The Drug called Life

I tug on the band

As the executioner

Takes the noose o'er

My neck today.

I did this to myself

I wished myself away

Drifting away from those

Who might have cared

But never knowing

Never gonna know now

So let that tear trickle down

My cheek as I think of

Only one person, of

Her.

It was years ago

I was just sitting there

In that classroom

When I first saw her

She seemed to glow

Her skin was tanned

Not too badly

Like those that go

And try to hard

To ruin themselves

Where she was naturally so

Her hair was brown

Her nose was a button

But it was the eyes

They were bright green

Electrifying me

With some kinda feeling

That I had never felt

Before that moment

In time.

So I said nothing

I let it all melt away

Or so it seemed

Until she approached me

With a question

On the homework we shared.

I helped, as I was

A gentleman at heart.

As we worked through

These issues, we began

To bond over each other

And it seemed to blossom

That is, until that guy

That football star

Sauntered over in his swagger

And confronted me

Telling me this:

"What the hell are you doing?

You know you have no chance

You won't make it with her.

She is out of your league

As since you are nothing

But a loser."

With that said

He and his friends jumped me

Dog piling me

As I was buried under

Their abusive bodies

Under the bruises that formed

All over my body

The hate grew in me

To the point when action 

What I needed

And so as I walked home

I was stopped by this guy

Who had ran right into me

And kept on going.

I never found out who it was

But he helped me

On my downward spiral

For he had dropped something

It was a bag

Full of needles

And a big rubber band.

All the ingredients were there

All I had to do was use them

And so I went into that dark alley

Took the band out

And tightened it on my arm

Before I took the needle

And pierced the skin

The pain exploding

My eyes growing huge

The visions of her didn't stop

That longing to be with her

Couldn't be contained

Until I began to cry

Knowing he was right,

I was a nobody

And proceeded to cry meself

To slumber on the cold concrete.

I woke to the siren

The police dragging me away

I couldn't do anything

My body was numb

The pain only grew within

For I knew my life was over

I had lost it all

I gave it up

For her.

I knew she was better

Having never loved me

Or at least to my knowledge

Of never been to close to me.

So to the gallows I go

To the hangmans noose

Where I shall hang

Until I fall as nothing but scraps

To the hungry dog that lives

On the corner of the street

Always on the look for scraps.

And so the tear falls

Because I was used to the bruises

I was used to rejection

I was just afraid of one thing

I was afraid of being accepted

For I didn't give myself the chance

For I wasted my life

In nothing but bitterness 

Over my own life.