If You Were Wondering - Chapter Two

Chapter 2

“Attention, this is your captain speaking” the speakers blared from the front of the plane. “Our flight to Albany is going perfectly, and there seems to be little turbulence in the skies today. Unless there’s any problem between here and our destination, we will be landing in an hour. Thank you again for flying the friendly skies with Delta Airlines.” The speakers buzzed and crackled, then turned off.

My ginger ale was gone, and I stared out the window. The sky was peaceful. The sun was setting, which made the clouds almost look like cotton candy. I wanted it to last, but I knew that it couldn’t. In less than an hour, I would be in the place I swore I would never come back to. And I had no idea what I was going to do once I got there.

. . .

Amy took me home after school, and she was quiet the whole way there. I could tell she was trying to find the right words to say, but they just wouldn’t come out. I think she was just trying to save ourselves from any awkward silence, but it was too late.

                She pulled up my driveway and put the car in park, but she put her hand on my shoulder before I got out.

                “I told my mom what happened,” she said, “and she said that you can come over anytime you need. Just as long as you call beforehand.”

                I nodded and said, “Thank you. I could really use that.”

                Amy smiled at me, and gave me a hug. Before I let go, she kissed me on the cheek, which I thought was weird. I knew it was friendly, but it felt very warm. I don’t know if that makes sense. I guess it just felt good. I got out of the car without saying a word.

When I walked into the house, I saw Mom at the stove, working on something that looked like Thanksgiving dinner. That didn’t sit right with me, because it was the middle of January.

                “Hey, Mom?” I asked. “What are you making?”

                She jumped and turned back at me, like there was an intruder in the house.

                “Oh! Honey, you scared me!” she said, and she kissed me on the cheek, the same one that Amy just kissed. “Just a little something special for dinner tonight. Your father landed an interview, and with any luck, he’ll have a job by tomorrow!” She seemed very excited, like she forgot what had happened not even a full day before. My mother could be very beautiful when she wanted to be, and the way she was beaming made her look like a prom queen. It scared me.

                “Don’t call him that.” I said.

                “What?” my mother asked.

                “Don’t call him my father. Hugh is not my father.”

                Mom looked down at her feet. “I’m sorry, Michael. It just slips out sometimes.” She looked like she was going to cry. I’ve always felt bad for my mother, how fragile she is.

                I took her in and kissed her on the forehead. “It’s fine,” I said, “It just irritates me sometimes, that’s all.”

                Mom smiled up at me, then went back to her turkey on the stove. “Hugh will be home at six. Dinner should be ready by then.”

                “Okay, Mom.” I said as I walked to my room. My room was probably my favorite place in the entire house. My own private space where I could just keep to myself and read a book or something. I had a lot of books in my room, and I’ve read nearly all of them. When you live in a house like mine, you have to keep yourself distracted any way you can.

                I must’ve stayed in there for a while, because I heard the garage door slam under my feet, and I knew that Hugh had come back. I put my book down and walked out into the kitchen, waiting for him to come up the steps.

                When Hugh finally did come up, I knew instantly that the interview didn’t go well. His shirt was rumpled and untucked, his tie was loose around his neck, and the look in his eyes was deadly. Mom must’ve seen it too, because she hesitated before going up to him and kissing him on the cheek.

                “Supper’s almost ready, dear.” she said, wisely forgetting the interview. “I made your favorite.”

                Hugh just sat down and put his flask on the table. His eyes were red, which meant he’d already started drinking. He just leaned back and waited to be served. The way he sat there meant that he was mad as hell, and I knew that it was going to be a bad night. I took the cordless from the living room and went into my room, making sure that Hugh didn’t see. My hands started trembling when I dialed Amy’s number.

                “Hey, it’s Mike.” I said when she answered.

                “What’s up?” she asked.

                “Do you think you can come pick me up? Hugh’s not in a good mood, and I think it’s gonna get ugly real quick.”

                “Sure, let me just ask my mom.” Her voice picked up a new urgency. I heard her put down her phone and walk away. It took about twenty seconds for her to get back, and in between that time, Hugh started getting loud.

                Amy picked back up the phone. “You’re all clear. I’ll be over in five.”

                “Okay.” I said. Before she hung up, I warned her, “Be careful. Hugh’s already getting angry.”

                She gave me an okay, and we hung up. I left the phone in my room, took a deep breath and walked back out to the kitchen.

                “What the hell were you doing in there?” asked Hugh, already piling turkey onto his plate.

I sat at the table and took a drumstick. “I was calling my friend, Amy. I’m going over to her house after dinner to work on homework.”

Hugh gave me a mean look, then belched and went back to his meal. Mom looked down at her empty plate, not taking a scrap of food.

“Why don’t you eat something, Mom? It’s delicious.” I said.

“It’s dry.” Hugh mumbled as he drowned his turkey in gravy. “You cooked it for too long.”

                I could see my mother’s eyes get wider as she stared down at her plate. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I just cooked it the way it was written in the recipe.”

                Hugh glared at my mother with the heat of a thousand suns. “Are you talkin’ back, woman?” he grunted.               

                Mom looked at Hugh, but refused to make eye-contact. “No! I was just saying"“

                Hugh slammed his fists on the table, shaking everything. “Do you think I’m lying to you? When I say the meat’s too dry, the meat’s TOO DRY!” His face was red as he went up to get something from the cabinet. “You messed it up again, you useless b***h.”

                Sometimes certain things can trigger a feeling that you’ve tried very hard to bottle up. When Hugh called my mother a “useless b***h”, it triggered something in me that was in a completely different class than anger.

                I felt something snap in the back of my brain, like a switch had just been flipped. My mind went blank, and I could hardly move, but I managed to stare him right in the eyes and say in the calmest, quietest voice I could handle, “What did you just say?”

                Hugh looked back at me with disgust and anger. “I said she’s a useless b***h who can’t even get a goddamn meal right, Boy! Open your ears!”

                My fists were clenched under the table, but I couldn’t feel them. When I put them on the table, the fork in my hand was slightly bent. Slowly I stood up.

                “Well if she can’t make a meal right, why don’t you show her how?” I said.

                I didn’t think it was possible for Hugh’s face to scrunch up more, but it somehow managed to. “Don’t tell me you’re backtalkin’ too, Boy. That’s disrespectful.”

I almost laughed out loud, but what he’d said was so insane coming from someone like Hugh that it only made me angrier. “Do you really think you should be telling me about respect?” I asked, slowly walking towards him. “Of all the people in the world, what makes you think you can tell me about that? And what do you know about being useful? While Mom’s slaving away at the stove, you’re sitting on your a*s all day drinking beer and watching sports! Whenever I see you, you’re always yelling at her that she can’t do anything right, but I don’t see you doing anything AT ALL!”

Now I was in Hugh’s face.

“If you ever think about talking to her like that again, things aren’t going to end well, do you understand? It’s about time you showed Mom, and me, some F*****G RESPECT!”

There was about a second of tension and all my senses shut down. I didn’t see or hear anything, I wasn’t aware of my surroundings. I only saw the look on Hugh’s face turn from disgust to confusion. Then I felt a sharp blow to my face, and I was falling. I hit my forehead on the counter and tumbled to the floor in a heap. The hit to the head wasn’t enough to make me go under, but it made me dizzy as hell.

My mother was crying, and I could sense that Hugh was standing over me. I braced myself for another punch. But he hesitated. After a moment, I heard Hugh say, “Who the hell are you?”

I looked up, and Amy was standing in the doorway, her hands over her mouth and a look of shock on her face. She couldn’t say a word, and I knew then that she’d seen everything. My heart dropped into my stomach and my head sank to the floor. She was starting to tear up.

“Answer me when I talk to you!” Hugh said. He wasn’t letting up. “Are you deaf or just stupid?” I heard him clap his hands loudly to get her attention, and another switch flipped in my brain. That was the straw that broke my back.

                I opened my eyes and stared up at Amy, who was giving Hugh the nastiest look I had ever seen cross her face, and she looked beautiful. I gingerly rose to my feet, but almost fell because I was still dizzy. I went up to Amy and held her, and I whispered in her ear, “Go downstairs and wait. I’ll be there in a minute.” She nodded and slowly went, taking the stairs one at a time.

                When I couldn’t see her anymore, I slammed the door, went up to Hugh, and punched him right across his face. He staggered back and tried to get back up, but I was quicker than him. I kicked the back of his leg in, grabbed the hair on the back of his head, and slammed his face down into the cabinet door. He fell to the ground like a rag doll, and up to that point, it was the most satisfying thing I had ever seen in my life.

I looked back at my mother. She was sobbing quietly into her hands and didn’t dare look at anyone. Hugh was on the ground, bleeding from his nose and with traces of a black eye, and there was a cut on his head from where the cabinet splintered. I bent over and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him up into a sitting position. He looked dazed and drunk, like he usually did, but he looked frightened. That was something I never saw on Hugh’s face before.

“You ever talk to anyone like that again,” I said, “and I won’t stop next time. I’ll come back and I’ll make your life a living hell, do you understand?”

Hugh wouldn’t look me in the eye, but he nodded. I let go of his collar and let him slide to the floor. Adrenaline was racing through my veins at top speed, so I sat down and took a deep breath. Mom was still crying, but she was looking at me now. I went to comfort her, but she flinched and backed away from me, like I was an animal.

I would pay anything to see what I looked like when she did that to me. It must have been something awful. I tried to protect her, and she cowered at me? I couldn’t handle it. I got up and went downstairs. I couldn’t be there any longer, not while my own mother was looking at me that way.