Dulling the senses

Here I am

Lying on the floor

Hours since I began

All of this.

It began so simple

So innocent like

It began with a kiss

A taste of anothers flesh

Pressed up upon my own

The two pieces of skin

That shouldn’t touch

For sin was happening

In that bed o’ lovers

Love forbidden

But love felt throughout

That night o’ hers and mine

As we entertwined

Becoming one

Becoming twisted demons

As lust filled our souls

Filled our beings

As we raced the night away

She saw stars and collapsed

Never to say a word again

As I stole them from her lips

As I sucked it out of her

From the forbidden lovers touch

Of the two pieces of flesh

Touching each other.

When I did take note of this

The act was done

I had killed this evil good

I had killed this angelic demon

I had killed her

As we were slaves

To only our emotions

And to our sinful lust

And the emotions

Held still yet

From within my chest

Began to erupt

In fiery passion

An explosion of stress

Of sadness and longing

That was newly found.

Longing for death to great me

Since she was my only love

She was all I had

All I ever would have

Without her

I felt empty

Without her

I couldn’t carry on.

And so I began to scratch

At my flesh

That was bare from the sins

Committed in that bed

That I had to leave

That I had to get off of

That I hated

Since it contained her corpse

That looked just as beautiful

As she did in death.

Not even that could change

Nothing could touch that

About her.

I couldn’t stay

The pain too much

The emotion so raw

Just as my skin began to feel

As I continued to scratch at myself

To be ride of all this

But unable to do so successfully

And so I stumbled out

O’ that dreaded room

And falling down the stairs

Yet still able to walk

I hated that

I hated myself

For what I did to

That poor dear

That beautiful creature

That shall not stir anymore.

So I walk out

Into the street

Full of life

Full of happiness

As I couldn’t be anymore

And as I walked

I hit the corner

At a crossroad

Where there sat a man

Who seemed to carry

His age under his eyelids

Hurting him it seemed

To look anymore.

He saw me

And walked up to me

Claiming that he could help

That he knew about pain

And he had the solution

Handing me the bottle

And the pills

Telling me to take it

And go

That it was on him

This time anyways.

I left

I went back to her

“Honey I am home!”

I proclaimed

As I went to her

I held out the pills

“Look at these

Aren’t they pretty?

Aren’t you happy?

Honey?

Darlin’?”

There was nothing

And the pills were gone

And the bottle emptied

But I still was empty

On the inside

As I still scratched away

Not peeling and tearing

The cursed flesh o’ mine

Right off the bone

The pain long gone

From my physical bond

Only the pain

Of losing her remained.

The skin was gone

As I gazed at my wretchedness

This is what I do to myself

This is what I do to others

I destroy

Defile

Degrade

Disgrace

Those who are pure of heart.

And all that remains

Is this of me

As I long for death

To end this all

To eradicate my horrid soul

Off of this wonderful world.