Sweetly Scented Secrets

We quietly slip away
to the sweetly scented secrets
we will never let go of
long enough to curve into the sun.  

Although we found nothing lacking
or haunting the broken jewels of quiet
got twisted as day broke
and likewise our eyes were opened to none.

Will we mourn the loss of smiles
or be strengthened by tears
that heartache lights up
when we bleed.

Or will our bodies fill the spaces
in the past that felt better
because we were next to one another
as we breathed.

I need you to guide me
to the west of your kiss or lead me
to the end
of what is left to tell.

Because no one knows
what will coat what we have put on the line
when the time comes
to pay the fiddler from hell.

When we quietly slip away once again
to the sweetly scented secrets
will it rain
on our own emotions?

Or will we find nothing lacking
in our desire to live within
what we will never let go of
long enough to curve into the sun.

Reviews

[SpokenWord]

A silent secret is deadly and we hold them always close to our hearts, but if given a choice to embrace them or to embrace life what would people chose? To have that desire to live that you wrote more eloquently than I do here, is letting go of the past and embracing the unknown with convictions. Your words are always beautiful and your images rich with an underlying meaning that teaches us how to be humans first.

[Crowley]

Eats us from the inside out, but at times tastes sweeter than any forbidden fruit made by the hand of man. Alot of great images and lines, and that fiddler from hell...exacts a heavy price, might want to bring a credit card...lol. Loved this.

[Layla J Omorose]

Excellent writing. I especially enjoyed the fact the I read it over three times and found something new each time. I don't know if you mean it or not but the rhyming of the poem caught me off and made the poem even more enjoyable for me to read. I would say that the only problem i had with the poem was that the lines were long so I had to read them out loud to get their full impact. "Will we mourn the loss of smiles or be strengthened by tears that heartache lights up when we bleed. Or will our bodies fill the spaces in the past that felt better because we were next to one another as we breathed." Those where my favorite lines. And for me it is these lines that capture the essence of the poem.

[Im His Daughter]

Do not change a single thing... Would be my opinion, this is magnificent & it's yours. You write it the way you want to write it & never let anyone force you to change that.. This was truly breathtaking & I rarely (2 - 3 times in 3 yrs I think) have found a poem that can make me feel this way. Spectacular!

[HopelesslyDevoted]

When we quietly slip away once again
to the sweetly scented secrets
will it rain
on our own emotions?


beautiful words of sincerity

[Letemdangle]

Extremely fantastico! I feel "not worthy" to suggest this, but I know you can't slap me from where you are. I was wondering if perhaps, you could remove the questioning parts of it or words or phrases that pause for question? For example, remove the word "Although" from the second stanza, "Or will" from the third, etc.
What would it read like in a more affirmative form? Probably, a different poem, but I would like to see you do it.

[Lily Mae]

"Or will we find nothing lacking in our desire to live within what we will never let go of long enough to curve into the sun." I love this..:) x