That Fateful Day

A Story by Niles

A short story about love.

That Fateful Day

I remember the first time I ever questioned if the love I felt was real, or just a fictional reality played on me by teenage hormones and bad judgment calls. It was almost three years back when I sat at home in my hot bath, thinking about what really mattered to me. I chose to focus only on my girlfriend and my friends. Go to parties and bonfires, drink and smoke cigarettes. But within those last few months my life was thrown into an entirely new reality. I was going to be a father.

Never before, had I thought so hard, and yet, so little of myself. What had I accomplished? I was unemployed, living with my parents, girlfriend moved in, no grades to show, and no life in general. I was worthless, a nobody. During these few moments I cried. I cried harder than I ever had in my life, so hard I made my nose bleed. After a few minutes of shedding blood and tears I was able to calm myself long enough to assess the situation. I decided a new outlet was what I needed.

I grabbed my laptop from my room and returned to my hot bath and opened up my browser and I began to type. I started a fake and fresh social media account and began to add random people from all over the world that I didn’t even know. All of them shared similar interests as me so at least I would know what to say to bring up a conversation. After a day went by a few had accepted my requests but none of them would reply to my attempts at communication. I felt bummed and decided that perhaps this idea I had was no good, and I began to go through the process of deletion. Just as I was about to click that final button and bid farewell to this fake account, another person accepted my request, and then almost instantly I received a message.

I smiled with excitement at the possibility of a new friend, a friend away from all the drama of my life and knew nothing about what I was going through. A friend that could be unprejudiced and unbiased towards me. We talked for what seemed like minutes, but it was in truth nearly an hour. We laughed together and I was having a blast. I was saddened a little when she said she had to go, but I understood and signed off as well.

Over the next few months we talked and got to know each other better. The more I talked to her, the more I felt weight lift off my shoulders more and more, we had even exchanged numbers and pictures and I had switched to my real life social media account and added her there. My life was beginning to look better and better as I talked to her, but reality was much harsher. My girlfriend was growing further along in her pregnancy and I was beginning to fall in love with another woman.

After a while she had convinced her father to drive her down to my house so we can meet in person. I was nervous, sweating, and shaking. I had never done something like this in my entire life, and to be honest I was terrified. But when she pulled up I was stunned at what I saw, she looked nothing like her pictures. She looked far more beautiful. We stood face to face and both of us were blushing brighter than a red light at midnight. I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms and plant a kiss on her tempting lips, but my mind switched to my girlfriend and I decided it was best to be close and yet distant. She was only there for a few short minutes before her and her father left. I stood in my living room breathing in and out quickly, nearly hyperventilating. It was that moment that I knew, I was with someone, but she wasn’t the one. This random stranger I had met over the internet and spilled my life story to, my pains, my sorrows, my hopes, dreams, and joys, I had spilled it all. And when she was right in front of me, just within reach, I realized that I found the person I was meant to be with, but I also realized she was the one I couldn’t be with. Reality was I was going to be a father, I couldn’t run away from that and chase after a girl who lived hours away.

The day we said our goodbyes was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. She had confessed her feelings to me, and I to her. But I had already made my choice. I was going to stay with my girlfriend, and raise our son together. We didn’t talk for weeks, and they were the loneliest weeks I had ever spent. I felt great sadness at her absence, but I kept myself busy by preparing for the baby to arrive. Then after about a month, she messaged me. I was head over heels excited to hear from her, but once I read the message, my excitement slowly turned to dread. She had sent me a goodbye letter, at first it seemed like she was just moving on and I even wished her luck, but when I reread it I realized the true horror behind the letter. It was her final goodbye to me, her farewell to life, her suicide note.

Two years went by and I never heard from her since that night. My son was a toddler now and I had fucked up a great job and had to settle with a mediocre one. I had been kicked out of the apartment I had got with my now ex-girlfriend and was back to living at home with my parents. Seeing my son was difficult, since my ex hated me and wouldn’t allow me near him. My life had reached the lowest it had ever been and I decided something stupid. I was going to end my life. I had decided when, where, and how it was going to happen and I set my mind on it.

I sat at lunch, just days before my time to end things, when my phone goes off and alerts me that I had a message. When I looked at it I was in shock and I dropped my phone to the ground. It was her. She was alive all along. She had attempted her suicide but survived, and she wanted to start over again. Tears of joy fell from my face and I saw that small ray of hope begin to rise over the horizon of my darkness.

We spent the next couple of months rebuilding what we thought was gone forever, and then I decided it was time to do what I felt that I should have done long ago. I made her my one, my love, and my life. Finally, I was happy and at peace with my life. Then she made another decision that ultimately changed our lives. She had taken one too many hits from her father and decided it was time to run away, and she came to me.

I waited at the bus stop for her around midnight and I was jittery. I waited for what seemed like hours and then the bus rolled in, time slowed down as I saw her exit the bus and my heart began to beat so fast I felt like I was running a marathon. As soon as she approached, we embraced and just held each other. I took her back to my house and made her comfortable and we sat and talked, and held each other. And then it happened, we leaned towards each other and placed our lips together. We kisses passionately at first, and then it grew more and more heated, until the next thing we knew we had taken each other’s clothes off and were kissing parts of each other’s bodies that are generally left to the imagination.

We laid on the bed, pressed together and I slowly and gently slid myself into her and we became one. We both moaned and clawed at each other as I thrust against her, and we both fell into a haze of pure ecstasy. When it reached its peak I pulled myself out and released myself upon her. We were both out of breath and we laid next to each other and just held one another, lost in our emotions and in our lust for one another. We finally decided it was time to fall asleep and all felt right with the world. But the next day held another pain for us both.

The next day I had no choice but to take her to the police station and report her as a runaway. We went through the process together and I felt my heart break as she cried and looked at me with a look of seeming betrayal. I felt a part of me die inside and I couldn’t bear it. When I was escorted out of the police station while a counselor from the state spoke with her, I wanted nothing more than to hate myself. I had hurt her, even after I had vowed never to do it again. I spent the next few days punishing myself until her mother allowed her to call me and speak to me for a while. She told me she was doing better and didn’t blame me or hate me, and I sighed with relief and sank into a chair. We spoke for a few more minutes and then hung up.

I sat there for what seemed like an hour as I smiled to myself, I hadn’t screwed it up and I could have her still. I vowed never to let anything come between us again so long as I breathed. But I never expected that vow would take me down a path I never thought was once possible. And I continue on with no more regrets.

To Be Continued