Take a safari on the icing of your own cake.............
Make haste upon the wind of your questions Purge that glimmer of trust Flattery, will get you nowhere fast Once I confirm, you are not One of us
Take a safari on the icing of your own cake Then cut me a slice or two You can get overly sentimental, if you like While I have your cake And eat it too
Shut off the valve to your bleeding heart No pity is needed here I ride bareback on all my trials Been roughing it For years
Go ahead and apply your salve to all those wounds You have been rubbing all that salt in I wear a shield of aiming intention
these words come across in my mind with a certain force or almost flippancy to them. This works so well with the pace of the poem, and keeps the reader engaged from the first line to the last. I love the line "I wear a shield of aiming intention" great poetry!
Flip side indeed! I was scratching my head just seeing the title and your name beside it in my RR this morning. This poem, though well done, is just so anti-Neva. Don't get me wrong, I like it, really, it just is so not like anything you've done before here. Someone has been colouring outside the lines, and while I like it, I'm just rather surprised.
There is such a strong voice here, you truly capture the myth, majesty and magic of the femme fatale. The characterisation is superb guaranteeing your persona has an incredibily strong voice. I like how you mix the metaphysical and tangible, for instance:
Shut off the valve to your bleeding heart
No pity is needed here
I ride bareback on all my trials
Also, like the way you take well-established, collequail symbols, like "have your cake and eat it" and elevate them to a poetic level.
these words come across in my mind with a certain force or almost flippancy to them. This works so well with the pace of the poem, and keeps the reader engaged from the first line to the last. I love the line "I wear a shield of aiming intention" great poetry!
Sounds as if you are telling someone to shove it! I think your writing is beautiful as i have said many times but what is once more?
"You can get overly sentimental, if you like
While I have your cake
And eat it too"... love it!
Hello, I am Neva, 4i, from Atlanta, Georgia.
My latest book and videos:
My latest book - Mailing Letters to the Moon
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