Why?

Why do I hurt myself?

I should like who I am

I should accept myself

And should rejoice

In my successes

While learning from

My failures.

Instead I am always 

Watching over myself

Wary of every mistake

That I make

Always afraid to f**k up

For my parents don't forget

They don't forgive

They look and ask

"Why, why did you?"

"You shouldn't stop."

"Keep going forward."

"Push past the pain."

"Grow up and be a man."

Are what they tell me

In the end

As the spit flies

As my father sits atop

And throws the punches

His body shaking violently

Spiting out

"You little s**t

You m**********r

You son of a b***h

Never do that again

Never let us catch you

Doing that again."

When all I did

Was write this

And write away the pain

To drown in my own sorrow

Of living daily life

As nothing but failure

For I am not what 

They wish me to become

"Go play football."

Is what they say

But the players say

"Go back home b***h

You don't belong here."

And they were right

For I belong here

Writing away my life

Producing nothing more

Than lines of text.

"You won't make it

You can't make it

You will live poorly

And in filth."

Is what my parents say.

But at least I might be happy

With myself for once,

But I am now starting to

Learn that I am not meant 

To live in happiness

But to instead be miserable,

To live in filth anyways

And to hate myself

For the wretchedness 

I have become.

Reviews

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Read my poem "Long Gone" and stay strong. For people like me. Who can see beauty in every soul and hope in every twonkle of the eye.