Internal Battle

Sometimes I get tired of having so little time
and plainly seeing my surroundings
crying out before the scent of dawn
has bloomed.
Can a single cloud breathe in
all of the warm air
that hails my universe,
removing all reason to wake up,
live life and resume?

I look at fleeing ships
whose sails are full of thunder
and I hear a song
dissolving the wildest parts of me.
Each note dances in the breeze
dropping its own melody
inside my heart
until it becomes the only thing
I hear inside my soul
and I struggle to even
breathe.

Author's Note

just a little rant.........

Reviews

[Lily Mae]

Your dark still has a certain softness in it's expression, I think it's because your a passionate woman and it shows through your work.. Now I wouldn't want to make you mad don't get me wrong..but in poetry you still have the magic with the words... ranting with grace and ease..xo

[ShameemAkhtar]

I notice you did not enable Ratings. For a sure bet this is between 95-100+

I do not think anyone can rate this less than that..

One thing I noticed since posting poems on WC, poems that you might regardly very highly might not necessarily strike the same level of response from the general public while others which you feel are less deserving are surprisingly better acclaimed...

Guess that's the beauty of poetry, it evokes different images in different people and everyone gets the picture of his own flavour...

Just sharing an opinion... Neva, you are definitely a writer I follow even if my reviews are very slow in coming... :)

[ShameemAkhtar]

Just a little rant Neva? :)

But even a rant coming off your finger tips is a piece of art...

I understand though where you might be coming from, this wish of having everything just disappear for a while and for life to be so much simpler..

'Can a single cloud breathe in
all of the warm air
that hails my universe'

This might look like very innocent thought. Yet this is so deep. The metaphor is a brilliant one. You use simple words to a stunning effect.

'I look at fleeing ships
whose sails are full of thunder '

Once again brilliant. What I like about this poem is that even though as an adult ranting about life, the words you use project the image of childhood and a very sweet innocence...

[Sleepless]

a feeling i can relate to in so many ways a beautiful rant neva :)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem makes me wonder where love is.
It seems to have left us all alone out there in the wilderness
when it should be chasing us down.

[joshua deathdealer]

Wow awesome work..I loved every line. Well done..xx

[Teri B]

Tumultuous emotions roll over me as I read this...

[KAREN]

Nice rant! It's full of pain and sorrow. And I believe we all feel this way at times.
100/100

[Don Shaw]

Great write

[Dunlack]

Crying out creatively

[nathan]

Ow wow! Now this. . .is js sublime