The Coldest Moves

I watched you make one of the coldest moves in front of our reflection. You plunged through billowing smoke into areas that lacked any expression at all. I saw you shift away into various shades of pictures then run shrieking using all that you had seen as an excuse.  While all the while, I was arranging to tour the fields of you.

I saw headlines printed in places so that they became more than just this morning’s declarations. I really liked how you always understood all the tiny little windows you said they held because this is how you knew everything that was happening.  Yes, you knew it all.

There were hundreds of experiences I could hear asking me why you were making the coldest moves.  Yet, you acted as if you never heard them. Still, I saw the look in your eyes the minute they approached. Somehow, I could tell you knew that what you saw smiled and looked forward to not hearing what we both needed to say.

All I could do was shake my head and begin to face more puzzling hours filled with only you and your insistence that I adjust the temperature of the air you had frozen.  I wondered how anyone could stand and look at you and not be startled by who you are.

Blurs of agitation too strange for even me to identify looked over my shoulder with excitement.  They were not there to inhale my perfume only to seek out my scars. The scars that visit my heart from time to time to remind me they can still hold my arms back from reaching out to you.

Even though you laid right next to me we could no longer find each other in the billowing smoke that issued from our breath.  Ice had begun to form between our hearts within the coldest moves.  There we lay in the darkness both of us looking for the best place to hide.

Take my word for it, as this was not an illusion.  I swear I saw cold clouds hanging over the bed laughing at you and me. Because we didn’t have the faintest idea that the darkness wasn’t real or how close we lay to what could make us warm again.

Author's Note

I attempted to write a story but it appears I wrote Prose instead........maybe in time.....

Reviews

[Judy Ponceby]

Oh my Neva. This is very deep. Beautifully written. How I'm interpreting this is a couple drifting apart, unable to find one another, unable to reach out for the warmth each one desires so much. Your words flow beautifully. Being a bit more on the concrete side I may not be interpreting this as you meant it, but I enjoyed it very much.

[fargone]

the change of style has done nothing to weaken ur words, neva. still powerful and meaningful. and still carrying beauty, tho it is colder and sadder than usual. a wonderful write, as ever.

Very cool deep emotional prose. This could easily morph into a story. I like the choice of font you used here, defiantly adds to the effect. Like looking through a crystal ball.

[Lily Mae]

Neva...my arms got angel bumps when I read , "The scars that visit my heart from time to time to remind me they can still hold my arms back from reaching out to you." The illusion of them laying together in bed so close and yet so far.. wow, I love this.. I can feel them...xx Great write and I can't wait for more;) xx

[FJ Davis]

You did exceedingly well, Neva. Don't you know you're incapable of creating anything that isn't beautiful?
Sometimes, a mere interested gla=nce can transform the atmosphere.
I love this piece!

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

The heart becomes cold as the heat is drained from it. Feelings become like Winter. A love that is fading but neither wants to let go. Beautiful story/prose my friend.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

poem or story, it could be either, but thats what makes it so excellent! brava!

[Tasha]

This was deep, and yet so beautiful and understanding at the same time. Outstanding job!

~ Ta'Shandra :)

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Story, prose, whatever. It is al beautiful coming from your verdant spirit. Wow! What a great write...I got a little chilly while reading. So real and true. I been there, and i love how you set the 'problems' in the room, mocking this sad couple. All it takes is a touch, you are so right! Being male, you captured our cluelessness accurately. Thank Creator I learned from my first marriage. I still am a butthead on occasion, but not for long.
Most excellent!!!

[Bridgid Persephone Newm..]

This is beautiful and poignant, but missing many elements that proper storytelling should include. I like it, but it is prose.