Given Up

That was it

I cannot do this 

The same s**t anymore

I have finally lost it

Living this life

Isn't even worth it

Since I just suffer

From the echoes 

Reverberating from

The back of my mind.

I am only interested 

In myself

Never wondering 

About another individual

So that explains why 

No girl would ever like me

For how could a girl stand

An egotistical pathetic

Pessimist that hates himself.

I just suffer in hell

As I walk all throughout

That dreaded white noise

Coming off as the fool

So that the rest can laugh

And be foolish

Without any regrets.

Live for today

When I am trapped

In the past.

Live life to the fullest

When I just get 

Cut down for doing 

Just that.

What is the point

To all this madness?

Why am I here?

What do I matter

To all those involved 

In this world?

Why must I care?

Why can I not

Just end it now

And suffer on

In only agony

And without another

At my side

To hold onto

And to cherish.

I see her

She haunts my thoughts

Always there

Never fading

But who is she

Where is she in this

Vision of mine?

Where does she belong

In this plan that is

Created with pain

And suffering in mind.

I doubt that she exists

She was nothing more

Than a false hope

A siren calling me to shore

As I drown out at sea

Within the blood

That doesn't ever stop

From pouring out

Of my carcass

That just sinks further

And further in sorrow.

Can I ever rest in peace

Or will I live in death

For all eternity?