Until

Even as you leave my presence, I must collect my heart
And softly weave my memories one by one
On the edges, they quietly sit apart
Until I say to myself
I am done

If the ocean could overhear, the memories I recall
I could throw a net reaching out for miles
Capture every bit of love as it falls
To join the lines of our hearts
In my smile

All along the blue skies, in the shadows of the sun
Inside of these memories, I could spend days
Traveling through my heart’s caverns
Inhaling a touch left trailing
Of the things you say

Even as you leave my presence, I must collect my heart
Draw back time enough to sweetly examine
The joy all these memories will impart
Until I say to myself
I am done

Reviews

[Joel M Frye]

Wow...did you nail this one, Neva!!!!

You have the advantage, my dear...when this happened to me, there was the half-hour crying jag before I was able to collect my heart at all. If I didn't know better, I'd have to say you were there in my apartment that night...or more precisely, you were in my soul that night. Cut me to the quick, this one, with surgical precision and supreme artistry. Thank you.

[Solidad]

"Even as you leave my presence, I must collect my heart
Draw back time enough to sweetly examine
The joy all these memories will impart
Until I say to myself
I am done"

Just reading this brings liberation. Your ability to trap such an emotion into elegant syntax is brilliant.

[Jim Parson]

This is just fabulous and moving, Neva. So bittersweet...I can feel the lump in your throat and see the slightest of wry smiles as each memory passes, always with that perfect touch of melancholy lying beneath. This is just beautiful.

[Dream Weaver]

A genuinely vulnerable piece of
compassion wrapped up in a bow.
Lovely write!

[Sukriti Suki]

Until I say to myself I am done...So many of us stay in memories till we reach this point and sometimes even beyond..your words are magic!

[SpokenWord]

In order to move forward we have to reach the point of being done or our dear memories of love and joy can turn into a haunting that keeps us locked in the past. Your words on this are much more poetic and beautiful than mine.

[Lily Mae]

Tears..omg.. just straight to my heart.. lovely Neva:) xx

[.........]

I like the repetition of "Until I say to myself I am done." Another part that stands out for me is "All along the blue skies, in the shadows of the sun": That line is beautiful. This is really good, and the lines of "Even as you leave my presence, I must collect my heart Draw back time enough to sweetly examine The joy all these memories will impart", you write beautifully.

[OT]

ooo I really like the structure - I was wondering if it was a form poem at first as it's so in line almost! your descriptions are as strong and creative as ever! I must collect my heart
And softly weave my memories one by one - the almost refrain of the first and last stanzas - yet subtle changes to show the progression - very clever! and I am done is always a powerful way to end something - authoritative!

[Ruth]

Taking the moment and nursing the heart, so important! This is beautifully weaved love, I admire your talent of creating a poem that is elegantly written through such turmoil! So beautiful! xx