Friendship

Someone once asked ‘What is friendship?’
and what it means to me.
I’m sure they expected a simple answer:
‘Someone around whom I am free
to be myself without judgement’.
But why should the answer be so clean
when friendship is so messy?
Truly, friendship is trolling people you mutually dislike. 
It’s going to Wal-Mart at 2:00am
for yarn and chips and costume fabric- 
sitting in a driveway talking for three or four hours
after grabbing donuts in the middle of the night
and accidentally driving onto a campus
only to be mistaken for professors even though you’re nineteen. 
Friendship is watching bad horror movies and laughing at them 
and sharing secrets in the dark. 
It’s making retarded "diabeetus" cakes
and anatomically correct cookies- 
spontaneously going out for sno-cones- 
standing in the Gay/Lesbian literature section of Barnes&Noble and making fun of book titles 
and sitting side-by-side for hours without having to say a word. 
Friendship is beating each other with foam-covered PVC pipes
and using archaic weapons to play catch. 
It’s skipping through parking-lots singing the song from "The Mysterious Ticking Noise"
just to frighten all the old people around you- 
knowing that if you killed someone, you'd have help moving the body
or at least they’d bring the quick lime. 
It’s giving fossilized dinosaur vomit as a Christmas present-
always knowing you'll have a place to stay when things go wrong 
and having a shoulder to cry on. 
Friendship is being alone and knowing that you're not.

Author's Note

Written for a few close friends in homage to some of the crazy things we've done.

Reviews

[Vanadis]

Most of this was you and me and we did all of these things and I would totally help you dispose of the body. This was perfect; made me laugh and cry at the same time. I remember all these things and still feel no shame at giving you guys the fossilized dino vomit; that was cool as hell. Next time we're in a parking lot we will sing "The Mysterious Ticking Noise" and then I'll buy yarn and then we'll make another diabeetus cake, and some anatomically correct cookies. Then we'll go to Dove Christian Store and ask for books about Odin -- for real this time.