Mindset

Fantasy shiizzzz

 Sometimes, feelings are hard to place. A lot of people can simply describe them in one word. Happy, Sad, depressed even. Yet, what I feel tugging at my heart was and still is mysterious. It’s the feeling of wanting to just not think, to stare at the clouds and let the world float by. I didn’t know what I was doing with myself that was for sure. Maybe my head was wrapping around past memories far too much. Or maybe I just couldn’t see the future. Either way as I turned and saw him sleeping in bed there, my body reeled with the feeling of emptiness that wasn’t justified. What with feelings of others support, yet I still felt like I was on a cliff edge constantly.

Well, that was a little selfish of me to think really. I sighed letting my hand lay across the bed.  Itaya had a hard day today, chasing me around was no fun no doubt. However, with Shoe making him work while he was here and I was stuck in the mansion I hadn’t seen much of him. I could see a bandage peeling off his cheek where a scratch had been made. The town street’s were a little crazy what with the holidays approaching. Here I was lying in bed thinking about what to make of my feelings and why my stomach was in knots. Maybe, I was just overthinking things.

The queen sure knew how to keep Itaya’s mind off things. She’d been like that when I was taking care of her back before all that happened. Now it was the other way around, then again Shoe seemed to gain sound of mind at a drop of a hat. Able to take the reins back on her kingdom while I. Well I just happened to run away and make my home here, after spending all that time in Liar’s kingdom at least for that month where I met Itaya…. It’d felt like he’d filled a missing part of me that I still missed.

Sometimes I wish I had said something different to them. Suddenly I sat up shaking my head. I was thinking about things nobody else would understand, with my eyes adjusting to the darkness I looked around. The window filtering moonlight through, it creates blue streaks that shined on the wall. When I thought about it the room was really bare. Just the bed in the middle and a small dresser to the left of it. The door being right in front of me, I pulled myself out of the bed leaving Itaya quietly alone. Heading out of the door and closing it behind me as I took in a deep breath. Maybe if I drank some water it would bring on some sleep but I highly doubted that.

I cleared my thoughts of all those muddled things, walking across the dark burgundy colored hallway towards the stairs. I’d requested a room on the second floor because I’d probably get lost otherwise. Shoe’s mansion was built well - with multiple rooms and such. I wanted an easy route down to the kitchen. As I started down I rested my hand against the railing. Enjoying the cold sensation against my warm hand, sensations like that sent happiness to me because it meant I wasn’t being numb.

The stairs didn’t take long to get down, turning to my right there was the living room. It was connected to the large open kitchen with tile flooring. A few tables littering it and the usual fridge with counters. For such a big house I expected a castle like kitchen but it was surprisingly… mundane if I had to say so myself. I flicked on the light switch and moved over to the cupboards. Grabbing a glass and some water from the faucet. Finding a seat on a table and taking a drink I settled the drink down and jumped.

My heart jumped to my chest as someone came into my vision. Right in front of me was a girl, her arms crossed and her face looking unamused. She had mostly blonde hair reaching just below the shoulders, but the top of it was tinted with streak of red. Shoe’s scent filled my nose but it was mixed differently if I had to guess this was the daughter I had heard so much about. The one who had taken over the kingdom while Shoe had been away. I didn’t expect to see her there though so my heart still beat as I tried to catch my breath.

“Karinna was it? I’m sorry if you woke it, I just came to get some water.” I said as she uncrossed her arms staring at me. I didn’t do well with eye contact out of business so I looked off to the side clutching the water filled cup. That girl looked like she was going to hit me!

“Do you have a second?” The words that came from her mouth surprised me. I looked at her and saw that her expression that I took as anger was actually frustration. Like she was trying to solve a puzzle. I let out a breath shakily.

“Well I’ve got all morning seeing as it’s like one in the morning. I didn’t think you’d be up this late.” I didn’t think anyone in the River household usually stayed up like I did. Karinna tapped the table.

“What would you do if you were still conflicted about being mad with someone….. My mom was gone for almost two years and said nothing. We were worried about her!” The girl vented to me. As I took another drink of water I almost wanted to choke myself with it. Remembering for one of those years I’d actually been hiding the girls mother from the police. The infamous “leader killer” who put me in the hospital but for some reason I still took care of the mentally broken woman.

“I’m not… sure, never felt that way about my mom.” I told her for a second. “Are you upset that she actually was the one to commit those murders or just the fact that she left you alone with your younger brother?” I stared at the girl as her red orbs softened a little.

“Honestly I could care less what happened about the murders. All charges were dropped so there’s no point worrying over it now, I just…. Who does that. She left her youngest child who is just a teenager to me I barely just turned twenty one! Then she shows up out of the blue and just… takes over again like nothing happened?” Karinna animated her arms a bit. Showing off her frustration.

“To be honest some people tend to isolate themselves when they’re feeling targeted or depressed. When they aren’t sound of mind even more so. Your mother was unwell - she put me in the hospital at one point. She was running away, no it’s not right but I understand why she did it. Whether you should forgive her or not well that’s up to you.” I was tired, so I did suppose whatever I said didn’t make much sense. I looked off to the side for a moment, sighing and leaning back in the chair. When I looked over back towards Karinna she looked surprised.

“She hurt you?” For a second she sounded a little worried. I nodded my head, pointing to the faint scar that was on the right side of my neck. Shoe had almost killed me by beating my face in with her bare hands. It was amazing what some of the other species could do with their strength. For an immortal being like Shoe it was terrifying at the time.

“She thought I was someone else. Like I was trying to hurt or kill her. At the end of it all I took care of her for a year because Queen Quelt told me to.” I looked at the girl and she leaned back with a bit of despair in her eyes. How was it so hard to believe her mother had done something like that.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone? There were news stories all over the universe - and from what I’ve heard about you. You can get information from pretty much anywhere.” Karinna pulled her arms up on the table. I just simply stared at her fingers, practically letting my brain numb out from what possible negative emotions could come from feeling anxious about her accusations.

“If you want the honest answer it’s because Shoe didn’t want to be found and I wanted to help her. Once a month or two passed though - it was because if I had gotten caught now I could have been arrested and I don’t do well with that sort of thing. I lived in a village with no government doing my own thing and at the moment I really don’t have a home. I’m freeloading at your mother's place.” I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the girl. She narrowed her eyes and leaned back. I was a bit confused to be honest, I barely knew this teenager and the line of questioning felt like she was about to lunge on me for taking her mother away or something like that. I was feeling my nerves catch up to me, drinking the rest of my water I stood up suddenly and quickly put the cup near the sink. Turning around to make a fast retreat towards my room when Karinna stopped me to say something.

“If you’re worried about being a freeloader all this time, then come see me at my office tomorrow. Itaya should be able to tell you where it is.” She was starting to get up as well. “I’ll set you up with a job.” I watched as she walked passed me and up the stairs towards her own room. Standing there for a few minutes trying to process the offer that she’d just given me. I’d come to the sudden realization that I hadn’t had a proper job in a country ever in my life.

Author's Note

It's been a while since I've written something for myself, so enjoy this little short story. I kind of did it for a writing exercise as well.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

so glad you a posting anew Centipedle .. i like your story...i like the characters' names and the situation simplicity in its setting ..but very complex in the relationships .. and i want to know more ..i may have missed it but i did not get a sense of the time period this is happening in ... hope you are going to expand on it..i will keep me eyeball out ;) belated Merry Christmas and a very Happy , Safe New year my friend
E.

[barleygirl]

It's been a long time since I read you. Good to see you back with something new. Being forgetful, I don't remember your earlier characters, but I do recognize some similarities. All in all, I can step into the middle of one of your stories & it doesn't matter if I remember the earlier parts, becuz what you've written here is complete & easy to follow with plenty of character-revealing action, dialogue, & explanation, so that I'm getting to know your characters all the time. I don't need to depend on one chapter leading to the next. You just write a nicely tight story that could stand alone.