisdom in them somehow, more compassion.

“I am here now, darling . I am not going anywhere.”  Ethan said hoarsely.

Helen reached out to Ethan and said quietly “ Hold me.”

They embraced for what seemed like  an eternity. Helen began to cry. They were tears of grief but also relief that she didn’t have experience this alone. She held on to him tightly and Ethan chanted “It’s alright, darling, it’s alright. “

Helen calmed down and broke away from Ethan. “Do you want some coffee or tea?”

“That would be nice, Helen. Some  coffee would be good. I am afraid you Americans do not know how to make a decent cup of tea. “ Ethan chuckled. And Helen laughed. It was the first laugh she had had in days.

Helen made the coffee and  Ethan sat on the couch. “My pugs are old ladies now. “ , Helen said. Ethan said,” Yes they would be. I forgot about them. How are they?”

“Alice is going blind but Bethany is ok.”

Ethan and Helen  talked the afternoon away. When  Ethan got to the door he turned around and kissed Helen on the cheek. Helen’s heart melted. Ethan got settled in his  new church and   parish. He wanted  Helen to visit  his church but she said she couldn’t  if it was too much like a Catholic service. It would remind her too much of Frank.  Eventually she did visit. It was on a day that Ethan was preaching. She really liked how he did his sermon. He did it on heros. It was as if he as making homage to Frank. She told him that she really appreciated the sermon. Ethan introduced her to his friends and co-workers as “my Ladyfriend”. Helen liked that. They had dinner after church at Helen’s house. She made a roast, mashed  potatoes, salad, spinach and chocolate cake for dessert.

Ethan said he had a surprise and went out to his car. He came back in with a box with holes in it. He opened the box and handed her a black kitten. “Do you think your old ladies  can tolerate a new friend?” Helen squealed. She took the cat and said “ I am going to name you Maude.  Is it a girl?” Ethan said “Yes”. Helen got up with the kitten in her arm and hugged Ethan. She paused and kissed him. Their kiss was long and involved tongue. She was so happy. She still missed Frank but she was healing. Helen had her house keys duplicated and gave a set to Ethan. Ethan said there were people at the parish and he didn’t need her to have his keys.  She started to go exclusively to Morning Star Episcopal Church,  Ethan’s parish.  She met new people and Ethan’s friends and eventually became a member. People at her Presbyterian church still saw her during the week. They were curious as to why she changed membership  but remained friends with her.

At dinner one night at Helen’s duplex, Ethan presented her with a cross. It was worn by his wife. Helen was speechless. He got down on one knee and proposed. She said yes. Their engagement was announced at church the next Sunday and they had a small engagement lunch at the parish. Helen put away Frank’s engagement ring in a special place. She prayed to God that he was happy in heaven.

Helen was at home one day when the phone rang. She picked up the phone.

“Helen Banks?”

“Yes?” The voice sounded familiar but she couldn’t place it.

“I am Fumiko Tanaka, do you remember me?”

“Yes. “ Helen said with dread.

“ I am calling to apologize to you for not letting you be at Frank’s funeral. My mother -in-law said she heard the recording of Frank and he wanted to get married to you.  “

“Yes. Are you alright?”

“I am coping with the loss. Can you forgive me? I feel  horrible. Of course you could have gone. My mother-in-law misunderstood my feelings. ”

“I do forgive you Fumiko. I am so sorry for your loss.”

“We are having a special service for Frank on his birthday you are more than welcome to come. I will call you with the details when they are hashed out. “

“I do appreciate that Fumiko, thank you. “

Helen hung up the phone and stood there crying. She was so touched by Fumiko’s remorse. She really wanted to get to know Frank’s family. They seemed like sweet people.

Helen was at the airport from a pitching session in LA when she felt  peculiar. She got home and felt even stranger. She laid down on the sofa and passed out.  Her landline rang and her cell rang but she didn’t pick up. Ethan was trying to get a hold of her. At first he thought her flight came in late. When it was one o’clock in the morning and he still couldn’t reach her he went to her duplex. He walked in and saw her on the couch. He tried to wake her up for several minutes then he called 911. The paramedics couldn’t’ revive her so they took her to the hospital. She was breathing but unconscious.

The doctors at the hospital asked if Ethan was her husband. He said yes because he knew that with HIPPA laws they can deny him access. The doctor came in after a few hours and said that she had a heart attack. She may have a valve problem but more tests need to be made. The doctor said she was awake and that he could go see her.

Helen was awake now and was told that she had a heart attack. She was surprised at that. Years ago she lost sixty pounds. She thought she was fine. The doctor said she may have a faulty heart valve. More tests needed to be done. Ethan came in with a concerned look on his face.

“Darling are you alright?”

“I am fine I guess. I didn’t get that much sleep.”

“You were passed out on the couch. I called the paramedics.”

“ They say I had a heart attack. I didn’t  think I was being that unhealthy”

“It may be your heart valve, the doctor said.Darling ,you scared me to death. I thought I’d lost you.”

“I may need surgery. We just can’t get married right away, that’s all.”

“ I made a fib. I said you were my wife.”  Ethan said sheepishly.

“ You weren’t completely lying, honey.”

“I don’t have my collar on so I made up that story. You don’t have to go along with it if you don’t want to.”

“Fumiko, Frank’s ex-wife , called me. She apologized for keeping me away from Frank’s funeral. She invited me to a service on Frank’s birthday next month. “

“ A prayer has been answered , my sweet.”

 It was determined that  Helen  had a faulty heart valve and it needed a replacement. The surgery went well and Helen spent six weeks recuperating. Ethan served Helen lovingly and  had  the people at Morning Star cook her meals , walk the dogs , and clean the apartment.

All Helen wanted was a man of God who loved her and she found him the most peculiar way. Ethan and Helen were married the next year and Helen put aside her writing for a short while until she got used to being a priest’s wife. Helen prayed prayers of thankfulness fo her husband,  Ethan and Frank. She loved thrice in her life and felt lucky to have the men in her life that she had.