Separately the Same

Restlessly, he is sitting home all alone
Pulling one petal off at a time
From a flower he has safely hidden away
In the farthest reaches of his mind

With each petal pulled, he says aloud to himself
She loves me, she loves me not
An old childhood game he sits and plays
He thought he had forgot

Miles away she sits restlessly, home all alone
Playing that same old childhood game
He loves me, she says, as she pulls a petal
Then softly whispers his name

He wonders if she ever thinks of him
When she is all alone
She loves me not, he says, pulling a petal
Deciding, he should not phone

He is all she ever thinks and dreams about
Those nights she spends alone
Pulling off petals from that flower in her mind
Always praying that he will phone

He loves me, she loves me not
Pulling petals, in the game
She loves me, He loves me not
Separately, the same

Author's Note

Time wasted by miscommunication.............

Reviews

[fargone]

this is very strong, neva. a perfectly painted picture of sadness and mutual futility. the writing is inevitably splendid, of course. on this occassion, i think that the link between them of the "childish game" is a very clever idea and it works really well. one of ur best for me, my friend :)

[Arthur Henn]

Oh - Neva This Is A Favourite Of Mine Thous Far - This would make a great scene for a movie drop - Split screen at the beginning, hearing this poem of yours narrated as a forward into the story of a romance of trial and error.

Wonderful!

Great Title Too

[Hayley]

Whoa I loved the last line! It flowed so perfectly! This is pretty much a simple poem, it seems to be. It seems time is wasted all the time by miscommunication, and that can be very bad. It's best to just get it out there, the sooner the better.
Great poem!

[Layla J Omorose]

loved it...i have no words for this. To me it is a romance story written into a poem...i think you might have inspired a new story for me...Awesome work.

[Derek S.Keck]

I decided a long time ago that i was done hesitating. People don’t need to fear what others may think or how they might react. i figure it this way, people wouldn't offend a person who was interested or had something in their heart to say; if they were offended, why would you want to be with a person like that? I choose to forever wear my heart on my sleeve.

[Dream Weaver]

I know the game well and miscommunication the culprit.
A very thought provoking piece of emotive poetics xo

[A.G Franke]

simple but strong...it's a very had thing when you both like each other and you have no idea how they feel, but it doens make a good realatoinship builder if you do get togher! I like it!=) espcatilly the catchy rymes! =)

[.]

oh haven't we all been here..you again..managed to build a picture of this in a clever and interesting way

[Ruth]

Excellent way to describe that too love! Beautifully so.....poigant too! The balance is so often the same, isn't it? Excelletn work xx

[☯]

A very sad but very compelling and strong. And, what you referred to is absolutely true. It is the time wasted by miscommunication, and lack of confidence. You painted a perfect image in my mind of the old childhood game. I really enjoyed reading this and the calming serenity in it was amazing. Great job :)

[Veronica Chandler]

Oh my, isn't this one reflective of the truth! The truth rings all over this piece and it is kinda strange because I am witnessing the very same sentiment unfolding between two friends as they sit at home alone playing the "childhood game" it is sheer genious.
The line, "He loves me, she loves me not" for me is the cherry on top of the sundae of this piece; it strikes the heart of the work and the message, which for me begs us to be a littlle braver. I really love this work Neva, and I have to say the images you use often captivate me and I spend a good deal of time drinking them in.