To Be Noticed

Why doesn't he see me? Do I not shine brightly enough?

Why doesn't he see me? Do I not shine bright enough for him?

Why am I not bright?
Why am I unnoticed?
What is wrong with me?
Why am I not accepted?

I have no magic to transform. I cannot be any other girl. I cannot be bold. I cannot be wonderful. I can only be me and it isn't enough, not for him. I can't be a carbon copy like so many others,wishy washy, brain washed bimbos with fake emotions on display. My insecurities are there for everyone to see. They are large enough. Is it because of that? Is it something he can't get passed. It seems I float by him unnoticed. He looks in my direction, but is really looking past me, through me. Why do I get flustered wondering if he might see me?Why do I feel sad knowing he doesn't? Why do I care? If he doesn't notice me will there be others? Or am I too dull? Too Stupid? Too ugly? Too unsophisticated? Who would he prefer and what is it about me he will not see? Why does he refuse to look at me? I am desperately crying out in my mind for a glance. I am too ordinary. And even though I've always been silently watching him, he already knew that all too well. He greets me as if I'm there to be greeted and nothing else. He will never speak to me. And the questions keep piling up. What is it about her? What does she possess? Why is she chosen? Is she bright? Is she interesting? Is she pretty? Is she smart? Is she all the things he ignores me for? Is she the one he loves? Am I jealous? No. I am curious, anxious for answers. And I am lonely. I want to be noticed. I want to be like her if just for a second. I want to have fake charisma and charm. I want the fake beauty and brains. I want him to notice and I want him to regret. I want him to regret not noticing me.