Kill me now (no really, kill me mother...)

The truth boils over

I cannot take it in any longer

The pain is too great

The suffering I cannot withstand

As those around me beat me

Black and blue

As they call me out

Of the shadows I hid within

For they conceal me

The true me

The one that they rejected

With every beat of their

Cold hearts that feel nothing.

But I still feel

Even though I pretend

To brush off your punches

And your violent actions

Of destruction

Because I take it further

As I cannot look at myself

In the mirror any longer

For I hate myself

When people tell me

"You are hidious."

"You are gay."

"You are a joke."

"You have no reason to live."

"Please, for the love of god,

Just go and jump off the bridge."

I wish I could

But I know death is

Only earned after the journey

Is finished and well over

And for me, my journey

Is to take the pain of

Those that might endure

Like myself

As so that they may never

Suffer the pain that I have felt

To the point were pain is numbing

And that I just feel emptiness.

Mommy, can you kill me?

You know you wanna

You don't like me

You are always angry with me

Never agreeing with me

When I tell you the truth

That I am me

And that you must let me be Icarus

And to fly in the sky

Only to fall to my own device.

So mommy, wanna kill me today?

You can take that kitchen knife

And stab me in the back

While we hug one last time

Because that is how it feels

Every time we part

And we embrace

To comfort you

Since I am not priviliaged

With such feelings any longer

For I am nothing but a disgrace

To what you have built yourself

To become on your throne

That you made for yourself

And I just try to scrap the s**t

That you leave behind

With grin on my face

That is burning off

From the agony I feel within.

So please mommy

Do me in

You know you wanna

So take that dagger

And pierce my cursed flesh

That ruins all that you worked for

That knows the true you

That sees the faults within you

As clear as day

And just wears masks for a living

In order to contain 

My very own wretchedness.

So mommy,

Can I die today?