A Whisper to the Moon

My heart is shouting

I love you

But my head objects

Says it’s too soon
So I step outside

And whisper it to the moon

Head says it’s too early

All in good time

Give her space

Give her room

So here I am instead

Whispering to the moon

Temper enthusiasm

With patience

Head says to heart

Write a little tune

Go outside and

Sing it to the moon

I have these silly rules

The stupid games

We have to play

What a cartoon

I must appear to be

Singing to the moon

But my heart it yearns

For a word, a touch

Emotions ready to burst

Taught like a full balloon

The only release of pressure

Are whispers to the moon

And so I wait

In patient agony

For the time to come

I hope it comes soon

I’ll be showing you this instead

Of whispering it to the moon

Author's Note

I usually shy away from self imposed rhyming schemes, but I really wanted the subject of the moon to be prominent in this piece so I chose to use rhymes with it for emphasis.

Reviews

[Priyanshi Dass]

In the 5th line of the 2nd verse shouldn't it be 'So I 'am' here instead'. Also in the 3rd line of the last verse you repeated 'the' twice.
Other that that, this is a beautifully written piece of work. You have such a great way with words, as you are able to describe your feelings in such a strong and emotional way. I love the writing style, and I do relate to the feelings. Keep writing. Good luck and have a nice day.

[Chained Potential]

Thanks for the help! And the compliment! I mostly write as a way to express emotion since it's something I tend to struggle with a lot, so most everything I do is emotionally charged.

[Mikayla_Stagg]

I liked it and i liked the unique rhyme scheme. It flowed nicely and it was really a beautiful peice. Keep writing!

[DaughterNature]

I very much like the refrain you chose. However, some of the stanzas do not carry the energy I expect when reading that refrain over and over. A little punctuation would help the reading of the poem as well. I also recommend that you not shy away from slant rhymes so that you do not run out of rhyming words or feel restricted by your choices.

[NoirSpartan]

I like how you maintain your own rhyming scheme and you do it while still delivering the story.

[Chained Potential]

It's fun sometimes to have a defined structure. Then it's like solving a puzzle! "how do I say what I want to say, but with these rules to follow"

Plus I wanted the moon to be the central theme to the piece, and giving a regular pattern with only the moon being rhymed with I think does a good job of it.

[Emily]

I love the title you gave this poem!!