Windowless Door

This self-imposed darkness
I have put in place
Runs like wildly tumbling water
in my veins
Expressing itself as I release in words
from each pore
All of my self-imposed pain

This proud isolation
that I hold myself captive within
Contains no flowers
to brighten its view
Only my infatuation with this sentence
I have imposed
On myself
and these chains I wear too

In fleeting expressions
of freedom
to be found
I stare longingly
at a windowless door
Then tremble in fear and confusion
at the mere thought
Of even walking across the floor

My idealized image
of how my life should be
Holds me captive
here in my own war
I am the only one who can release me
from this space
Untie myself
walk out my windowless door

Reviews

[realmwriter]

Wow! This is perhaps my favorite of yours Neva. You deal with a topic rarely seen in your writings and you do it with the same ease and beauty as with those of enlightenment. Fear is indeed crippeling and can rendour us both powerless and imobile. Nice job!

[Inyourshadow]

One of my earliest pieces spoke that if the eyes are the windows to the soul then I would hold yours open and let you escape, I feel the phrase worthy from one friend to another, you pen the pain of isolation not away from others but within oneself. I know the feeling well with anti-social paranoid depression ( say that while chewing gum lol ) The poem is dark but not depressive for it shows a spark of hope with the last 4 lines. keep em' coming

[Rene Velez]

a telling piece of writing, a feeling we all share from time to time...fear is a like a tossed coin flipping in the air, you can either overcome it and win or let it consume you and lose.

[EMF]

Some poems reach ito your mind and show you a reflection of yourself. This is one of those. Harsh and bitter to the taste, but as well constructed as a filigree cage. Stunning work as ever my friend. Beautifully handled, exploring a subject that is hard for many to understand

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

Emotions are well penned!

[Kenneth The Poet]

This is an excellent piece. One that longs to have fear disappear from our beings. But we are far from ideal, and our minds yearn for it all the time.

Bravo, Neva.

[Kaylor Mason]

Most all limitations we have we place on ourselves, and nearly all fears are imaginary--and you won't walk out the door until you do it, and realize there's nothing to be afraid of. I once heard someone say "courage and fearlessness comes only after you do something." That's true in this poem. The person, if she can force herself to go outside, will realize that there was nothing to fear at all, and she'll be hit by the sunshine. But she won't feel that relief until after she crosses the threshold. Fear is like, the greatest of prisons, you know? If you can't break it, you won't live. Taking the first step is always the hardest part. The rest come easier each time. This poem demonstrates that aspect of life--a major theme that we all deal with. Nice work; I especially liked the "My idealized image of how life should be holds me captive here in my own war"--how true for all of us.

[emmajoy]

Maybe, maybe .. under these circumstances a little creeping, inch by inch by inch is necessary but, never going backwards, only still or forwards. This is such a painful poem to read maybe cos for me it's fact, there have been times .. but fact or fiction, there's no point in shutting out life and light, both are for the taking. As ever, Neva, your words hit home even tho in a controlled manner. You reach into your readers' minds, silently asking them to try and understand. Life without colour is purgaotry, we have to stand and inhale the scents and study the way the breeze dances in petals - that's why they're there,that's why we're here. You're a true writer .. bless you.

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Wow stuunning portral of fear and the phobia...the scene you set is so captivating...brilliant!!!!

[Don Shaw]

Great emotional write.

[Dream Weaver]

I know this feeling of self imposed
purgatory...You've described it
perfectly here.