Frustration's Hope

My first stab at a sonnet. As always, would love your input and/ or comments. I couldn't help but think of the old bluegrass song, Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town when writing this. Enjoy!

Struggling to awake, I think today, I’m craving something new.

No going back to sleep for me, for opened are my eyes.

I gather thoughts and before those thoughts come through,

I am distracted, forgetting thought by something in the sky.

I see the bird flying free with no cares upon him now.

He circles round, rises and falls, seemingly with no effort.

I, like this glider, can fly with ease although not quite sure how.

For I must walk on these two feet and wind gives no support.

But walk I can’t on my two feet, for no feet can be found.

And as for legs, wasting away without use for a year,

The war’s to blame for my loss of standing my own ground.

Stare I might continue on, distracted from my fears.

                Despite this curse, I have no hate, for my battle’s won,

                I’m awakened now, alive and free, strengthened by the Son.

 

Reviews

[Jon Gary Frost]

Great message. Everything I have ever seen in your writing conveys an extreme sense of joy, hope, love, and passion. You touch on sadness, but counter and obliterate it with your hope. So often there is a perceived sense of high-art associated with the bleak and darker sides. You stick to your guns an write what is in your heart. Truly admirable.

Now for the bad part....even though the rules have become loose,this isn't quite a sonnet. Your rhyme scheme fit, but this piece seemed to omit any traditional metre associated with sonnet. Could be I'm missing a non-traditional syllable pattern, but don't think so. Generally I am not a rules guy, but with the sonnet the metre can often bring half of the beauty of a piece.

Overall, awesome poem. Glad to see you on WritersCafe.

[Undying Glory]

nice. i like the sonnet, although i always thought sonnets were love poems. still good work though