Unravel the Night

Unravel the night as it nods off

to become a wall of darkness

until the sun looks into your eyes

once again

and you feel the pain of truth.

Then tell me what is real

among the promises we have made

and why the blood running through our veins

speaks of us,

as our hearts are seduced.

How can we continue to live on the edge

where each breath we take

challenges our bodies to become

victoriously in control?

When our hearts' wish to speak

of the need to see each other's face

and how love's flame burns

within our eyes then moves

inward to the depth

of our souls.

Author's Note

Artist Liu Zhan

Reviews

[Emily]

I love the progression that you've captured in this piece- you start with a cute, children's bedtime type of feeling with innocent nighttime words like "nods." Then you grow up. You start playing with words like "seduced." I like it! It shows the agelessness of love. Thank you for sharing!

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Emily :)

[RachelReaper]

this was such a gorgeous poem! I honestly loved how it all flowed together in such a way that each word fell perfectly into place where it was.

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Rachel :)

[Kaylor Mason]

I've never seen a flame as hot as this that could burn so darkly . . . nice

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Kailer :)

[Ruth]

Neva, I have no other comment except this was felt...beautifully so xox

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Poppy :)

[Ruth]

♥

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Neva, Not sure of your intention in writing this piece. I was left with two distinctly different feelings from this emotive and well described write. 'feel the pain of truth'and 'continue to live on the edge' infers that something is not right, something has to be faced. then the final lines of the second stanza express deep love. Could this be an affair?

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you John :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"our hearts wish to speak" no apostrophe there.--

what a telling line..
"tell me what is real among the promises we made"

how much of each other do we believe? all of it? some of it? none of it?

or do we just not care...we will enjoy it anyway...

sheryl crow sings in her song "strong enough"
"lie to me, i'll believe you"

like ...i want so much to believe you...it just doesn't matter how really sincere you are.

i think i felt that a few times...although in the end, i kind of wished i hadn't.

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Jacob :)

[Acron 4]

I was lying on her couch a little better then 41 years ago, watching TV. She came over and kinda scooted in beside me, almost lying on top of me. She kissed me, the kinda kiss that let me know real quick that she wanted me to concentrate more on her then the TV. She looked me in the eyes and said "I love you". I said to her," and I love you so would you marry me". When I said that, I was asking Her, 'if I ask you to marry me, Would You'? Well, I should have ask her the question the right way , because she thought I ask her to marry me, So she said " Yes I will"and not wanting to let her know what a total idiot I was, we were married the following January. I have related this event to her sense then. We had already become one after years and years of marriage, and I'm not saying that our lives would have been better if the thoughts that you have expressed in this poem had taken our hearts the way it took those two, and perhaps she had thought about those things. I didn't think that far ahead back then. Maybe I do now. When I think about it now I wish I had, maybe it's just me wishing I could do it all again, .....A wonderful wonderful poem...Thanks for helping me relive those memories, as well sharing.

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Ron :)

[Frieda P]

It's elegant and dark at the same time. Speaks to me of one night stands, the longing and search for real love and truth. That's just me. Beautiful.

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Frieda :)

[Robin]

the ill delusion of mind and love - control , promises , and superficial allegiance , when all the heart needs , demands , is respect and freedom ..

poetry to be taken to heart

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Robin :)

[mandy]

thought provoking! i liked it..

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Mandy :)

[Falling Leaf.]

This is really amazing. The thoughts and message, the imagery, the wording. All beautiful. One thing(and I'm not sure about this): I think that in "of the need to see each others face" others needs to have an apostrophe. Other's. Not sure if I'm right. But that's the only grammar thing that I found. Really awesome piece!

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

I thought so too, but when I add apostrophe s with other it comes up as a spelling error......???????

[Falling Leaf.]

Hmmmm. I think there should be one. Because, the face belongs to the other, so you use an apostrophe to show ownership...I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Then again, sometimes the computer is wrong. I don't know.

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

I think you are right :)

[Falling Leaf.]

Okey dokey. The computer's an idiot