Keystone

If I asked you what you see in me
Would those rivers
Flow the same
A vessel for to hold the sea
Or a levee for to claim

Would you see walls you can absolve
A tree with no leaves
A riddle
No man could ever solve
Or a truth you can believe

Tell me true, what you can see
When your sky
Is not blue
A web interlacing what cannot be
Or one that ties my heart to you

Would you tell me you celebrate the jewel
You've found
For a kingdom of your own
Kept as a keystone
To create a harmonious sound
You cannot compose on your own

Reviews

[Clay Feet]

Neva,

You find me late at night when the concerns of the day have become added to my reflecting pool. My sky is not blue.

If I were a romantic sort with powers to write poetically, I would tell you in flowery verse how beautiful this is. I would tell you that it brings tears to my eyes because it seems as though it was written specifically for me.

At various places I want to interject with a "Yes" or "No" it moves me so.

How I wish I could write like this.

[Solidad]

"If I asked you what you see in me
Would those rivers
Flow the same
A vessel for to hold the sea
Or a levee for to claim"

Sometimes the explanation of "just because" isn't good enough when someone loves you. Its always a want to know "why?" This piece asks that question quite coyly and its almost like lethal flirtation. Good work. :)

[Sylo's Rose]

very nice. i like the way you left keystone out til the end. and how you asked what he sees in you. i realy think that you are a very good writer. i on the other hand suck

[Veronica Chandler]

This one is haunting and I find myself kind lost in the words. "Kept as a keystone to create a harmonious sound" just beautiful and the concept of the Keystone here to hold ideas together so evokes for me a sense of the "Muse" I so enjoy reading your works and the imagry you add to them are just so wonderful

[sarah]

wow that is a awesome poem great job

[Hayley]

Would you tell me you celebrate the jewel
You've found
For a kingdom of your own

WOW! I love it! I like all the words in this, truly. I really like your rhyming scheme too. You really mastered that in this poem. Wonderful image as well. :)

[Renay]

:)

[Lily Mae]

"Tell me true, what you can see
When your sky
Is not blue
A web interlacing what cannot be
Or one that ties my heart to you"

This really resonates with me..again a powerful, passionate write and I agree..a song maybe???

[harley]

expertly composed and very moving. so what do i see. a nice. soft person who anyone yet noone could ever copy or see.

[Dream Weaver]

Composed like a symphony written with great esteem...
Nicely done Neva ...

[kdpgrahi]

Really a vessel to hold the oceans